The Bookie Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 Quote TORONTO - A group of Syrian refugees are being lauded for assimilating so quickly into Canadian culture after they immediately identified and lambasted all of the things that suck about Toronto. “God, could this place be trying any harder?” said Qamar Barakat, as she took her first ever steps in Canada. “Y’know, most culturally relevant metropolises don’t feel the need to spend half their time screaming about how culturally relevant they are.” There had been much debate about whether Canada should expect Syrian refugees to embrace the nation’s pluralistic values, specifically that all people, no matter their race or religion, can hate Toronto in any way they please. Luckily, it seems that most are already enthusiastically joining in. “I’ve hidden in bombed-out cars that were better maintained than this so called ‘mass-transit system’,” said Adnan Javed, who was already preparing to move to Montreal or Vancouver. “The bombed-out car would probably move faster too.” The refugees arrived at Pearson Airport, known to be the best place in Toronto as it can get you as far away as possible, earlier today. Representatives from the federal government were on hand to offer their sympathies to these heroic refugees who have been forced to live in such a horrifyingly abject region, especially right after escaping Syria. “I was welcoming our Syrian brothers and sisters and I had a chance to speak to a young boy named Marwan,” said Immigration Minister John McCallum. “He was very shy at first, but eventually he asked me how a city that has only had 14 city councilors of colour in the last 180 years could have the balls to consider itself a multicultural utopia. Also, he wanted to thank the Leafs for continuing to be a flaming disaster. He says it reminds him of home.” “Hell, that little boy might be more Canadian than I am,” added McCallum. At press time, Torontonians were also talking about how much they hate Toronto as if that didn’t make them even more insufferable. http://www.thebeaverton.com/national/item/2277-syrian-refugees-successfully-integrate-into-canadian-culture-already-hate-toronto (and yes, it is satire, but I didn't see any thread to celebrate the first plane load of 'fugees coming in last night) http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/canadian-military-flight-brings-canadas-first-planeload-of-syrian-refugees-to-toronto/article27710746/?from=27708493 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coconuts Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 Good ol' Beaverton Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoGuitar Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 This is a feel good story at the appropriate time of year for such things. I applaud the sponsors and people who truly are "loving their neighbour as themselves". Love is the only way out of the darkness of our world. Kudos to Canada for not giving into the culture of fear but rather bringing light into the dark places of the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shift-4 Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 I fail to see how this is satire Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaimito Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 once they realized how bad the leafs were... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TOMapleLaughs Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 Niiice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr.DirtyDangles Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 44 minutes ago, Shift-4 said: I fail to see how this is satire Satire does always ring with a bit of truth lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr.DirtyDangles Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 These refugees must be thinking they won the freedom lotto : ) I hope they can integrate into happy, healthy productive members of Canadian society. Canada yet again extends the hand to the weary and oppressed. So glad to be Born in this country. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Bookie Posted December 11, 2015 Author Share Posted December 11, 2015 Quote The 163 people who arrived Thursday will settle in the following Canadian cities, according to statistics released by the Immigration Department: 116 at new homes in the Toronto area. Four in Windsor, Ont. Four in Kelowna, B.C. Three in Coquitlam, B.C. One in New Westminster, B.C. 20 in Calgary. 15 in Edmonton. A second flight is set to arrive in Montreal on Saturday. http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/syria-refugees-arrive-1.3360154 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Where's Wellwood Posted December 12, 2015 Share Posted December 12, 2015 1 hour ago, The Bookie said: http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/syria-refugees-arrive-1.3360154 I feel bad for the one person moving to New West alone. Not only are you a refugee, but to be 1 of 1 moving into a certain area. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tortorella's Rant Posted December 12, 2015 Share Posted December 12, 2015 2 minutes ago, Where's Wellwood said: I feel bad for the one person moving to New West alone. Not only are you a refugee, but to be 1 of 1 moving into a certain area. I thought we weren't taking single individuals? His/her family is coming on the next flight or something? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mainly Mattias Posted December 12, 2015 Share Posted December 12, 2015 Just now, Tortorella's Rant said: I thought we weren't taking single individuals? His/her family is coming on the next flight or something? Was just about to say the same thing. I read somewhere that it was single males not being accepted.. and that they had to be in families. Maybe a single female then? (Or that his/her family is coming on the next flight..) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Bookie Posted December 12, 2015 Author Share Posted December 12, 2015 I was wondering if the single person going to New West was the uncle of the boy who died on the beach in September. From what I remember he had a relative in the Lower Mainland, and she was trying to get the boy's uncle refugee status. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drummer4now Posted December 12, 2015 Share Posted December 12, 2015 1 hour ago, Tortorella's Rant said: I thought we weren't taking single individuals? His/her family is coming on the next flight or something? 1 hour ago, Mainly Mattias said: Was just about to say the same thing. I read somewhere that it was single males not being accepted.. and that they had to be in families. Maybe a single female then? (Or that his/her family is coming on the next flight..) 4 minutes ago, The Bookie said: I was wondering if the single person going to New West was the uncle of the boy who died on the beach in September. From what I remember he had a relative in the Lower Mainland, and she was trying to get the boy's uncle refugee status. From what I have read there's an exception to the no single male rule and that is if you're single and gay.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bertorama Posted December 12, 2015 Share Posted December 12, 2015 7 hours ago, The Bookie said: http://www.thebeaverton.com/national/item/2277-syrian-refugees-successfully-integrate-into-canadian-culture-already-hate-toronto (and yes, it is satire, but I didn't see any thread to celebrate the first plane load of 'fugees coming in last night) http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/canadian-military-flight-brings-canadas-first-planeload-of-syrian-refugees-to-toronto/article27710746/?from=27708493 Is it just me or does the joke seem not funny . Humility and thanks would be all I would say for letting me escape war and tierney. Haha Toronto sucks. ?????? Umm we just took you in as a guest to save your life. Im too touchy today I guess Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlphaHoneyBadger Posted December 12, 2015 Share Posted December 12, 2015 The dislike of Toronto will come... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alflives Posted December 12, 2015 Share Posted December 12, 2015 1 hour ago, Bertorama said: Is it just me or does the joke seem not funny . Humility and thanks would be all I would say for letting me escape war and tierney. Haha Toronto sucks. ?????? Umm we just took you in as a guest to save your life. Im too touchy today I guess It's not just that. I think we all read stories of humans welcoming aliens to our planet with open arms and signs of greeting. Then, they turn on us, making us slaves to terror. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scottish⑦Canuck Posted December 12, 2015 Share Posted December 12, 2015 11 hours ago, Bertorama said: Is it just me or does the joke seem not funny . Humility and thanks would be all I would say for letting me escape war and tierney. Haha Toronto sucks. ?????? Umm we just took you in as a guest to save your life. Im too touchy today I guess Who is this Tierney you speak of? Sounds like an Irishman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RUPERTKBD Posted December 12, 2015 Share Posted December 12, 2015 13 hours ago, Bertorama said: Is it just me or does the joke seem not funny . Humility and thanks would be all I would say for letting me escape war and tierney. Haha Toronto sucks. ?????? Umm we just took you in as a guest to save your life. Im too touchy today I guess I don't think you are. The whole "Toronto sucks and we should all laugh at them" is tired and in this context not funny at all, IMHO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RUPERTKBD Posted December 12, 2015 Share Posted December 12, 2015 1 hour ago, Scottish⑦Canuck said: Who is this Tierney you speak of? Sounds like an Irishman. See? Now that was funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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