UMB Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't say anything because its a duck. Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because drawing a perfect circle is impossible for any human 2 Link to comment
Gran Turismo Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 What's Bruce Lee's favourite drink? Wah-tah! 2 Link to comment
We Broke The Cup Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 How do you catch a polar bear? Cut a hole in the ice, place some peas around the hole and when the bear comes up to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole! Link to comment
marinated.pea Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 What kind of weapon can potassium, nickel, and iron make? A KNiFe 1 Link to comment
Armada Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 I wanna punch a couple of you. Cheesy jokes piss me off Link to comment
cs2016 Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 (edited) Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't say anything because its a duck. Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because drawing a perfect circle is impossible for any human Why was Sally sad? Because her face was stapled to the ground. Edited July 8, 2012 by cs2016 3 Link to comment
Gran Turismo Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 What do Winnie the Pooh and Jack the Ripper have in common? They have the same middle name. 1 Link to comment
NightHawkSniper Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Why did the Chicken cross the road? To beat the s#!t out of Marchand. Link to comment
marinated.pea Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 How do you catch a polar bear? Cut a hole in the ice, place some peas around the hole and when the bear comes up to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole! We peas are a gentle, non-violent kind. Don't encourage the stereotypes... Now back to the chemistry jokes! But not really, I only like them periodically... 1 Link to comment
cs2016 Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 What's red, green and spins around really fast? A frog in a blender. Link to comment
Gran Turismo Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2, but I have no idea how they'd get in the lightbulb. 3 Link to comment
Squirrels.Gone.Wild Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 What did the baby digital clock say to the mama clock? "Look Ma, No hands!" Link to comment
OrdinaryBoy Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Why did the boy throw peanut butter in the ocean? To go with the jellyfish. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally. 1 Link to comment
Gooby Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 (edited) What kind of Computer sings? A Dell. Edited July 8, 2012 by Gooby 2 Link to comment
Vapourstreak Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ................................. Link to comment
marinated.pea Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Argon walks into a bar. The bartender goes "We don't serve noble gases here. GET OUT" Argon doesn't react. 2 Link to comment
elvis15 Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 (edited) ... I'm a fan of anti-jokes That's like the latest episode of 'Louie' with Louie CK. It starts with his kids telling him knock knock jokes and his youngest daughter says she has one, but its more like a regular joke. Daughter: "Who told the Gorilla he couldn't go to the ballet?" Louie:"Uh, ok. I don't know, who?" Daughter: "Well... ...the people who are in charge of those decisions. I mean, the people who decide those kinds of things." I paraphrased, but it made me laugh. Edited July 8, 2012 by elvis15 1 Link to comment
Vapourstreak Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Argon walks into a bar. The bartender goes "We don't serve noble gases here. GET OUT" Argon doesn't react. Funny pictures thread? Since we're into chemistry jokes, Proton walks into a bar, and finds Neutron sobbing over a drink. "Don't be so negative, you two have chemistry!" "How do you know?" "Because I'm positive!" ... Right, that's why I'm at home and not out with friends... 2 Link to comment
Vapourstreak Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Polar bear: Help me, I fell into the water, and now I'm dissolving! Black bear: But bears are insoluble.. Polar bear: Easy for you to say, you're not polar! 1 Link to comment
nucklehead Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 I want to open a cheese shop and call it "Cheeses by Jesus"! 1 Link to comment
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