Hank Moody Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Theres been a ton of speculation about why the Canucks are slumping as of late. I think I have figured it all out. It's not that they're tired, it's not that they just don't care right now until the playoffs. It's a series of unfortunate events. It all started with the Luongo twitter account. He's been tweeting so much lately, it's quite obvious he's not losing his job to Schneider by force. He's really just sitting on the bench with his Iphone checking up on Snooki's baby status, tweeting Pauly D and coming up with lame jokes that make us all smile only because we see that stupid picture of the guy with his head in the urinal and love that we see the human side of Luongo. All of this tweeting obviously has been hurting Luongo's eyesight, which is the reason why he's not able to dodge pucks that hit him in the neck in warmup and practice. Raymond, taking the flack for that hit to Luongo's neck, decided it's best if he takes more shots from the blueline and from the side boards to ensure most goalies have some time to react. You never want to be pegged as "that neck-hunter guy". The Sedins? Simple. They've become so good at cycling that they even fool themselves. That's right. They're one step ahead of themselves. When Henrik passes to Daniel, he's already visioning the pass back to himself. So when Henrik's passing to Daniel, he's actually thinking about passing to Henrik, confusing the crap out of themselves. Sometimes, when Henrik gets confused like that, he thinks hes Daniel, and he takes a shot. That doesn't happen often, but hey, every iPhone has the eventual application crash right? The defense is obviously a byproduct of the Cody Hodgson trade. Don't believe me? Look at it this way. Theres a rumour that Hodgson and Bieksa got in a bit of a confrontation in the locker room. One could only assume that seeing that smug smile on Hodgson's face before each shift gave Bieksa that extra edge he needed to act more gritty, and without him there, Bieksa spends an extra 5-10 seconds behind the Vancouver net looking for him on the bench for motivation, only to find the toothless Kassian grinning back. This slows down our breakout, which I blame on Gillis because he's really been slacking on that whole "sleep scheduling" scheme, so most of our guys decide to take naps in the defensive zone inbetween rushes. And don't even get me started on Rick Bowness. Rick Bowness has made his D-core feel so neglected during intermissions because of his overextensive enthusiasm for conducting interviews with Sportsnet, and obviously they've tuned him out. I want him shown to the door! Or, maybe, it's just a slump... Something like Detroit, San Jose, Boston and Phoenix have been going through recently... Nah, that can't be it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Epicentre Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Hahaha thanks for this. A refreshing thread from all the 2000 same threads on this board. I think we missed the fact they stopped doing the down the bench high fives after the goal... that's gotta be something. The players don't feel so inclined to score anymore without being recognized by all their other team mates. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hank Moody Posted March 20, 2012 Author Share Posted March 20, 2012 Hahaha thanks for this. A refreshing thread from all the 2000 same threads on this board. I think we missed the fact they stopped doing the down the bench high fives after the goal... that's gotta be something. The players don't feel so inclined to score anymore without being recognized by all their other team mates. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr.DirtyDangles Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 I have been LMAO for about 10 min now. Great post . Especially the part on Bieksa and Cody lolz ! People need to lighten up , the ship will right itself in time for the playoffs ! I am not too worried. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Van_City123 Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 HAHAHA great post. people do need to realize that it's just a slump. They got 10 games left to figure things out. Come playoff time everythng will be fine. I have faith in this team. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toni Zamboni Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 LOL, plus 1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darren_Y Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 "When Henrik passes to Daniel, he's already visioning the pass back to himself. So when Henrik's passing to Daniel, he's actually thinking about passing to Henrik" lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edler's Mind Tricks Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Wiserman applause in order for creativity. You forgot about Rome making them all feel worthless in comparison, Edler mind tricking them into saving themselves for the playoffs, and how Bitz not being here has taken the blitz out of our game. Kesler finally got (edit:) Kelly to come over last night after asking how she is doing so often and he is still beat. Kassian and MAG brought a whole boatload of Buffalo wings over and.. Well lets just say they aren't exactly fresh anymore... A couple of upset stomachs right there! And idk if now is the right time to start training the Sedins in MMA, they look kinda tired and beat up! Good in principal but please wait till the offseason! Oh ya, and Burr and Lapierre have started giving french lessons so a couple of the guys have had trouble keeping focused. Now I hear they are gonna convince Manny to grow playoff hair instead of a playoff beard... How to throw a guy off his game!!! Ya, the Nucks have some tought times up ahead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marleau_12 Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Thank you so much for this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erik Karlsson Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 hahahah + 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hogs & Podz Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Raymond, taking the flack for that hit to Luongo's neck, decided it's best if he takes more shots from the blueline and from the side boards to ensure most goalies have some time to react. You never want to be pegged as "that neck-hunter guy". lol!!! instant classic! more posts like this please, cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taelin Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 And AV has been worried because he swallowed that piece of gum back in the Boston game. Having it sit in your stomach for 7 years is frightening, so he's been distracted for a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SedinDomination Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Wiserman applause in order for creativity. You forgot about Rome making them all feel worthless in comparison, Edler mind tricking them into saving themselves for the playoffs, and how Bitz not being here has taken the blitz out of our game. Kesler finally got that guys wife to come over last night after asking how she is doing so often and he is still beat. Kassian and MAG brought a whole boatload of Buffalo wings over and.. Well lets just say they aren't exactly fresh anymore... A couple of upset stomachs right there! And idk if now is the right time to start training the Sedins in MMA, they look kinda tired and beat up! Good in principal but please wait till the offseason! Oh ya, and Burr and Lapierre have started giving french lessons so a couple of the guys have had trouble keeping focused. Now I hear they are gonna convince Manny to grow playoff hair instead of a playoff beard... How to throw a guy off his game!!! Ya, the Nucks have some tought times up ahead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmpunk Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Does LU actually have twitter?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smashian Kassian Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Lu has twitter? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Go Faulk Yourself Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Hahaha! What a great read, that made my night, thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timmylu1 Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 i couldnt read past the luongo iphone comment have some class bro Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raoul Duke Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Or, maybe, it's just a slump... Something like Detroit, San Jose, Boston and Phoenix have been going through recently... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baggins Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Does LU actually have twitter?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baggins Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 i couldnt read past the luongo iphone comment have some class bro Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.