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Happy Festivus - The Holiday For The Rest Of Us!


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It is here... December 23 - that most sacred secular of holidays.

Happy Festivus!!! - The Holiday for the Rest of Us


I hope you and yours had an enjoyable Festivus Eve.

What is Festivus??? Well I am glad that you asked because I can now post a long and detailed account and separate Festivus fact from fiction.

Here is the romanticized version popularized by Seinfeld - the Show About Nothing:


AHHHHH.... the Airing of Grievances (kind of a blood sport on CDC Off-Topic Forum year round) and Feats of Strength.



The beautiful FESTIVUS Pole - an unadorned aluminium pole (very high strength-to-weight ratio). Like so many I find tinsel on the traditional tree so distracting. It is also very easy to store when not being used during the Festivus season - slide it under a bed, stand it up in a storage closet. etc. And it is eco-friendly.


Even politicians celebrate this happy event. In 2005, Wisconsin Governor Jim Doyle was declared "Governor Festivus" and during the holiday season displayed a Festivus Pole in the family room of the Executive Residence in Madison, Wisconsin. Governor Doyle's 2005 Festivus Pole is now part of the collection of the Wisconsin Historical Museum.


Modern observances of FESTIVUS tend to feature heavy drinking, including copious amounts beer, rum, bourbon, or wine and especially Scotch (single malt 12 year old preferably The Macallan) - my kind of holiday.


Many myths have grown up around Festivus. This is understandable given that its true origins have been shrouded in the mists of time - Festivus actually dates all the way back to 1966.

Festivus, a holiday most believe was invented on an episode of "Seinfeld" first broadcast the week before Christmas in 1997. Festivus was NOT invented by Frank Costanza of Seinfeld. It is not a fictional holiday popularized by "The Show About Nothing" - that was a fictionalized treatment.

Festivus was brought to the world by wise man (wise guy?) Dan O'Keefe in 1966 and his son Daniel was a writer on Seinfeld who adapted this joyous event for television. Festivus grew from classic rituals like familial gatherings, totemic-but-mysterious objects and respect for ancestors. For example according to Daniel O'Keefe "There was a clock in a paper bag" but no one had clue what it symbolized.

However credit must be given to Seinfeld for bringing this wonderful holiday with its peculiar practises to the masses. If Dan O'Keefe is the real father of Festivus, Jerry Stiller, the actor who played Frank Costanza, George Costanza's father, is its Santa Claus to put it in terms those who follow that weird ritual of Christmas might understand.

Other myths:

Festivus does not replace Christmas temporally (or the Holiday Season if you wish to be politically correct) as it is celebrated today December 23.

Seinfeld cheapened the idea of the Festivus miracle:

Miracle #1;

Sleazy Guy: "Hello again, Miss Benes."

Elaine Benes: "What are you doing here?"

Sleazy Guy: "Damnedest thing. Me and Charlie were calling to ask you out, and, uh, we got this bagel place."

Cosmo Kramer: "I told them I was just about to see you. It's a Festivus Miracle!"

Miracle #2;

Gwen: "Jerry!"

Jerry Seinfeld: "Gwen! How did you know I was here?"

Gwen: "Kramer told me!"

Cosmo Kramer: "Another Festivus Miracle!"

A true Festivus miracle would be something such as the Maple Leafs making the play-offs.

And food and drink differs from true Festivus as compared to the Seinfeld version. The on-air Seinfeld meal was shown to be some sort of meatloaf. The original holiday dinner in the O'Keefe household featured turkey or ham followed by a Pepperidge Farm cake decorated with M&M's. And lots of alcohol... that was not served during the Seinfeld depiction but George Costanza's boss, Mr. Kruger, drinks from a hip flask.

For those of you who wish to participate in this long time (44 year old) tradition there are even downloads of a feats of strength challenge card, a list of grievances form and Festivus greeting cards, including one that reads, in a Hallmark-like typeface, "You're a disappointment! Happy Festivus!" It is a great help in planning a Festivus gathering although be aware it has the more fictionalized approach to Festivus popularized by Seinfeld.


And of course there is still time to make a donation (to a non-existent charity - saves money):


There is both a full size (six foot) Festivus Pole


And tabletop versions and a 2 Foot 8 Inch Table Top Festivus Pole Kit:


As well as other Festivus items such as an all-in-one solution:


Formal wear for your gathering:


And if you want to learn more and truly get to know the ins and outs of this most festive holiday...


To one and all at CDC Off-Topic Forum:


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It’s funny how some fables became historic

When the authors clearly wrote them to be metaphoric

But people will believe anything if it’s written

Especially in stone or ancient scroll

December 25th has been blacklisted

Since Dawkins found the proof Jesus never existed

It was the last thing anyone ever expected

Xmas has been X’d

No colored lights, no shopping sprees

No more presents under dead trees

St. Nick is dead but we don’t grieve

We celebrate the last Christmas Eve

Jesuits are slowly turning Dianetic

Protestants increasingly become agnostic

Pentecostal churches are hanging pentagrams

Priests and Nuns are molesting each other

Methodists and Baptists are claiming Buddhist

Evangelicals surprisingly are Nudist

But mostly everyone is trying to become Jew

Cuz Easter’s canceled too

No more egg hunts, no Sunday mass

Fridays are fair, Wednesdays don’t ash

They canceled lent and slowed down fast

Enjoy Christmas cuz it’s your last

No shopping sprees (don’t worry son)

No more presents (We don’t need christ) under dead trees (We got eight nights)

St. Nick is dead (we got mitzvah) but we don’t grieve (The’re all canceled)

We celebrate (our hanukah) the last Christmas eve

Mike burkett

I hope that everyone on cdc has a great christmas and a fantastic new year , and that everyone you love is happy and healthy .

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