:(

[Navyblue]

I usually keep my personal life off of the internet, especially on forums, but as most of my friends are asleep and I've already called most of the ones who aren't, here goes.

So, I decided to try out online dating. As a 25 year old single guy who works with all males, I find it very hard to meet women. Well, I met an amazing one....Looks, body, great chemistry where it counts. We really hit it off for a couple of weeks until she right clicked her firefox button en route to looking up movie times.

There they were, the most viewed pages...facebook, guy's profile on dating site, guy's profile on dating site. First they were friends who she still talked to, who didn't work out in the dating sense. Second, she says she hasn't even been on that site in a month and that the list was just a random one with sites that are just that, random. I suppose it's a different version of firefox than the one I have.....yea right.

Well, the ever pervasive detective I am go on to see "online this week" etc. Not that I had much question after seeing the most viewed.

As a guy who values trust and honesty, I absolutely hate being lied to and taken for a fool. So, I broke it off with her. We got along great...she's very intelligent with a bright future...I just couldn't accept being lied to when it was all on the table like that.

Did I go overboard? We weren't in a serious relationship, but it was agreed that we weren't seeing anyone else. I thought it was disrespectful to be going on a dating site while in that situation...more so to lie about it.

What do you silly people think? I feel absolutely terrible. She was crying pretty badly.

[Bertuzzi Babe]

I think you've shot yourself in the foot pretty badly, actually. Overboard would be a pretty descriptive and apt word. Just my two cents worth.

[:D]

I was going to say, I know that feel bro, and back you up but...

What are you doing? Huge overreaction on your part. By the sounds of it, you guys weren't going steady and aren't in high school so why are you bringing up all this (what amounts to) high school drama?

I don't know if you have burned the bridge already, but back it up, eat crow and see if you can save whatever you guys had going. Then take the time to grow on each other before you start overreacting about internet nonsense.

[Navyblue]

I think you've shot yourself in the foot pretty badly, actually. Overboard would be a pretty descriptive and apt word. Just my two cents worth.

[Denguin]

I'll post more tomorrow, but it sounds to me like you did exactly what you had to do. It sounds to me like she was keeping you around as a plan b in case it didn't work out with those other guys.

[Master Mind]

So did you actually go into her history to see that she was on the dating site? If not, then there's no proof that she was on there recently. For me, firefox remembers the sites I've been to the most in the last year. Could be the same for her.

[Navyblue]

So did you actually go into her history to see that she was on the dating site? If not, then there's no proof that she was on there recently. For me, firefox remembers the sites I've been to the most in the last year. Could be the same for her.

[I♥Wellwood]

I signed on and went to her profile and it said last online this week. Also said "looking for a relationship" still.

She said "haven't been on in over a month" etc.

[Navyblue]

If you were both aware that you two were an item, I think you were right in ending it. Why would she need to be on a dating site and looking for other guys ?

Oh and have you questioned her yet ? I'm sure she'll tell you that she just logged in to check for "fun" and she wasn't there to find any guys.

There's nothing worse than a partner that lies

[I♥Wellwood]

I did yea and she said it must be a glitch in the system showing her online recently etc.

I didn't know about the recent being a compilation of the whole year though. How do you check that?

It's sad, I'm sad. I really liked her company...But, you have to take a stand I guess when it comes to them being untrustworthy I guess.

[Master Mind]

I signed on and went to her profile and it said last online this week. Also said "looking for a relationship" still.

She said "haven't been on in over a month" etc.

[Offensive Threat]

Some people go to dating sites the same way some go to dealerships when they cant even afford a new car. Just looking around when bored.

Could have avoided the drama by just having a real conversation with her about it but whatever.

[I♥Wellwood]

Some people go to dating sites the same way some go to dealerships when they cant even afford a new car. Just looking around when bored.

Could have avoided the drama by just having a real conversation with her about it but whatever.

[Grapefruits]

I signed on and went to her profile and it said last online this week. Also said "looking for a relationship" still.

She said "haven't been on in over a month" etc.

[-DLC-]

"A couple of weeks". She obviously has not had enough time to determine that you're the one and you should have more faith in yourself, let alone her. Instead of prying, snooping and investigating your time spent with someone new that you really like should be more focused on having fun and connecting....the rest will fall into place after that. But your insecurity will be an issue if you don't address it. Dating someone for a few weeks does not allow enough time to even get started...so instead of claiming ownership you should have relaxed and enjoyed your time with her.

[avelanch]

honestly, you were only dating for 2 weeks, 1 month max, she has no idea if it's going to work out. plus unless she actually went out with someone during that time (the later half, TBH) then there really isn't anything to freak out and overract about. I guarantee you looked at porn during that time period, if she were to find out about that do you think she'd be justified in breaking up with you?

if you are going to break up with someone over something so minor that quick into the relationship, you might not be ready for an actual relationship.

[Tigs]

Personally, it sounds like you did the right thing. I've always thought that if your clear that you are an item with someone, there should be no need for them to continue looking for a partner...

[Navyblue]

honestly, you were only dating for 2 weeks, 1 month max, she has no idea if it's going to work out. plus unless she actually went out with someone during that time (the later half, TBH) then there really isn't anything to freak out and overract about. I guarantee you looked at porn during that time period, if she were to find out about that do you think she'd be justified in breaking up with you?

if you are going to break up with someone over something so minor that quick into the relationship, you might not be ready for an actual relationship.

[Denguin]

Just to re-visit my thoughts last night...

I guess I can't really comment on her behaviour whole-heartedly... I've never used the online dating method, so I don't know what's considered normal and what's not.

HOWEVER just in the context of dating in general, I'd say you made a respectable call. My feeling is that she was more interested in the guy(s) she was checking out, and was keeping you around in case they didn't pan out. Keep in mind, if she's not satisfied with you to begin with, she'll constantly be looking for someone "better", and you'd eventually be hurt in the end anyway; and let me tell you, it's a lot better to be hurt now as opposed to a few years down the road.

I don't know how many chances you gave her, but it might not have been a bad move to tell her straight up that you weren't going to settle for second-best, and ask her to call you when you wouldn't be. That way, you would've left the ball in her court, and it would be up to her to realize that you were after a serious relationship, nothing casual.

It sounds like you were pretty emotionally invested in her. Keep your head up... I know how you feel, and I'm sure most guys have gone through this at one point or another. Finding the next one is not a matter of if, it's more of a matter of when. And when you do find her, you'll realize how things were for the best that they didn't work out with this girl. I was absolutely lead on by another girl a few months ago, and while I was absolutely devastated for a week or two, my current GF makes me realize how lucky I was to have things pan out with the girl before.

[Denguin]

Over lying? The topic of online dating came up when she accidentally showed me her frequent sites list. She said she wasn't using it any more due to us seeing each other exclusively.

A couple weeks later, I felt she was a little distant and started wondering. I check the site and see that she's still active on it.

So, you're saying that breaking up is over reacting? I do admit I have some trust issues, but I feel that this is warranted. She was trying to have her cake and eat it to as in have me treating her like gold taking her out for dinner, movies, icecream, the whole gentleman ball of wax, because I thought we were an item, while getting attention/fishing for other guys on the side when I'm not there. That's not the type of person I want to be with. I like to be chivalrous but only when the respect is returned.

It isn't out of insecurity either...I keep myself in great shape, I strive to be the best I can be at most things I do, and I've never had a problem getting a date....I just ???? hate being lied to.