Goat James Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 So, I'm 19 and my GF told me yesterday that she's five weeks late. Haven't had a pregnancy test yet, but she usually not late. We're not gonna keep it, but we were texting tonight and she said something along the lines of "it's starting to develop a nervous system" and then it struck me: THERE'S A ?!#?o)!# KID IN THERE?!?!?!?! I'm pro choice, don't care about what other people do, it's up to them, and I've always thought that I wouldn't care too much if I had to have an abortion. But apperantly I do. I'll be living the rest of my life knowing that I killed my own child!!! And the argument "it's not a person yet", no it's not, but it will be, and you can't define exactly when it becomes a person. There specific moment in time when it goes from being an embryo to being a human. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH So yea, just had to write this, it'd be nice if someone who's been through the same thing could tell me what they did and so on....... Don't know if this is supposed to go in here or in white noise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Warhippy Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 Not touching this with a 10 foot pole man. Best you seriously sit down discuss this head on with her and with a close older family member you can trust to be quiet and discrete. This isn't really for us to interject our opinions on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*VaNcOuVeRCaNuCkS* Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 At this point you have to sit down with the G/F and have a serious talk It is not all about the fact it is a living person, Are you both ready for children? Can you adequately provide for the child? You will need to ask yourself these questions and many more to be able to determine what is right for the both of you I went through this a while ago and we both felt at the time we weren't ready This may or may not help but it is what it is Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goat James Posted March 20, 2014 Author Share Posted March 20, 2014 At this point you have to sit down with the G/F and have a serious talk It is not all about the fact it is a living person, Are you both ready for children? Can you adequately provide for the child? You will need to ask yourself these questions and many more to be able to determine what is right for the both of you I went through this a while ago and we both felt at the time we weren't ready This may or may not help but it is what it is We're not ready in any way for children, but the thing is that it feels like I'd be killing my own child........................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grapefruits Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 We're not ready in any way for children, but the thing is that it feels like I'd be killing my own child........................ there is always adoption. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-DLC- Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 This is not a topic for discussion unless it's between the parties involved. It's a very personal decision that you'll carry for life...having others weigh in on it just isn't right. You can't ask for advice because you have to live with this no matter what you decide. And yes, adoption is a viable option. It's tough...a really tough thing. So, honestly, spend your time with her walking and thinking and considering. Time spent here asking won't lead you in the right direction...it'll only pull you all over the place. Because it is something you'll carry later in life. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goat James Posted March 20, 2014 Author Share Posted March 20, 2014 there is always adoption. Yeah, but that's sick too, I mean that's giving away your kid. He/she would never know who you are and you wouldn't know who they are either,,,, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aGENT Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 Rock, meet hard place. But it's a bit too late to be more careful now... You and her need to talk a LOT and have some VERY tough decisions to make. I don't envy you. I wouldn't want to make that call and I'm glad I never had to (particularly at your age). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*VaNcOuVeRCaNuCkS* Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 We're not ready in any way for children, but the thing is that it feels like I'd be killing my own child........................ Well you basically answered the question in your 1st 8 words Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TOMapleLaughs Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 It's ultimately up to her whether she wants to keep it or not. It's ultimately up to you whether you want to man up and stick around or not if she does decide to keep it. What would Ice Cube, the character rapper, do? Well, he would have worn a jimmy hat. Ice Cube's message was quite clear if I recall. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
avelanch Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 Yeah, you could always bring up the Juneau maneuver to your gf. See if she'd be willing to bring it to full term so it can live and it can enrich the lives of a couple that can't have children. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Ambien Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 So, I'm 19 and my GF told me yesterday that she's five weeks late. Haven't had a pregnancy test yet, but she usually not late. We're not gonna keep it, but we were texting tonight and she said something along the lines of "it's starting to develop a nervous system" and then it struck me: THERE'S A ?!#?o)!# KID IN THERE?!?!?!?! I'm pro choice, don't care about what other people do, it's up to them, and I've always thought that I wouldn't care too much if I had to have an abortion. But apperantly I do. I'll be living the rest of my life knowing that I killed my own child!!! And the argument "it's not a person yet", no it's not, but it will be, and you can't define exactly when it becomes a person. There specific moment in time when it goes from being an embryo to being a human. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH So yea, just had to write this, it'd be nice if someone who's been through the same thing could tell me what they did and so on....... Don't know if this is supposed to go in here or in white noise. It is killing your own child. And if you're not okay with it, then don't support it if she chooses to have one. This pro-choice, pro-life label is ridiculous. Most people are against abortion. They realize a fetus is a human, it is living. Most people also understand that a woman has the right to elect to keep that fetus in there or rid of it from her body, so to speak. The freedom of choices also has the freedom of responsibility. Don't ever go along with something that you strongly believe shouldn't be done. If she does in fact turn out pregnant, and wants an abortion, and you are vehemently against it, go with your own beliefs. You don't need to tell her what to do, just let her know your position, and in many cases, this sort of thing can damage a relationship. All I can say is, the best way to avoid this situation is, if you're going to forego a jimmy hat or methods of birth control, is be very very careful who you're with. I've been in this situation before, with a religious ex of mine no less. She opted for an abortion because we technically weren't married yet (were engaged and the wedding was a few months away). This wrecked the relationship. To add insult to injury, she still wanted to have unprotected sex after we broke up too. Some people never learn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goat James Posted March 20, 2014 Author Share Posted March 20, 2014 It is killing your own child. And if you're not okay with it, then don't support it if she chooses to have one. This pro-choice, pro-life label is ridiculous. Most people are against abortion. They realize a fetus is a human, it is living. Most people also understand that a woman has the right to elect to keep that fetus in there or rid of it from her body, so to speak. The freedom of choices also has the freedom of responsibility. Don't ever go along with something that you strongly believe shouldn't be done. If she does in fact turn out pregnant, and wants an abortion, and you are vehemently against it, go with your own beliefs. You don't need to tell her what to do, just let her know your position, and in many cases, this sort of thing can damage a relationship. All I can say is, the best way to avoid this situation is, if you're going to forego a jimmy hat or methods of birth control, is be very very careful who you're with. I'm not gonna force a 19 year old girl who I love and respect to have a baby if she doesn't want to. Both for my, her and the baby's sake. Imagine if the kid knew "oh, mom wanted to not have you but dad talked her into keeping you." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Ambien Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 I'm not gonna force a 19 year old girl who I love and respect to have a baby if she doesn't want to. Both for my, her and the baby's sake. Imagine if the kid knew "oh, mom wanted to not have you but dad talked her into keeping you." Note that the word "force" was not ever, at all, said or even implied in my post. There isn't anything wrong with a guy taking responsibility in his act of creating a life. Just because a woman has the ultimate choice, doesn't mean he needs to shut up and go along with her. An ex of mine tried to guilt me into supporting her abortion, but I refused. I see no reason to. And I presume both people know the consequences of having sex, especially unprotected. It's really your choice in the end, if she's pregnant, wants an abortion, and you don't mind, power to you. However, clearly there are reservations here as you stated in the OP, and if you are unsure or even don't want that, use the power you do have and make it known. Your opinion is the only thing you have here, and it would make no sense to forego giving your two cents. Some people aren't even able to conceive, so having the option to even have a child would be wonderful to them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drummer4now Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 I'm not gonna force a 19 year old girl who I love and respect to have a baby if she doesn't want to. Both for my, her and the baby's sake. Imagine if the kid knew "oh, mom wanted to not have you but dad talked her into keeping you." I'm not gonna force a 19 year old girl who I love and respect to have a baby if she doesn't want to. Both for my, her and the baby's sake. Imagine if the kid knew "oh, mom wanted to not have you but dad talked her into keeping you." If your gonna decided to have the baby then don't be one of those dead beat dads... Either give he or she up for adoption or be in the childs life. I honestly give you props for posting this on CDC shows balls, but at the same time maybe you shouldn't have.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goat James Posted March 20, 2014 Author Share Posted March 20, 2014 If your gonna decided to have the baby then don't be one of those dead beat dads... Either give he or she up for adoption or be in the childs life. I honestly give you props for posting this on CDC shows balls, but at the same time maybe you shouldn't have.. Don't think we're keeping it, but yeah, if we did I'd be involved, of course (my parents were 22 when they had me and I've had a great childhood, so it's definitely doable.) What I'm really looking for is for people who've gone through the same thing and for them to tell me what they did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-AJ- Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 This is something you and your girlfriend will have to decide for yourselves, however, I can give a tidbit of advice. I'd agree that the realization that you're preventing a human life from happening would be a tough one and it could be argued that it's along the lines of murder, as you said. As a result, I'd advise either to tough it out and keep the child, or to give it up for adoption when it comes. Whichever way you choose, even if not one of the options I recommend, make sure to put some serious thought into it and have a serious talk about it with your girlfriend. Best of luck, mate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Ambien Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 Don't think we're keeping it, but yeah, if we did I'd be involved, of course (my parents were 22 when they had me and I've had a great childhood, so it's definitely doable.) What I'm really looking for is for people who've gone through the same thing and for them to tell me what they did. I've been through the same thing, she (a religious nut, with me being agnostic) had an abortion fully knowing I didn't support it, especially given we were getting married, and we both knew that having unprotected sex results in children.. so it wound up wrecking the relationship. She also had a few complications post-abortion, but unfortunately was still able to conceive children later. But I mean, if you're a-ok with an abortion, and she is, then I don't see what the predicament is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goat James Posted March 20, 2014 Author Share Posted March 20, 2014 I've been through the same thing, she (a religious nut, with me being agnostic) had an abortion fully knowing I didn't support it, especially given we were getting married, and we both knew that having unprotected sex results in children.. so it wound up wrecking the relationship. She also had a few complications post-abortion, but unfortunately was still able to conceive children later. But I mean, if you're a-ok with an abortion, and she is, then I don't see what the predicament is. The thing is that we're so young. It'd fuck up everything. She's studying to become a doctor and I'm working low income jobs. If she had to be pregnant for nine months and then take care of the baby for at least a year then that'd really mess up her studying. I don't feel ready to take care of a fucking kid either, GAAAAAH. I'm fairly certain I'd wanna keep it 100 % if I was a few years older. But the thing is that for the rest of my life I'd know that I'd killed my own child, and that can't be too fun. Edit: I'd +1 all your posts if I wasn't surfing on my cell phone. <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Heffy Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 Had the exact same thing happen to me years ago when I was around your age. She didn't keep it, and I'm damn grateful she didn't, as it would have pretty much ruined my life. That's as much as I'm willing to say publicly, but feel free to PM me if you have further questions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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