Dating site horror stories.

[Psylocke]

why would u mention here? its like ur asking for it

Yeah canucks_83 is just looking for attention. Wouldn't surprise me if it was a dude pretending to be a girl...move along folks. Just delete this thread. It's just an awkward and embarassing thread. No offense to OP

Firstly, I've been around long enough to know that I will get hit on regardless of what I say.

Secondly, it's mentality like this that makes it suck for women. Also, it's thoughts/comments like this that falls in line with victim blaming.

One of the girls I know makes a new account if she accidentally swipes left on someone that she wanted to swipe right on.

Maybe if she continued to swipe left enough times, those guys will reappear.

Engaged, actually

Congrats!

I won't vouch for anything but Canucks_83 definitely seems like a woman.

And from the little that I know of Canucks_83, her style is not to attract attention. As I said in the above post, I'm one of the older posters that remember her.

Thanks, Dazzle.

Well, if I can request something, please don't look on tinder.

You'll find probably the worst guys on there that may seem nice - but really, are mostly douches. Then, you'll hate the rest of the other guys that actually don't have ulterior motives.

Not telling you what to do though.

Yeah, I've been so hesitant to swipe right. I don't think it's for me.

[Master 112]

You aren't missing out. Trust me.

Back in the day, you probably didn't need to be a douche to get laid. Nice guys were actually noticed.

I don't think your problem is epochal.

[Dazzle]

Firstly, I've been around long enough to know that I will get hit on regardless of what I say.

Secondly, it's mentality like this that makes it suck for women. Also, it's thoughts/comments like this that falls in line with victim blaming.

Maybe if she continued to swipe left enough times, those guys will reappear.

Congrats!

Thanks, Dazzle.

Yeah, I've been so hesitant to swipe right. I don't think it's for me.

I'd love to say that "I can't imagine how it must be like to be a girl" - but I can. You could argue that women are more empowered on that thing - because guys are not men on there. They are pathetic.

I don't think your problem is epochal.

How so? I think I was born in the wrong time period, to some extent.

[Master 112]

How so? I think I was born in the wrong time period, to some extent.

I mean that there was never a time where women would go out hoping to court 'nice guys' who are only that. Nothing changed with the advent of commercialized internet, smartphones, dating applications and a different youth culture.

Most people are pretty ok, admit it or not. 'Nice guys' is a tautology. Who isn't nice? I consider it a weird self-assertion people fall back on when they're unable to display somehow any other good qualities. People are complex and should be able to present with more than niceness.

[Psylocke]

I'd love to say that "I can't imagine how it must be like to be a girl" - but I can. You could argue that women are more empowered on that thing - because guys are not men on there. They are pathetic.

I wouldn't say that they're pathetic. But they all seem the same to me - outdoorsy, clearly has a gym membership, and wants to show off their hard-earned body. Good for them, but doesn't tell me much about them as a person.

Or maybe I'm just not ready to date again yet. LOL

[Dazzle]

I mean that there was never a time where women would go out hoping to court 'nice guys' who are only that. Nothing changed with the advent of commercialized internet, smartphones, dating applications and a different youth culture.

Most people are pretty ok, admit it or not. 'Nice guys' is a tautology. Who isn't nice? I consider it a weird self-assertion people fall back on when they're unable to display somehow any other good qualities. People are complex and should be able to present with more than niceness.

There is a difference between perceived 'niceness' and genuine 'niceness'. Most people are perceived to be nice. For an ease of discussion, we will keep those categories as they are, but I will try and explain the differences between the two.

Douches that make the rest of the guys look bad play the 'nice guy' card. That is, the nice guy will be polite and respectful, among other things. That is perceived 'niceness'. It's something general. I should clarify that there is no definite look for a douche.

It's really not that hard to be polite and respectful - yet douches, when they reveal themselves to be what they are, cannot do that in the long-run. They rely on superficial charm - that charm is what keeps women around. Call it 'game' if you like, but I think it's because some women are immature in their mindset.

What "nice guys" have is 'genuine niceness'. Some things are: Helping someone pick up something near them; letting/asking an elderly person or anyone who has his/her hands full of stuff to sit down; but not limited to that. It's a crude definition, but I do believe that you'll see a person's character within 5 minutes of talking to them - and their actions.

Men usually are better at picking up bull from other men than women do. That doesn't require a man to be a bullter to know it. There's a general, if not elementary, understanding of each other than women don't really understand (and likewise, we won't fully understand women either).

I should say that I'm pretty decent at picking up stuff from people but I'm far from perfect on it. I still misjudge people quite a bit. I tend to think of them as bad first and realize later on that they are good.

I really think that there's a lot of women out there that are really immature (as there are a lot of women out there that are mature). They willingly let themselves get picked up by the guys.

I'm disgusted by the superficial charm - rather than genuine charm. I'm not surprised that men are starting to not be able to tell the difference.

[Dazzle]

I wouldn't say that they're pathetic. But they all seem the same to me - outdoorsy, clearly has a gym membership, and wants to show off their hard-earned body. Good for them, but doesn't tell me much about them as a person.

Or maybe I'm just not ready to date again yet. LOL

I say they're pathetic because when another guy reads what another guy says, we'll think "Oh gawd. That's cheesy".

I have nothing against courting someone - but when it's so blatant that he wants to &^@# her - and she thinks he's 'being nice'. That's where I take issue.

[Psylocke]

I say they're pathetic because when another guy reads what another guy says, we'll think "Oh gawd. That's cheesy".

I have nothing against courting someone - but when it's so blatant that he wants to frack her - and she thinks he's 'being nice'. That's where I take issue.

I don't like a guy that's too smooth and overly flirty anyway.

[Nucks4theCup.]

Firstly, I've been around long enough to know that I will get hit on regardless of what I say.

Secondly, it's mentality like this that makes it suck for women. Also, it's thoughts/comments like this that falls in line with victim blaming.

lets not get melodramatic here m'lady, there are no victims here in this situation. move on.

I don't think your problem is epochal.

/r/niceguys copy pasta alert

[-DLC-]

lets not get melodramatic here m'lady, there are no victims here in this situation. move on.

Although 83 is a confident, wise young woman and by way of that is more than equipped to handle this herself, I've just got to chime in.

Without derailing this too much (although that could be a good thing?)...a simple comment by a woman saying she's coming out of a relationship is NOT worthy of "you're asking for it". And "move on"? Yes, please do because your comments are sexist and unwelcome. I've deleted one, but you need to tune that in now. It's highly inappropriate in this day and age and the double standard you're demonstrating is hypocritical.

So what if she is making it known she's out of a relationship? It's not a negative thing and that's where the mindset needs some adjusting. It does not make a female a bad person because she is making it known that she is available and looking...it makes her human. However, those that have a problem with it likely need to explore that end of things and their own issues related to it.

Asking for what? With one simple statement? Nope.

Honestly, we're out of the dark ages and women are not "asking for" anything when they join in to a discussion. They're participating, that's all. It's kind of disturbing that there are still those who interpret simple dialogue as anything more. And no one has a right to decipher that a woman person "is asking" for or wants anything except her them. That's rule number in fair and respectable treatment of other human beings.

/rant

[Nucks4theCup.]

Asking for what? With one simple statement? Nope.

attention

with that simple statement? yes.

[Shift-4]

Not enough plusses for Deb

And the idiots around here wonder why more females don't join this site.

And when we have a woman here that does take a stand on things the little boys get all pissy about it. lol

I hope it all works out for Canuck83.

[-DLC-]

attention

with that simple statement? yes.

That's seriously disturbing that you feel that way. AND that you openly admit it.

So if you come on here and say "hey, I got a new car" does that mean you're inviting everyone to drive it?

I found your last (deleted) comment offensive, but simply removed it. I find the fact that it's actually your mindset very concerning.

[Höglander87]

That's seriously disturbing that you feel that way. AND that you openly admit it.

So if you come on here and say "hey, I got a new car" does that mean you're inviting everyone to drive it?

I found your last (deleted) comment offensive, but simply removed it. I find the fact that it's actually your mindset very concerning.

Car and tinder are completely different things

[Nucks4theCup.]

That's seriously disturbing that you feel that way. AND that you openly admit it.

So if you come on here and say "hey, I got a new car" does that mean you're inviting everyone to drive it?

I found your last (deleted) comment offensive, but simply removed it. I find the fact that it's actually your mindset very concerning.

k.

i have no mindset, just said in that comment women like casual sex as much as me with no regrets. sorry that bothers you. i don't want to fight.

[-DLC-]

Car and tinder are completely different things

As are: "I'm no longer in a relationship" and "asking for it". Thanks for helping to make my point.

[-DLC-]

k.

i have no mindset, just said in that comment women like casual sex as much as me with no regrets. sorry that bothers you. i don't want to fight.

Nope:

its the only way your bro right here gets more action than couples in their sixties

go for the fat ones if you need to pump and dump on tinder. they are just as thirsty

There may be a reason you're not having much success in finding someone. Try to treat others with respect and dignity.

I'm not here to fight either, but I am here to moderate. And I've done so rather leniently with you but your act is wearing thin now. Move on.

[Nucks4theCup.]

Nope:

There may be a reason you're not having much success in finding someone. Try to treat others with respect and dignity (first).

I'm not here to fight either, but I am here to moderate. And I've done so rather leniently with you but your act is wearing thin now. Move on.

pump and dump = casual sex

thirsty = just as based as me

i understand it was crude, and you're the moderator. its your duty.

the self-righteous indignation though is unnecessary from the later posts. that's just me.

[aGENT]

I wouldn't say that they're pathetic. But they all seem the same to me - outdoorsy, clearly has a gym membership, and wants to show off their hard-earned body. Good for them, but doesn't tell me much about them as a person.

Or maybe I'm just not ready to date again yet. LOL

Sounds to me like you're just looking for a real, non superficial relationship with a real man and not an emotionally stunted boy.

Sadly, from what I recall, the greater Vancouver dating/clubbing/bar etc scene is FULL of superficial people of both sexes.

There's real men out there but they're a lot harder to find and you probably won't find them on Tinder or POF FWIW. They both seem great for sewing oats though...

As for my horror story, I met my now (lovely, sweet) wife and mother of two adorable children on a dating site (not POF and Tinder didn't exist yet). It doesn't get any scarier than that!

[Master 112]

dharmendra doesn't speak English as a first language so i think there might have been a misunderstanding somewhere.

There is a difference between perceived 'niceness' and genuine 'niceness'. Most people are perceived to be nice. For an ease of discussion, we will keep those categories as they are, but I will try and explain the differences between the two.

Douches that make the rest of the guys look bad play the 'nice guy' card. That is, the nice guy will be polite and respectful, among other things. That is perceived 'niceness'. It's something general. I should clarify that there is no definite look for a douche.

It's really not that hard to be polite and respectful - yet douches, when they reveal themselves to be what they are, cannot do that in the long-run. They rely on superficial charm - that charm is what keeps women around. Call it 'game' if you like, but I think it's because some women are immature in their mindset.

What "nice guys" have is 'genuine niceness'. Some things are: Helping someone pick up something near them; letting/asking an elderly person or anyone who has his/her hands full of stuff to sit down; but not limited to that. It's a crude definition, but I do believe that you'll see a person's character within 5 minutes of talking to them - and their actions.

Men usually are better at picking up bull from other men than women do. That doesn't require a man to be a bullter to know it. There's a general, if not elementary, understanding of each other than women don't really understand (and likewise, we won't fully understand women either).

I should say that I'm pretty decent at picking up stuff from people but I'm far from perfect on it. I still misjudge people quite a bit. I tend to think of them as bad first and realize later on that they are good.

I really think that there's a lot of women out there that are really immature (as there are a lot of women out there that are mature). They willingly let themselves get picked up by the guys.

I'm disgusted by the superficial charm - rather than genuine charm. I'm not surprised that men are starting to not be able to tell the difference.

oh.

i'm not sure what I was trying to say anymore, but no-one's obligated to have relations with you.