the last outlaw Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 Carlton has even had it with the Leafs LOL http://www.intrepidreporter.ca/sports//toronto-maple-leafs-mascot-asks-to-be-traded Toronto Maple Leafs Mascot Asks To Be Traded March 10, 2015TORONTO, ONTARIO - In an unprecedented move, Toronto Maple Leafs mascot, Carlton the Bear, has asked to be traded. After another lack luster defeat on home ice, Carlton threw his jersey on the ice in frustration. Nobody will do the wave because there are so many suits in the crowd. Kids are crying cause the team is losing. The game isnt even over and fans are streaming for the exits faster than Phil Kessel back checks, Ive had enough, I want to be traded to a contender. The news set the hockey rumor mill ablaze as three franchises, the Rangers, Flyers and Oilers currently do not have a mascot. However, hockey insider, Darren Dreger, confirmed that Carlton the Bear would not waive his no-trade clause to go to Edmonton. Ill do anything to get outta here. Ill take a dump at center ice and wipe my ass with Charmin Ultra if thats what it takes. Dreger confirmed that Leafs GM, Dave Nonis has set the asking price for Carlton at 3 first round picks, but then quickly volunteered to fill the mascot vacancy when he gets fired any day now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
avelanch Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 not sure if satire... it sounds like satire... but it's also believable... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tortorella's Rant Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 I like Carlton. Lets take him for future considerations.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
avelanch Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 I like Carlton. Lets take him for future considerations.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzle Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 It's satire. COME ON GUYS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theminister Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 He should have never left Coca-Cola to begin with. Bad career choice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RUPERTKBD Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 Holy Mackinaw! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
desiboynux4lifee******* Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 trade him for John Garret and Joey Kenward. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejazz97 Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 He and Fin would make a nice Marine exhibit at our games. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skolozsy2 Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 Not sure which is funnier....the satire of the article, or the grammar and spelling in the comments attached to that article. Good grief. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hatedkid666 Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 Wouldn't be surprised if it was real lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldnews Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 Nice piece of self-depracating humour there. Fans leaving faster than a Kessel backcheck....good stuff. I approve. He'll bring a better return than Kessel as well. My lowball opening offer would be Jason Botchford - I'd offer more, but Toronto tends to ruin it's prospects. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herberts Vasiljevs Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Raymond, Ballard, and a 1st! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeremyCuddles Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Boxing Hobo straight up? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyoung Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 I like Carlton. Lets take him for future considerations.. ya if we win cup they get our first round pick for the next 10 years Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
avelanch Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Nice piece of self-depracating humour there. Fans leaving faster than a Kessel backcheck....good stuff. I approve. He'll bring a better return than Kessel as well. My lowball opening offer would be Jason Botchford - I'd offer more, but Toronto tends to ruin it's prospects. to be fair, my deceased grandma moves faster than a Kessel backcheck... also, I'd throw in gallager. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RUPERTKBD Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 to be fair, my deceased grandma moves faster than a Kessel backcheck... also, I'd throw in gallager. I hope you mean Tony Gallagher... Actually, I think the word gallagher should be used as a noun. When someone says, or writes something incredibly stupid.... eg: "Hey, that was incredibly stupid. Maybe you want to try again. But don't worry, we'll give you a gallagher on that one." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
avelanch Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 I hope you mean Tony Gallagher... Actually, I think the word gallagher should be used as a noun. When someone says, or writes something incredibly stupid.... eg: "Hey, that was incredibly stupid. Maybe you want to try again. But don't worry, we'll give you a gallagher on that one." yeah that's the one, I don't mind that i didn't spell his name right at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldnews Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 to be fair, my deceased grandma moves faster than a Kessel backcheck... also, I'd throw in gallager. Check out this priceless example of a Kessel "backcheck" lol. yes, I'd throw in a pick if they'd take Gallagher as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sedins 55 Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 To Van:Carlton, and Toronto's First round pick in 2015 To Tor: SESTITO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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