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Why is it considered selfish to be childless by choice?


Do you want a child in some point of your life?  

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Well, serious enough for you to reply twice in this thread. : P

Good to see another brother in this forum. May God be with you, always (Never the force). Do you think there is an official stands from the bible?

Here you go, this is pretty good

http://www.gotquestions.org/should-I-have-children.html

Also look into 1 Tim. 5:8 for the practical side of things (make sure you can afford the lifestyle for your family based on what you're making).

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Acronym police, technically, it's DINK - Dual Income No Kids.

There's nothing "immoral" at all about that.

Preferably a small puppy like a yorkshire terrier as well.

Yorkshire-Terrier-Puppies-For-Sale.jpg

And no, it's not immoral. It can be seen as that if you're religious, or by people with traditional views.. but there's nothing wrong with it. It's a matter of preference. Within my friend group, I'm the only one who doesn't want kids.

If I was to get kid(s), I'd adopt.

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This part: Kids causes so much trouble, all they do is cry, running around, yell or rude to other people is a statement based on ignorance and inexperience.

Was going to say this. The child acts based on what the parents will allow them to do. Establish proper conduct at an early age and they'll be fine. I've seen both ends of the spectrum in how a child acts as they grow up (sibling and nephew) and it's quite drastic the change parenting makes.

I see 'legacy' mentioned, but not bloodlines. A Legacy can endure even though bloodlines have ended. Those who've chosen to have children whether they know it or not, keep the bloodline of their ancestors going generation after generation. That being said........................

Exactly. Most families don't really have a 'legacy' to pass on anyways. Bloodline, or more specifically, the last name, is what concerns me. Maybe it's because I'm of asian descent and the family name is strongly valued, but in my family at least, heavy emphasis is put on continuing the family name.

Besides, there is a rather large age gap between me and my brother, so I basically helped raise him. It wasn't nearly as bad as the OP tries to make it out to be (though again, it will differ between families), and I wouldn't mind having to raise my own child.

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Bottomline is if you think for yourself(which there is nothing wrong with doing) its better to not have kids and you will be happy.

But if your one of those people that believes that giving in life is what brings joy in it then having children will make you happy. There was a study that came out that stated parents spend close to a $500K on their kids. Being a parent is basically a relationship where you keep giving and receiving(if you parent and nurture them they right way) which is the beauty of it. Your kids give back to you with each one of their achievements doesn't matter how little it is. When they do it, feels like you have done it. They become extensions of you. You become selfless to them, basically like you do when you first fall in true love. And like Einstein said "Love is the most powerful force in the Universe".

When I was younger I always used to think I was the first type but I realize now that I am the second. To find out what you truly are picture yourself in a rocking chair, you are retired, in okay health, basically waiting for death and you are 67 years old. If at this moment you regret not having had kids then your type b. If you feel that material riches and getting to see the beauty of the world have kept you happy your entire life then you are that rare type that deep down inside never wants kids.

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Exactly. Most families don't really have a 'legacy' to pass on anyways. Bloodline, or more specifically, the last name, is what concerns me. Maybe it's because I'm of asian descent and the family name is strongly valued, but in my family at least, heavy emphasis is put on continuing the family name.

We don't have kids and some people have said similar things, what about your family name. But in the end, who cares. In 3 generations no one is going to remember you or give a crap. Frankly, you and your family name just aren't that important. Just enjoy life while you've got it.

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A couple of things immediately came to mind.

I've never ever heard anyone suggest it's "immoral" to be childless by choice. It is just that, a choice, and I commend you for recognizing that it's not for you. But no one I know would judge you for that, so perhaps it's something you've perceived that isn't necessarily true.

I always knew I wanted kids and it's been the best thing in my life....not because I want little Mini Me's running around, but because I have a strong maternal pull and am nurturing. I think it is an amazingly beautiful thing to create a child, who then gets to enjoy a life as I have. If your parents had the same attitude as you....well, think of that as you are focusing on the things that make life worthwhile to you. Remember, you were once that kid running around crying and whatnot. So, to each his/her own applies and both sides of the argument are equally "right"...it's a personal decision to make and there is no right or wrong in it.

This part: Kids causes so much trouble, all they do is cry, running around, yell or rude to other people is a statement based on ignorance and inexperience. Children do that at times, yes. Often because of fatigue, excitement or just a way to express themselves when they haven't yet learned appropriate ways to do so. And it's more a reflection of the parents, not the kids. It's a parents job to attend to the child if he/she is disrupting others. But yes, kids are emotional fireballs at times....usually it's an easy distraction and they're fine.

There are adults who cause as much chaos and inconvenience. Kids on a plane are generally highly excitable and/or fearful. It is normal to experience some turbulence. :)

There is no expectation to have a child and I'm happy that you have decided not to, as it does not appear it would be the right decision. But others do have children as they bring absolute joy and a true purpose for living....just because it isn't a fit for you it doesn't take away that feeling for others.

Investing time and money in a child is the best use of it for someone who wants kids. The thing is, it's an ongoing process from day one and, if done properly and consistently, generally gets easier over time.

I Could not have said it any better myself.

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A person who decides not to have children is a failure to humanity

Thomas Malthus would digress with that but a person who doesn't have kids is likely to be unhappy after all the novelty of not having kids wears off.

There was this story on the news about a couple who had no kids filing a noise complaint because their neighbours kids were too loud. This couple wanted nothing to do with kids and hated the noise they made so they moved away from there after it was clear the complaint would not amount to much.

Their next house seemed perfect the day they checked it out but little did they know it was right next to a daycare. They had no idea because the daycare was closed the day they had their open house (it was sunday). When summer came around, they discovered loud noises coming from next door. The went to investigate and noticed what seemed like to be a pre-school.

They moved again. Don't know what happened after.

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Thomas Malthus would digress with that but a person who doesn't have kids is likely to be unhappy after all the novelty of not having kids wears off.

There was this story on the news about a couple who had no kids filing a noise complaint because their neighbours kids were too loud. This couple wanted nothing to do with kids and hated the noise they made so they moved away from there after it was clear the complaint would not amount to much.

Their next house seemed perfect the day they checked it out but little did they know it was right next to a daycare. They had no idea because the daycare was closed the day they had their open house (it was sunday). When summer came around, they discovered loud noises coming from next door. The went to investigate and noticed what seemed like to be a pre-school.

They moved again. Don't know what happened after.

Lol ridiculous

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A person who decides not to have children is a failure to humanity

So if someone has the self-awareness to realize they aren't suited to properly raise kids, they're failing humanity if they don't do it (badly) regardless? Great, that always works well when parents who aren't up to the task raise kids. The kids always turn out the be assets to society, right?

To hell with not having kids if you can't afford them. Reproduce regardless. Living paycheque to paycheque and relying on govenrment assistance to provide enough to feed your family is clearly better for humanity than living a reasonably comfortable lifestyle and supporting yourself.

Personally, I have a lot of medical issues that would make the stress of raising a kid dangerous for the health of both myself and the child. Every time I see a stressed out parent, I silently thank the doc who gave me my vasectomy.

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My aunt and uncle never had kids. They are 52 and 50, retired. and live 6 months on an island in northern Ontario than 6 months in Florida. They enjoy green herbs, drum circles on the beach, and week long motorcycle/canoe trips.

It is not an immoral choice, it is a smart one.

Not sure why it would be a "smart" choice, that would be relative to one's situation. If not having a child was a smart choice for everyone, you wouldn't be born. Although if no one did have a child, the human species would start to die off and become extinct so it is in the human genes to have sex and have a new born. It really depends on people's situation and some people are not fit to have kids, so maybe its a smart choice for them to not have kids.

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The only people who say it immoral to not have kids are the people who have them, and want you to be as miserable as them.

As a studio drummer, I get to travel the world and get paid to record music with great musicians.

As a self employed architect, my wife get to travel with me. It's a great damn life. If we had kids, it would ruin our entire life. Everything would have to change. Not gonna happen. How is that immoral? A bit selfish? Maybe. But not immoral.

Some people have kids and they are actually grateful to have them in their life. Although am not sure how your life would be ruined if you had kids since you've never experienced having kids. In fact, maybe it would turn much differently than you would've thought.

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Not sure why it would be a "smart" choice, that would be relative to one's situation. If not having a child was a smart choice for everyone, you wouldn't be born. Although if no one did have a child, the human species would start to die off and become extinct so it is in the human genes to have sex and have a new born. It really depends on people's situation and some people are not fit to have kids, so maybe its a smart choice for them to not have kids.

I find those are usually the ones that decide to keep having kids. They're usually the ones standing in the food bank line up pregnant with 2 kids in tow.

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Surprised that this is even a question. The stereotype of people that don't want kids is of overgrown children themselves, similarly obnoxious and selfish as the beings they hate so much.

I don't think people look down on the idea of not having kids as much as they hate childish superiority of some people that decide to stay child free.

I look down on it the same way I look down on people that decide to have kids in order to fulfill some selfish desires. It borders on narcissism when I listen to some of the reasons. Have you seen Young Adult starring Charlize Theron?

And you can bitch about traveling and self satisfaction through "living" all you want, but have the perspective to realize we are sexual beings who have created civilizations, institutions and infrastructure around the very idea of growing up in a nest and leaving it to build our own. Are you really surprised that when the essential need as individual members of our species is to pass down genes, and some contrarians decide it's not necessary, that our primal instincts find them pitiful? It's about as natural as a boner.

I don't really like the "the world has 7 billion people excuse" from a First Worlder who is currently consuming double or triple the resources someone in a population dense area would in the rest of the world. There is plenty to go around here for new life.

edit: also lol at the polls, I guarantee you 3/4 of the people who said no will have kids. It's like asking 4 year olds if they will ever get married, of course they will say no.

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