Why do women tend to care less about the "six pack/eight pack" than men?

[GLASSJAW]

Most women aren't too caught up about whether or not you have a six pack, more than you might think don't even care about weight. What they do care about is avoiding the ones who look like they could be in shape but have chosen not to be, this is seen as a sign of laziness.

It comes to the basic differences between men and women. Men generally have a list of things they would prefer in a woman, and seek out those who have those qualities. Women generally have a list of things they want to avoid in a man, and seek out those who do not have those qualities.

This is why negative attributes like being jobless or living with parents will have a much greater impact on dating than positive attributes such as having a fancy car. There are far less tire biters out there than there are women who refuse to date a man with no car. Similarly, there are far more women who will never be attracted to a man who looks like he doesn't exercise and eats poorly than there are women who only want to date roided out muscle freaks.

Men focus on the positive, they want the six pack, they think women are looking for the six pack (in truth, a few are, but not many). Women focus on the negative, they want to avoid the abnormally large belly, this is interpreted by men as a desire for six packs, but in reality most will like a guy with a flat, soft stomach just as much as a guy with a chiseled one, they key is that neither is an indicator of a sedentary lifestyle.

You want to meet more women. Quit smoking, buy a reliable vehicle, move out of the parent's basement, get a non-labour/non-fast food job, wash your clothes, avoid poor grooming. In short, get rid of anything a woman can complain about. Don't waste time with trying to be the ideal man, there is no such thing, the ideal man is simply the man who isn't a loser, and who doesn't have any obvious detractors.

Women, on the other hand, can have many negative qualities that can mean little or nothing to most men if they happen to have a few positive things going for them. Any woman with a great body can live with her parents all she likes, can be a smoker, can work a low paying job and still get all the attention she wants.

man who works in labour = loser?

[Jimayo]

Because women are more in tune with emotional projection than men are. You can be a fat slob but if you have a good personality and project confidence women will respond.

[PlayStation]

Son, the 6 pack is overrated. And you have goals that are not concurrent. Pick one and go for it otherwise you'll be wandering training no-mans land going nowhere fast.If you want to get leaner and build a little muscle, eat at maintence, train hard, do conditioning 2x per week, and have enough patience to stick with this plan for 6 months and you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Overrated or not, its made me actually start working my core that I havent ever bothered with. If I get a 6 pack, great, if i dont, wont sweat it. I usually only throw in a quick 5-10 minutes every few days.

Eating a bit over maintence, had lots of progress last summer doing what I am now. Was difficult to keep the calories up when I had school full time. Like I said, not that important to me, if it happens, it happens, if not oh well!

Thanks for the tip though!

[McBackup]

Because women are more in tune with emotional projection than men are. You can be a fat slob but if you have a good personality and project confidence women will respond.

Not really. Ugly guys with great personalities women love having as friends but wouldn't want to be with. And the whole 'confidence' thing is about looks as well. They're attracted to good looking, confident men, but the unattractive, confident men are the ones that get called creeps.

There's a difference between features that have no bearing on health that people find attractive (ie, hair colour, height, eye color, glasses) and traits that signify health in primal and societal senses

There's a reason historically majority of the people found balding heads, obesity, and assymetrical faces unattractive. It's not a matter of taste, it's thousands of years evolutionary programming that can't be undone by the PC brigade of today (thank goodness).

Except that's still wrong. I know some women who absolutely love guys with heavier builds because they're cuddlier and more protective looking. There are also women who love frail DYEL guys because thats what they see as attractive. Or bald guys, or whatever. Hell, there are even chubby chasers who are into the morbidly obese.

You're correct in that people look for a partner who seems healthy, however whats considered healthy and desirable looking changes from person to person.

[Intoewsables]

you don't buy that a person can be attracted to something that you don't find attractive?

Glassjaw confirmed chubby chaser?

[GLASSJAW]

There's a difference between features that have no bearing on health that people find attractive (ie, hair colour, height, eye color, glasses) and traits that signify health in primal and societal senses

There's a reason historically majority of the people found balding heads, obesity, and assymetrical faces unattractive. It's not a matter of taste, it's thousands of years evolutionary programming that can't be undone by the PC brigade of today (thank goodness).

we aren't talking about the majority though, we're talking about a lone individual and why this dude "doesn't buy" the possibility of a lone individual being different from the majority. obviously this is not a rare thing (hello, fetishists around the globe). i mean, obviously a beauty standard exists, but who cares? we all have ticks and quirks.

Glassjaw confirmed chubby chaser?

i've found all sorts of women attractive, but my ideal (or even preference) wouldn't be fat, no

[McBackup]

Outliers are still just outliers. What's considered healthy is what has scientific backing and it's been an enduring trend in terms of attractiveness for centuries. The majority will not find frail or puffy guys attractive

Thats not what I was saying. They were saying "No ones preferences deviate from the norm." Which I was debunking.

And you know what? It does change, its still very subjective. If you go to a third world country where there isn't much food, really fat women are seen as the pinnacle of beauty. The same deal hundreds of years ago. Heftiness symbolized resources and health in a time where most people were severely malnourished. Now here in North America with a McDonalds on every street corner the opposite is considered attractive. And there are always outliers. So while its true that certain things like posture and facial symmetry are somewhat rigid, they're not the only determinants out there and there is a lot of subjectivity.

[taxi]

It's biology.

Men show their success by gaining wealth, having status, etc...there are multiple avenues to succeed. Looking like the star athlete is one way. A successful mate will be a good mate for a female, because he will be able to support her and her offspring.

Men, on the other hand, when choosing a mate look primarily for fertility. This means things like small waist to hips/breast ratio, good skin, nice hair, etc...In other words, they want someone who is "hot".

[Buddhas Hand]

Correct me if I'm wrong but these two posts seem to imply to me that being physically attractive and being intelligent are mutually exclusive. In the real world (ie outside of middle school) not everyone is either a dumb jock doucher or a meek scrawny nerd.

I can say that since I started putting more effort into my appearance (lifting and excercising and buying nice clothes), I have made huge improvements in all areas of life as well. I'm more mature, I have a better job, more motivation, more friends, do better at school, and enjoy life more. I can't say that working out has caused these things (correlation =/= causation) but it is a symptom of better character and a more positive outlook on life. So I take offense to being stereotyped as "a mimbo" or a "beach bum" or a "waste of breath" just because I make an effort to improve myself.

Not that being in shape is the most important thing that defines attractiveness, but it will almost never be a disadvantage.

You are incorrect in thinking that my post implies that being physically attractive and being intelligent are mutually exclusive, I was simply stating what i look for { and found} in a partner.

[Buddhas Hand]

Did the title change? I think it did.

Anyhow my comment ^ missed the mark.

Women don't care as much because men don't set the standards as high in "selecting" a woman? Feed 'em a couple of drinks and they'll take the barstool home. That's my guess.

Not all men Deb , i set my standards very high when choosing the person i want to share the rest of my life with , i waited until i was 40 for the right one to come along. I wanted a partner that together we made the sum of the parts is greater than the whole,

Good things indeed come to those who wait.

[ronthecivil]

Hotness is a certain plus in women but I am more than fine with just being attractive. As in, I either want to have sex with her or I don't.

Now, if were talking relationship, as long as the women is attractive (and pretty much all decently in shape women with at least a nice smile and the ability to talk dirty will do the job) then for me it's all about personality. After all, you have to spend a lot of time with them. Or as I like to point out to women who don't believe that some guys actually value intelligence, I put it this way. "Well, women expect that if you want to have sex with them that you are going to have to talk to them. If that's the case, might as well make it enjoyable.".

Incidentally contrary to popular belief you don't have to make more money than your girlfriend. Of the two long term relationships I have had, one made a little more than me, and one made a LOT more (she was in fact a millionaire although she wasn't totally aware of the fact as it was paper wealth, but even her income was 50% more than mine).

And of course, this reminds me of a female co-worker (who being my co-worker was no bimbo) who when I met her husband I remembered that I knew him from university. As it turns out, he got a haircut only every five years (and he donated the hair to cancer victims who lost their hair).

So stop obsessing about trying to be attractive and develop your hunter roots and go and find a women that happens to be into the exact kind of guy you already are.

[Mainly Mattias]

Most women aren't too caught up about whether or not you have a six pack, more than you might think don't even care about weight. What they do care about is avoiding the ones who look like they could be in shape but have chosen not to be, this is seen as a sign of laziness.

It comes to the basic differences between men and women. Men generally have a list of things they would prefer in a woman, and seek out those who have those qualities. Women generally have a list of things they want to avoid in a man, and seek out those who do not have those qualities.

This is why negative attributes like being jobless or living with parents will have a much greater impact on dating than positive attributes such as having a fancy car. There are far less tire biters out there than there are women who refuse to date a man with no car. Similarly, there are far more women who will never be attracted to a man who looks like he doesn't exercise and eats poorly than there are women who only want to date roided out muscle freaks.

Men focus on the positive, they want the six pack, they think women are looking for the six pack (in truth, a few are, but not many). Women focus on the negative, they want to avoid the abnormally large belly, this is interpreted by men as a desire for six packs, but in reality most will like a guy with a flat, soft stomach just as much as a guy with a chiseled one, they key is that neither is an indicator of a sedentary lifestyle.

You want to meet more women. Quit smoking, buy a reliable vehicle, move out of the parent's basement, get a non-labour/non-fast food job, wash your clothes, avoid poor grooming. In short, get rid of anything a woman can complain about. Don't waste time with trying to be the ideal man, there is no such thing, the ideal man is simply the man who isn't a loser, and who doesn't have any obvious detractors.

Women, on the other hand, can have many negative qualities that can mean little or nothing to most men if they happen to have a few positive things going for them. Any woman with a great body can live with her parents all she likes, can be a smoker, can work a low paying job and still get all the attention she wants.

Interesting way of looking at it. Sounds quite similar to selecting employees. Looking for red flags/reasons to take them out of the running, rather than keep them in it.

Re: OP for the men.. I've been told that it's easier to get motivated for an athletic goal than a career or otherwise self-bettering goal. It's well defined, clear and if you can put in the work, then you can see results in the former, as opposed to the latter. Plus, the endorphins are addictive. It's uncomfortable and much harder to work on fixing looks, lack of social skills/personality, or job/money issues.

[Dazzle]

It was a joke. Looks horrendous imo

I like a six pack on a woman.

YES!!!

[Baka]

I like a six pack on a woman.

YES!!! : :D

As do I. It's not just sexy but shows a woman can commit to something she wants.

[Buddhas Hand]

Interesting way of looking at it. Sounds quite similar to selecting employees. Looking for red flags/reasons to take them out of the running, rather than keep them in it.

Re: OP for the men.. I've been told that it's easier to get motivated for an athletic goal than a career or otherwise self-bettering goal. It's well defined, clear and if you can put in the work, then you can see results in the former, as opposed to the latter. Plus, the endorphins are addictive. It's uncomfortable and much harder to work on fixing looks, lack of social skills/personality, or job/money issues.

I never made a career out of the sports { skiing / downhill MTB] that i dedicated 20 years of my life to but i was at the elite level and i received a level of support that i was happy with .

I totally support that statement simply for the fact that 99% of the time athletes are doing something they love and i would hazard a guess that this is not the case with a career or aspects of that career , e;g losing 2-3 hours a day in city traffic.

Doing someting you love most days of your life tends to make you a happy person in general and i would suggest that that people who are doing this worry less about such things as looks or money also being happy kinda cancels out a lot of the problems associated with social skills/personality.

[Mainly Mattias]

My former coworker was a bodybuilder. She competed in Figure competitions only though.. or was it fitness? One or the other. She had tons of male fans so you guys aren't the only ones who appreciate a 6 pack on women. lol. Personally, I don't know anyone else (male or female) who likes or would want a 6 pack on their SOs though.

[Lockout Casualty]

My abs are for me, and I'd prefer a girl does squats than sit ups. Dat ass.

That said, abs are like an extra inch on your penis, it doesn't make or break it, but you can tell girls like it.

[kazin!]

I'd like a six pack, but I'd rather just be leaner and overall happy with my body.

Six packs on women, now that's hot

What's even hotter than a six pack on a woman? Simply a flat tummy.

[Jimayo]

Not really. Ugly guys with great personalities women love having as friends but wouldn't want to be with. And the whole 'confidence' thing is about looks as well. They're attracted to good looking, confident men, but the unattractive, confident men are the ones that get called creeps.

Interesting. You should tell that to the young attractive women that keep hitting on me, an unnattractive fat, yet confident and self possessed man. My wife will be relieved to hear that they weren't actually dissing her by asking me out right in front since apparently that doesn't happen.

[Bruce Boudreau]

This wo

Nick Neave the evolutionary Physcologist wrote

Today's women "may be shooting up the career ladder and earning more than the men in their lives, but when it comes to relationships, men still hold the trump card," Neave claims. "I study patterns of behavior dating back to the first human societies and constantly analyze evidence that demonstrates the key differences which have developed between the sexes since men were hunter-gatherers and women were child bearers. Females are smaller and weaker than males, so, in prehistoric times, women and their offspring were prone to being the victims of predators and violence. They needed the support and protection of men who didn't just have brute force but also had social status in the group, either through their sheer physicality or the strength of their personality. That's why women still look for a mate of higher social standing. If a woman had a relationship with a socially dominant male, she would immediately get greater access to resources because her social standing would be elevated, too. As we shall see, modern surveys consistently show that women today ape [no pun intended?] those inherent characteristics by looking for partners who are socially dominant and have the respect of their peers, paying close attention to how men interact with, and are treated by, other men."

"Men have a different reason for choosing a mate," Neave continues. "The caveman needed to be sure he was raising a child who was genetically his. The best way of doing this was to secure a mate and guard her so she didn't get the chance to stray. A man's natural instinct may be to have sex with a different woman every day, but to safeguard his relationship (and secure his progeny), he has been forced into a pattern of monogamy. When couples meet at speed-dating events, typically a man will judge a woman on her looks and youth. His priorities are whether she's healthy, interested in sex, and can give him children one day. He doesn't care how much she earns or her social status. Typically, however, a woman's first question will be: 'What job do you do?' It sounds a friendly overture, but what she really wants to know is his social position and earning capacity. Is he an industrious, hard worker, capable of providing for her and their children? Because of his power, even the ugliest politician on the planet has women lining up to go to bed with him... As American statesman Henry Kissinger put it: 'Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.'"

Neave goes on to quote a study in which the researchers (from Syracuse University and University of Toledo) presented women with photographs of men. The first group, described as doctors, wore designer ties, smart shirts, and sported Rolex watches. The second wore plain shirts and Swatch watches and were described as teachers. The third group wore Burger King uniforms. Women repeatedly picked doctors as potential boyfriends — even though many of the men in the third category were actually more handsome.

Says Neave: "Quite simply, to women, a man's looks are less important than earning power and social standing."

Pretty much in general this is true.

Personally I want to workout to gain more confidence about myself and my body. Plus it is healthy and good for me and a worthwhile hobby over the long term that is better than watching tv or going on the internet.

The main thing is too not get too carried away because there is always gonna be a guy taller, more muscular, better looking, more intelligent, more rich and etc...

Like people have mentioned if you are super fit it shows dedication and discipline and if you show that you are more than just a workout junkie and have some other interests, hobbies and skills that will make you more rounded and appealing than a guy whose whole life is centered around measuring if he hit his caloric and daily protein needs to put on size or the opposite to counting calories to lose weight and try to get a six pack.

Bottom line is to just try to be better than you were the day before and measure your progress against yourself and not anyone else and you will be happier over the long term.