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Cheesy Joke Thread

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Salter

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An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are shown a pasture with a herd of sheep, and told to put them inside the smallest possible amount of fence. The engineer is first. He herds the sheep into a circle and then puts the fence around them, declaring, "A circle will use the least fence for a given area, so this is the best solution." The physicist is next. She creates a circular fence of infinite radius around the sheep, and then draws the fence tight around the herd, declaring, "This will give the smallest circular fence around the herd." The mathematician is last. After giving the problem a little thought, he puts a small fence around himself and then declares, "I define myself to be on the outside!"

"A biologist, a physicist, and a mathematician were sitting in a street cafe, watching the crowd. Across the street they saw a man and a woman entering an empty building. Ten minutes later they reappeared together with a third person. “They have reproduced,” said the biologist. “Oh no, an error in measurement,” the physicist sighed. “If exactly one person enters the building now, it will be empty again,” the mathematician concluded

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef

What do you call a cow with 2 legs?

Lean Beef

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a wall?

Art

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a tiger cage?

Claude

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep?

Matt

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a piece of paper?

Mark

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs being cooked by cannibals?

Stu

Edited by Teen Icarus
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Horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks..............".so , why the long face"...............

How do you piss your wife off when making love? ..................Phone her.

Blond walks down the beach with boyfriend. Boyfriend says ......"look , dead pelican " ................Blond looks up and goes" Where"?

Doctor sees a patient tell him he has six months to live. Turns out the patient couldn't pay the bill, doctor give him 6 more months.

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Funny pictures thread?   :P

Since we're into chemistry jokes,

Proton walks into a bar, and finds Neutron sobbing over a drink.

"Don't be so negative, you two have chemistry!"

"How do you know?"

"Because I'm positive!"

... Right, that's why I'm at home and not out with friends...

Rene Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender asks him, "Rene are you going to have a drink today?" He thinks for a moment before replying, "No, I don't think that I am". *POOF* He vanishes into thin air.

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