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The Official TS Bless the Canucks Thread


babych

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Ok, biatches... Imma gonna start this again. TS - you better bring something special.

OH TS, we are in dire need.

TS, the wonders that you bring us are indeed bountiful.

Multiple wins, new and exciting rookies, and a playoff berth.

For these things, and many more, we give thanks.

But, oh mighty TS, we ask one more thing.

Grant our Canucks:

the speed to wear down their rivals,

the strength to smite their foes,

the deftness to thwart Hiller,

the will to resist early yet very accessible tee times,

For all of this and more, we beg of you.

Praise TS,

AMEN.

tldr; pray for a 4-1 Canucks win in game 5.

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Burn TS if the Canuck lose

If you need any ideas, I'm not saying you should, but:

Step 1: Find TS

Step 2: Take TS hostage

Step 3: Find a boat

Step 4: Find a lake

Step 5: Find alcohol

Step 6: Find matches

Step 7: Bring alcohol, lake, and TS to the boat

Step 8: Put TS in boat

Step 9: Drench TS with alcohol. If there's any leftover, give him the bottle.

Step 10: Use match wisely.

Step 11: Push boat into lake for dramatic effect.

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  • 2 weeks later...

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