The Canadian Posted May 22, 2016 Share Posted May 22, 2016 Sorry that the voice sucks, I had to record it on my iPad. It's not really much of a video, but atleast you can hear it. Hope you enjoy Link to comment
Putgolzin Posted May 22, 2016 Share Posted May 22, 2016 if you're writing, then you're thinking...if you're thinking, then you're moving in the right direction Link to comment
The Canadian Posted May 23, 2016 Author Share Posted May 23, 2016 38 minutes ago, nzan said: if you're writing, then you're thinking...if you're thinking, then you're moving in the right direction 25 minutes ago, babych said: I like it - well done! Thank you Link to comment
GLASSJAW Posted May 23, 2016 Share Posted May 23, 2016 wow i thought this was actually an elaborate troll job Link to comment
The Canadian Posted May 23, 2016 Author Share Posted May 23, 2016 5 minutes ago, GLASSJAW said: wow i thought this was actually an elaborate troll job How was the song though Link to comment
BananaMash Posted May 23, 2016 Share Posted May 23, 2016 A 500mL bottle of water divided 7 billion ways would give everyone roughly 7.14e-8 mL of water. Link to comment
KFBR392 Posted May 23, 2016 Share Posted May 23, 2016 It's pretty bad, but I think you mentioned in the other thread that you're only 12. It's cool that someone your age is even motivated enough to create it, let alone share it. I can respect that. If it's something you enjoy, you're only going to get better at it, and time is definitely on your side. Keep at it. Link to comment
AriGold Posted May 23, 2016 Share Posted May 23, 2016 @Kazmanian Devil @Lil B From The Pack @Caboose @Master Mind @Alain Vigneault "Water doesn't have legs and It can't go away" - The Canadian Link to comment
The Canadian Posted May 23, 2016 Author Share Posted May 23, 2016 21 minutes ago, AriGold said: @Kazmanian Devil @Lil B From The Pack @Caboose @Master Mind @Alain Vigneault "Water doesn't have legs and It can't go away" - The Canadian That's what the rich man said not me Link to comment
AriGold Posted May 23, 2016 Share Posted May 23, 2016 5 minutes ago, The Canadian said: That's what the rich man said not me This is fire bro.. Some minor points, don't force the lyrics. Putting 7 words into a spot that only needs 4 makes it seemed forced and can make it awkward. Also try to establish some flow to it, it's not all about the words. Pauses, interludes are all apart of it as well. Take your time and let it flow, don't force it. Link to comment
AV. Posted May 23, 2016 Share Posted May 23, 2016 The rap itself has an okay meaning (I'm personally not a fan of these "change the world/make a difference" type of songs - they mean well but come across as cheesy usually) As Ari said, the flow isn't great but that's due to your inexperience and you still learning much of what goes into the mechanics of rap/spoken word. Keep listening, keep writing, expand your vocabulary and vernacular, and sooner or later, you may be on to something. Link to comment
Lil B From The Pack Posted May 23, 2016 Share Posted May 23, 2016 Someone remind me to listen to this in the morning. @Spoderman @g_bassi13 Link to comment
Kazmanian Devil Posted May 23, 2016 Share Posted May 23, 2016 I admire your passion and confidence. Link to comment
g_bassi13 Posted May 23, 2016 Share Posted May 23, 2016 3 hours ago, BananaMash said: A 500mL bottle of water divided 7 billion ways would give everyone roughly 7.14e-8 mL of water. Link to comment
Spoderman Posted May 23, 2016 Share Posted May 23, 2016 "Think about the people in Africa who die everyday because they're getting dehydrated. Who cares, this is not Africa" Link to comment
D.B Cooper Posted May 23, 2016 Share Posted May 23, 2016 I see what you are going for buddy. It is alright. Don't let negative comments get you down. You are 12. Keep going and practice hard. Study other people lyrics. Read books. Expand your vocabulary. Feel the flow. It will all come to you eventually. If you work really hard and it, you will be swimming in girls in no time. And do us all a favour. Don't start rapping about gangster $&!# and all that nonsense that everyone is doing. Keep it classy. Tell a good story. Stand out with your lyrics. Do something different. Link to comment
AriGold Posted May 23, 2016 Share Posted May 23, 2016 7 hours ago, drummerboy said: I see what you are going for buddy. It is alright. Don't let negative comments get you down. You are 12. Keep going and practice hard. Study other people lyrics. Read books. Expand your vocabulary. Feel the flow. It will all come to you eventually. If you work really hard and it, you will be swimming in girls in no time. And do us all a favour. Don't start rapping about gangster $&!# and all that nonsense that everyone is doing. Keep it classy. Tell a good story. Stand out with your lyrics. Do something different. I would rather he raps like the Crip who is White, his name is White.. Apparently this guy is really hard in the streets.. Link to comment
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