What's the point of living?

[Apricot]

Hello CDC

 

I made this my status because I was confused if it was appropriate to ask the site. If its allowed, then great. If its not then go ahead mods and delete it. This is my status at the moment:

 

 

I wanted to know all your guys' opinion. My friend is going through a lot right now and she asked me: "What's the point of living when we're all going to die anyways?" I've always been good at the advice, but I just froze here. I didn't really know what to say. I don't know any of you people, so I think that's the why I'm asking you all. Because I want an opinion of someone that doesn't know me or my friend. Again, apologies if this isn't appropriate. 

 

 

 

Please give actual meaningful answers. She's in Seattle at the moment and I didn't really have enough time to give her an actual response. I'll have a chance to reply back to her later on tonight. 

 

 

Thanks all

[LuckyLuciano]

Lack of excitement in her life probably caused her to ask that question. I'd highly suggest she see a medical practitioner as she could have a chemical imbalance. 

 

We've always been taught to try to live as long as possible. If you're having a good time, why would you want to die?

[Art Vandelay]

It's unique to everyone. As is should be.

 

For me, it's to leave the people I love (and hopefully the world) in a better place when I leave, than it was when I arrived. I work a lot with the community, and I make sure to always do something significant for someone everyday.

 

There is not one thing to live for, but I'd like to say finding ones purpose is a great part about life. However hard it is or how long it takes to find that...It has been worth it for me.

[Fanuck]

Your friend likely didn't always feel this way.

 

Ask her to think back to a time when she wasn't thinking 'what's the point' and try to identify what's changed in her life /world, then go from there.

 

To ask others what the point is,  ironically, seems pointless imo because it's different for everyone. 

 

Good luck. 

[Aircool]

Unfortunately, the pragmatic answer is that there isn't really a "point".... At some point the human race will go extinct. Everything we accomplish in our lives no matter how significant will ultimately have no impact.

 

Realistically though, what's the "point" of dying. If you look at the point of life from the perspective that we are looking at it from, there really isn't any "point" in favour of dying over living.... So really at the end of the day, your friend requires a change in perspective.

 

I disagree that it's pointless to ask others what the point of life is... At the end of the day, it's about fulfilling your personal desires, and asking people this question would reveal that fact. Our desires are USUALLY attached to what we enjoy doing, or what we seek to become, if your friend isn't making progress on that... Maybe she needs to make some changes in her life... Because there really is no "point" leading an unfulfilling life.... and the world won't change for you.

[Apricot]

7 minutes ago, LuckyLuciano said:

Lack of excitement in her life probably caused her to ask that question. I'd highly suggest she see a medical practitioner as she could have a chemical imbalance. 

 

We've always been taught to try to live as long as possible. If you're having a good time, why would you want to die?

What if she's not having a good time tho? That is what she told me before asking me that question. She said that she's not happy, and whats the point in living. 

[Apricot]

12 minutes ago, Art Vandelay said:

It's unique to everyone. As is should be.

 

For me, it's to leave the people I love (and hopefully the world) in a better place when I leave, than it was when I arrived. I work a lot with the community, and I make sure to always do something significant for someone everyday.

 

There is not one thing to live for, but I'd like to say finding ones purpose is a great part about life. However hard it is or how long it takes to find that...It has been worth it for me.

I love this, that's really good man. I'm glad you found your purpose in life. I'll tell her what you've said tonight, it's really good. The feeling like you've changed someones life kind of. 

[Apricot]

14 minutes ago, Fanuck said:

Your friend likely didn't always feel this way.

 

Ask her to think back to a time when she wasn't thinking 'what's the point' and try to identify what's changed in her life /world, then go from there.

 

To ask others what the point is,  ironically, seems pointless imo because it's different for everyone. 

 

Good luck. 

I didn't think of it like that. I'm the go-to person for advice for a lot of family and friends. So this is kind of hard for me to be stuck on. Cause any other problems they're having, I usually get the answer and make them feel better really quickly. 

 

She's always been the cheery type person, so its weird hearing these things from her. But everyone has issues, some just hide it better. Yeah I'll ask her to think back and try to see when it all changed. I actually asked that question to a cousin when she was talking about problems with her husband and they managed to fix it and they're still together. 

[hsedin33]

The unstoppable force of life brought you here to experience it briefly. Life isn't all rainbows and sunshine, it's up and downs, lefts and rights, then you pass back into the space where you came from. If there was a point in living, it would be to embrace life in its fullest, to be everything you are, large or small, then to pass away with a little wink and smile on your face.

[GLASSJAW]

damn! a girl in existential angst is my fav kind of girl

 

is she single? 

 

no point to anything. she just needs to find a career or a hobby that provides her with adequate distractions. create a blog, become a fitness freak, practice an instrument, practice cooking. create goals. create a target, and then aim for it. that's really the best you can do.

 

she could have kids, which are the ultimate distraction and leaves people feeling all sorts of hilarious levels of self-importance. 

[Odd.]

She must be feeling the downs because that's quite deep to be saying that. Maybe take note of her actions or take note on how she speaks/her tone.

 

Not saying she's suicidal, but that's kind of what depressed/suicidal people think.  She should get some help. People who think like that need x2 the care and love.

 

Again, she could be saying that because she's just frustrated, going through a moment where she is confused, etc. I ain't no psychiatrist, but it doesn't take one to know that the question above is rather peculiar.

 

In every person, there's a different perspective of the point of living. But nobody as far as I know would actually think to themselves straight up and ask that question What is the point of living. I think we all might've said it at some point when we've been depressed, confused, angry, cheated on etc just for the sake of saying it, but surely nobody actually CONSIDERS that unless you're absolutely depressed, suicidal, psychotic, hurt, anything among those lines in which case it's obvious that the person needs immediate help. 

 

9 minutes ago, Apricot said:

What if she's not having a good time tho? That is what she told me before asking me that question. She said that she's not happy, and whats the point in living. 

Went for a break after I finished the above, when I came back saw a few replies, and saw this quote.

 

If she's telling you that she's not having a good time (who knows what she means by that), anybody would tell you that she needs some form of help immediately...

 

 

 

 

[Brad Marchand]

The following isn't really an answer, but it's something to think about.

 

Back in high school, I read a novel called To Live by the Chinese author Yu Hua (the book was translated into English). In essence, it's about a man named Fugui who loses all his wealth, possessions, and relatives over the course of his life, ultimately being left with nothing. Even so, he chooses to continue living:

 

Quote

Yu Hua said of Fugui "After going through much pain and hardship, Fugui is inextricably tied to the experience of suffering. So there is really no place for ideas like "resistance" in Fugui's mind—he lives simply to live. In this world I have never met anyone who has as much respect for life as Fugui. Although he has more reason to die than most people, he keeps on living."

I realize it's not exactly an optimistic point of view, but hopefully it provides some insight.

[Stelar]

There is no real point.  You enjoy your limited time on the earth and then you are done.

 

eat good food occasionally, eat health most of the time, get some excercise, love your family and friends, watch hockey, bash people anonymously on chat boards, and have a drink or two.

 

its pretty simple.  

[Baka]

 

[Apricot]

1 minute ago, GLASSJAW said:

damn! a girl feel existential angst is my fav kind of girl

 

is she single? 

 

no point to anything. she just needs to find a career or a hobby that provides her with adequate distractions. create a blog, being a fitness freak, practice an instrument, practice cooking. create goals. create a target, and then aim for it. that's really the best you can do.

 

she could have kids, which are the ultimate distraction and leave people feeling all sorts of hilarious levels of self-importance. 

No, she has a fiance, just graduated university as a physiotherapist. Great family, so it's kind of confusing how she thinks this. Things with her fiance is going really well too, I asked her. So I could not be more confused here

[GLASSJAW]

1 minute ago, Apricot said:

No, she has a fiance, just graduated university as a physiotherapist. Great family, so it's kind of confusing how she thinks this. Things with her fiance is going really well too, I asked her. So I could not be more confused here

she's probably lying about something

 

either she didn't pursue her passion and now is dreading her career outlook

or she didn't marry someone she's passionate about

or she has no hobbies that fill her up

 

something doesnt make sense

[Xbox]

To make memories and be happy. When you're happy these thoughts don't cross your mind because you're busy enjoying yourself and creating your own journey. When you're not, you're stuck in a void. When nothing exciting is going on these thoughts tend to corrupt our minds.

[Apricot]

5 minutes ago, Odd. said:

She must be feeling the downs because that's quite deep to be saying that. Maybe take note of her actions or take note on how she speaks/her tone.

 

Not saying she's suicidal, but that's kind of what depressed/suicidal people think.  She should get some help. People who think like that need x2 the care and love.

 

Again, she could be saying that because she's just frustrated, going through a moment where she is confused, etc. I ain't no psychiatrist, but it doesn't take one to know that the question above is rather peculiar.

 

In every person, there's a different perspective of the point of living. But nobody as far as I know would actually think to themselves straight up and ask that question What is the point of living. I think we all might've said it at some point when we've been depressed, confused, angry, cheated on etc just for the sake of saying it, but surely nobody actually CONSIDERS that unless you're absolutely depressed, suicidal, psychotic, hurt, anything among those lines in which case it's obvious that the person needs immediate help. 

 

Went for a break after I finished the above, when I came back saw a few replies, and saw this quote.

 

If she's telling you that she's not having a good time (who knows what she means by that), anybody would tell you that she needs some form of help immediately...

 

 

 

 

I thought about that A LOT last night when she asked me the question. I didn't want to take the risk of not saying anything to her and next thing you know, poof she's gone. I know her tho, I know her really well and I know she wouldn't do such a thing. She called me before passing the border to Seattle and I asked her if she was feeling better. She said kind of, she wanted to sleep it off. She said she was feeling better than she was last night. Then she just said something to me, in a weird tone. Kind of to reassure me that she's not doing anything. In a weird way? I can't explain that. 

[Apricot]

6 minutes ago, GLASSJAW said:

she's probably lying about something

 

either she didn't pursue her passion and now is dreading her career outlook

or she didn't marry someone she's passionate about

or she has no hobbies that fill her up

 

something doesnt make sense

I agree and I'm trying to figure it out. She asked me that last night, so I have a whole entire day to give her answers to her question and try and get some more info on why she's feeling like this.

[thejazz97]

TBH I've just recently gone through the same thing.

 

From what I've read and learned, life really is objectively pointless, but it's what you put into it that builds both what you get out of life and what others get out of your life. Life is what you make it.