Does she like me?

[lmm]

I think I'll take the route of playing the mind-game, which I've rarely done before. I'll be able to experiment to see what works and what doesn't. It just seems like she's playing around with me anyway, so whatever.

Yep, doing it outright is a bad strategy.

Hmm, yeah, it won't. But, as Wild Sean Monahan said, it's about not putting your eggs in one basket. I'm not going to invest anymore time with her. I'm going to ignore her for a bit.

Posters here have reminded me not to assume the signs that you want to see, which is really good advice. It's really easy to slip in and just think that she likes you like that. So, without some other strategy, there's no 'clear' way to confirm.

yup I stand by my previous statement.

Here is a tip, try being honest.

[ronthecivil]

yup I stand by my previous statement.

Here is a tip, try being honest.

That's not as effective as you think!

I know, I do it. It's not much better!

[Dazzle]

You have not been friendzoned If she is using her BF is different than her in the way that they're growing apart she will likely want to use you to get out of the relationship. You will basically have to be the one to make them break up though. You are going to have to make the first move and not back away from it. If you come in confident and stay confident she will likely end her relationship with her BF; which seems like what shes to want to do. Once that happen you can either just frack her or frack her and date her up to you.

If you take a back seat and wait you will likely get friendzoned because some other dude will come around and do what I just said above you are going to be left with the scraps.

And don't worry about her talking about her BF a lot. If she has dated the guy for a long time thats pretty much all she will have to talk about.

You've been right. Don't take the back seat and I didn't. I've been as aggressive as I could possibly be, without overdoing it or being an annoyance/jerk/dick. I didn't encourage her to stay with her BF, yet I didn't tell her to break up with him. I did tell her how I felt about her, about how she is smarter than she is being given credited for (even for herself) and something along those lines, which isn't being dishonest. I said everything else but "I like you more than a friend".

I tried the "mindgame" - and it didn't work. She didn't respond well to that. Instead, she felt more timid/rejected. Not gonna try that stunt again. She's a sincere person and doesn't deserve that treatment.

What really surprised me was that the BF - now ex - had a phone call with her. The rest was history. At one point during our convos, I did say that she'd be such an awesome girlfriend, based on something that she did with her BF (before they broke up). Quite possibly, the amount of time that we've spent has led her into the direction that there's something more besides him.

There was another friend that's been with her on this journey. I think I currently have the edge on him (if he wants to go that direction), but that could change - who knows.

He's a nice guy but I can't read his motives on it, for the time being. I'd feel bad if I was in direct competition with him over her, because he made friends with me. Makes me feel like a dick. Bro code exists for a reason.

I know your the guy in the situation so you probably know it better than we do but your judgement is clouded by your feelings for her. Obviously as the readers we don't have those feelings clouding ours.

Remember if you like her even a little bit your mind is always looking for signals she likes you back. When your in love you want the other person so badly you believe they like you even when they don't.

I think it's time to tell my story. When I was in high school there was this girl, she was a year younger than me and for whatever reason, she always started class by looking straight into my eyes. She was always alone but was very innocent and pure whenever I spoke to her. At first I tried to ignore it thinking its meaningless but after a while I caught myself looking back into her eyes. We did this at the start of every class we had together. When the teacher walked in I always stopped looking at her and focused on my work. But she kept on looking straight into my eyes and many times the teacher had to ask her questions to get her out of it. Everytime we met outside of class she always wanted me to notice her and I tried not to. One day I'm like you only live life once and I don't want to have any regrets so I began to talk to her and soon we began talking in class and did projects together. I started to get attached to her. She did a bunch of other stuff with me and I was sure she liked me. It took me a while to get the courage to tell her how I felt about her. She then told me how she had just gotten out of a relationship and how she was scared to go in another one. She never told me earlier she was in one, she always acted like she wasn't with me. So I assumed. Reading all of that as an outsider and no longer having the emotions its clear it was never the case but when I was in it I thought the exact opposite.

Point is don't make guesses based on emotions and try to avoid thinking with your heart. It will save you a lot of pain. Trust me.

I don't know man... I'm in a more delicate place than before.

I've already gone on two "dates" with her - both of them have worked out well in terms of getting a feel as to finding out where she's at. In particular, getting approval from a friend of hers is a big deal, because her ex was roundly criticized from the start of the relationship, not to mention falling out of favor with her parents.

Appearing a day after her breakup, I believe I was a pleasant surprise, considering how close our families are anyway.

She's open to going out some more, alone. Still, I'm worried that this could all be for naught. I don't want to risk the awkwardness that will result if I misread her wrong, but the signs and everything up to this point, suggest that she feels the same way as me. Our chemistry is very good.

[SaintPatrick33]

Stage 5 clinger?

[Mathew Barzal]

Stage 5 clinger?

rofl.

[Alflives]

Here's some advice from someone who just celebrated 34 years of marriage.

Listen carefully.

Be yourself, and not what you think someone else wants.

Enjoy every moment together. It's not what you are doing, but who you are with that is important.

Accept, Respect, and Trust completely.

Allow for space, freedom, and individuality. Strong individuals make for a very strong couple.

And, of course, give plenty of expensive gifts! Chicks dig expensive stuff:)

[the last outlaw]

She was into you by sounds of it and you blew it. You never did mention or say if she's hot.

[SaintPatrick33]

Where is Dazzle?

[NucksCelts]

If I have to pass some test of approval by a chicks best friend, consider me gone. Are you auditioning for American idol? To me that just says she's not mature enough to decide on her own.

[SaintPatrick33]

Here's some advice from someone who just celebrated 34 years of marriage.

Listen carefully.

Be yourself, and not what you think someone else wants.

Enjoy every moment together. It's not what you are doing, but who you are with that is important.

Accept, Respect, and Trust completely.

Allow for space, freedom, and individuality. Strong individuals make for a very strong couple.

And, of course, give plenty of expensive gifts! Chicks dig expensive stuff:)

I agree with everything except for the point on expensive gifts. Materialism is a sign of weakness, meaning high regard placed on inanimate objects with an exaggerated value is not necessarily a humanitary trait. Diamond rings, cars, clothes do not equal love, and I reject any women who is simple enough to glean happiness out of these false values.

Other than that congrats on the marriage, and the focus on emotional bonds.

[Alflives]

I agree with everything except for the point on expensive gifts. Materialism is a sign of weakness, meaning high regard placed on inanimate objects with an exaggerated value is not necessarily a humanitary trait. Diamond rings, cars, clothes do not equal love, and I reject any women who is simple enough to glean happiness out of these false values.

Other than that congrats on the marriage, and the focus on emotional bonds.

And a good sense of humour is very important too:)

chicks do (really) dig expensive gifts:)

[RRypien37]

If I have to pass some test of approval by a chicks best friend, consider me gone. Are you auditioning for American idol? To me that just says she's not mature enough to decide on her own.

Agreed.