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[Proposal] Major Shakeup


D.Doughty

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We have seen athletes take on two sports in their careers; Michael Jordan playing both professional basketball and baseball, Antonio Gates playing NCAA basketball and NFL football and many others to list.

So I am proposing we sign the following players

1) Usain Bolt

The fastest man in the world. If we can take his speed on the track to the speed on the ice, he could be the fastest player to ever play the game. He can blow past defensive defenders like Doug Murray, Zdeno Chara and push the defence back. This could be a useful tactic to increase tempo and have the opponents on their heels.

2) Logan Mankin

Arguably one of the best guards in the NFL. His large size will allow him to stand/sit in front of the net and take all the shots. Because he is so big, players of the opposing team will not be able to score as there is no holes in his game! He is used to taking hits/shots as he protects Tom Brady from linebackers such as Ray Lewis

3) Georges St-Pierre

He would be our tough guy/goon on our 4th line. Who will want to F with the Sedins/Kesler when they know their punishment is having to fight GSP. I know even players like John Scott wouldn't lay a finger on our stars.

4) Yao Ming

Last but not least, we should consider signing Yao Ming. If we stick his big body frame in front of the goalie, how can they see?!?! Perfect net presence on the PP.

Who would you guys like to see in a canucks uniform?

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5) Kyokutenho Masaru

Would be a perfect goalie as he is 6'3 348 lbs while being very agile. He is a sumo champion. He would literally cover 81.3% of the net just by being in the butterfly.

6) Brock Lesner

4th line winger, to play along side GSP. He would be the grand champion of open ice hits, Scott Stevens hasn't seen hits like this before.

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5) Kyokutenho Masaru

Would be a perfect goalie as he is 6'3 348 lbs while being very agile. He is a sumo champion. He would literally cover 81.3% of the net just by being in the butterfly.

6) Brock Lesner

4th line winger, to play along side GSP. He would be the grand champion of open ice hits, Scott Stevens hasn't seen hits like this before.

Would you rather have Kyokutenho or Logan be the starter? Both have strengths and weakness. Kyokutenho is more agile for his big frame than Logan but Logan may have more hockey senses since he played a team sport before. As well, he can probably hit players getting the puck in our zone than Kyokutenho

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I like the suggestions, but what about bringing LeBron in as the power forward for the Sedins?

Rob Ford can't stay on his feet :bigblush:

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We wouldn't need to worry about it. Just tell him to go park his giant body in front of the net and let everyone else do the work :bigblush:

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I like the suggestions, but what about bringing LeBron in as the power forward for the Sedins?

We wouldn't need to worry about it. Just tell him to go park his giant body in front of the net and let everyone else do the work :bigblush:

I agree a powerforward may be nice for the sedins but we already tried that with Kassian,Pyatt,Bernier and had minimum success. The most success was with Anson Carter who was a sharpshooter. Who do we know is the best sharshooter in the game? Ray Allen of course. Most 3s in the NBA. He can pick the corner on the goalie even when there is a defencemen right in front of him. He just needs to get open and we know he can because he's always open when Lebron+Wade are on the court. So I propose Ray Allen with the Sedin twins.

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Sign a homeless man but don't clean him up. He can stand in front of the other teams goalie and soil himself all game. The stink will be so foul the opposing goalie will have to play with watery eyes and struggle to stay conscious while the defenders refuse to box out the hobo making him a rebound machine.

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