Heretic Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 A thread for any kind of advice, though I'd prefer positive ones. Great advice....... A young lady confidently walked around the room while leading and explaining stress management to an audience with a raised glass of water. Everyone knew she was going to ask the ultimate question, 'half empty or half full?'... She fooled them all .... "How heavy is this glass of water?" she inquired with a smile. Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. To 20 oz. She replied , "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes." She continued, "and that's the way it is with stress. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on." "As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden - holding stress longer and better each time practiced. So, as early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don't carry them through the evening and into the night... Pick them up tomorrow. 1 * Accept the fact that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue! 2 * Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them. 3 * Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it. 4 * Drive carefully... It's not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker. 5 * If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague. 6 * If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. 7 * It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others. 8 * Never buy a car you can't push. 9 * Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on. 10 * Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. 11 * Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late. 12 * The 2nd mouse gets the cheese. 13 * When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. 14 * Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live. 16 * Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once. 17 * We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box. 18 * A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour. 19 * Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today. AND MOST IMPORTANTLY 20 *Save the earth..... It's the only planet with chocolate!* I THINK !!!! Link to comment
Twilight Sparkle Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 I AM THE GREEN BASTARD Link to comment
MikeyBoy44 Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 Is it ok to eat yellow snow yet? Link to comment
Baer. Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 Always check under the rim for toilet spiders Link to comment
Fox Mulder Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 Always check under the rim for toilet spiders Link to comment
LaBamba Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 That was almost as long as your jokes. Link to comment
jdatb Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 Your taste in advice is worse than your taste in jokes... Link to comment
Heretic Posted June 17, 2015 Author Share Posted June 17, 2015 Your taste in advice is worse than your taste in jokes... Link to comment
aGENT Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 Aaah canned sentiment in the name of advice for the slight of mind. Right up there with these guys. Link to comment
Offensive Threat Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 20 *Save the earth..... It's the only planet with chocolate!* I THINK !!!! If the multiverse theory holds true there may be a planet out there completely made of chocolate. In a reality this big all things are possible. Link to comment
Heretic Posted June 17, 2015 Author Share Posted June 17, 2015 If the multiverse theory holds true there may be a planet out there completely made of chocolate. In a reality this big all things are possible. So...your advice is to go ahead and do what you will with the Earth as there is probably a planet somewhere made of chocolate? Link to comment
LuckyLuciano Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 When in doubt whip it out. Agreed. Link to comment
Argon Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 So...your advice is to go ahead and do what you will with the Earth as there is probably a planet somewhere made of chocolate? Can you imagine how $&!#ty that world would be? No water, very little in nutritional value for foodstuffs, no feasible way to start a fire to keep warm, any sort of structure would melt in the sun, clothing is right out, and worst of all no way to replenish the oxogen in the atmosphere. If you want a world made of chocolate then count me out Link to comment
Baer. Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Can you imagine how crapty that world would be? No water, very little in nutritional value for foodstuffs, no feasible way to start a fire to keep warm, any sort of structure would melt in the sun, clothing is right out, and worst of all no way to replenish the oxogen in the atmosphere. If you want a world made of chocolate then count me out In this universe chocolate produces oxygen it makes sense if you don't think about it. Link to comment
Argon Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 In this universe chocolate produces oxygen it makes sense if you don't think about it. Oh goodness this is worse. If every singe thing on the earth created oxygen then the earth would have a hyper-oxygenated atmosphere. Our atmosphere has an average oxygen content of 19.5% at sea level, and a level of 23% is highly dangerous as it creates an enviroment ripe for fires/explosions with the smallest of provocations. Now take our holy-tunderin-jesus oxygen enriched enviroment on planet count chocula, and introduce the tiniest spark. I know, when everything's made of chocolate, gonna be as hard as Mel Gibson saying nice things about the jews to create any sort of friction to get some decent heat or sparks. But any sort of space debris coming into the atmosphere is gonna make for some kind of cosmic firework. Not to mention the now molten lava hot sea of chocolate fondue. I ruin all my friend's dreams too. Link to comment
Baer. Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Oh goodness this is worse. If every singe thing on the earth created oxygen then the earth would have a hyper-oxygenated atmosphere. Our atmosphere has an average oxygen content of 19.5% at sea level, and a level of 23% is highly dangerous as it creates an enviroment ripe for fires/explosions with the smallest of provocations. Now take our holy-tunderin-jesus oxygen enriched enviroment on planet count chocula, and introduce the tiniest spark. I know, when everything's made of chocolate, gonna be as hard as Mel Gibson saying nice things about the jews to create any sort of friction to get some decent heat or sparks. But any sort of space debris coming into the atmosphere is gonna make for some kind of cosmic firework. Not to mention the now molten lava hot sea of chocolate fondue. I ruin all my friend's dreams too. So? The chocolate beings that have inhabited their planet for thousands of years have adapted to the increased oxygen levels. Evolution disproves your theory. Also chocolate doesn't need heat. It prefers the cooler temperatures of Northern Chocostan. There is no space debris. Chocolate scientists have developed non-explosive anti-spacecraft defense systems courtesy of genius inventor Albert Fudgestein. Link to comment
Argon Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 So? The chocolate beings that have inhabited their planet for thousands of years have adapted to the increased oxygen levels. Evolution disproves your theory. Also chocolate doesn't need heat. It prefers the cooler temperatures of Northern Chocostan. There is no space debris. Chocolate scientists have developed non-explosive anti-spacecraft defense systems courtesy of genius inventor Albert Fudgestein. I was assuming it was humans who were inhabiting this chocolate planet, if it is chocolate based life forms then yes all bets are off evolution and science wise Link to comment
Twilight Sparkle Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 When in doubt whip it out. this really does work. when you whip it out, you get attention from everyone! even the cops! you know you're doing something right ;D Link to comment
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