Dumbest Thing You Have Done When You Were Drunk?

[Primal Optimist]

Peed on kitchen carpet, which was at least green, all the while declaring that I was outside and I would pee on the grass if I wanted to pee on the grass.

 

I threw away the grass the next morning and mopped up the entire kitchen floor, under the fridge and under the stove included. 

 

Wife will never let me forget this incident. 

[smithers joe]

a bunch of us went to vancouver on course. one night my room mate and i, after some heavy drinking, we returned to our room. i poured myself one more drink but passed out before i drank it. when our wake up call came in the morning, the phone kept ringing and ringing. finally i reached for the phone, but grabbed my drink instead and promptly threw it in my ear. not my finest hour.

[Jägermeister]

Some British girl.

She was slower than a sack of doorknobs.

[Jägermeister]

I also kicked a hole in the roof of a hostel I was staying in once.

The hole was directly above my bed, and the hostel had a rather bumping bar downstairs.  Every time the bass kicked drywall sprinkled out of the hole in the roof and on to my bed.

I had to sleep like that for 4 nights.

[Jägermeister]

Another time I hooked up with some, lets say, "less than stellar" girl at a house party when I was absolutely tanked.  Arguably the worst I've ever been.  

Apparently I got so upset with myself I head butted a support beam in my friends kitchen.  Gave myself a concussion.  Left a decent dent in the beam too.

[Shift-4]

If you guys did it right you wouldn't remember what to post here

[RRypien37]

This thread has the potential to be great. 

 

Probably one of the worst early ones was end of HS when I passed out on a porch at a party, had a decent size gash on my head as a result. Woke up the next morning in the middle of a back yard. 

 

Passed out on someones car hood. 

 

Walked up and down over top of a row of parked cars, resulting in half the alarms going off. 

 

Having no memory of how and why I was woken up sleeping at some train station at 4am in Europe and getting thrown into a taxi taken home. 

 

Many more...I'm only in my mid 20's but it feels like those days are so far gone. 

[Mr.DirtyDangles]

On 2016-08-14 at 8:55 AM, Tre Mac said:

Started smoking...

Yep that too.  Stopped after years but still have mad cravings.

[King Heffy]

Hopped in a shopping cart and let my buddies launch me.  Flew about 20 feet.

 

Streaked

 

Got into a car with a drunk driver

 

Woke up to being ridden by what I can only assume was a relative of @Beluga Whale

 

Completely flooded the bathroom in my hotel room after taking a girl into the shower

[Bissurnette]

Got drunk on 151, that's all I'm saying...

[Nuxfanabroad]

17 hours ago, chon derry said:

i couldn't find the door , so i couldn't leave, so I'm stayed, and got drunker........................and drunker..............

So you've gone to parties..sometimes until four?

[Junkyard Dog]

There is a dance open cage in the bar I go too.

 

A particular song came on I couldn't help myself. I kicked out the two girls dancing in the cage already and danced my ass off to this one song. 

 

 

I literately had like 20 people cheering me on. I wouldn't be surprised if there's some video on the internet of me. I went pretty intense.

[Twilight Sparkle]

40 minutes ago, meh_wassup said:

Got drunk on 151, that's all I'm saying...

those were the days, blacked out, woke up covered in puke.

[D.B Cooper]

Broke up with my girlfriend because I was 'too busy living the rockstar lifestyle' as I put it. 

Made myself a snickers and chicken ceaser wrap.

Tried to fight a guy, he wouldent do it.  Some other guy called him a pu$$y, so I got mad and fought him instead.   

Continued on to smash some mechanics garage door because he wouldent fix my bike. (It was a bmx and I've never met him before). 

Tried to fight another guy in my front yard. 

That got broken up by the cops and then I woke up in the drunk tank.   Hahahahah

when I got home I had a group of friends waiting for me to tell me all the 'great' things I did. 

[ABNuck]

I forgot one of the lowest moments...a game we in the military used to call "pork the pig"...probably not very PC these days. The deal was you had to collect the undies and the guy with the biggest pair got the pot. I got the pot one night with just a story. The chick had hair on her boobies. That was enough for the boys (I think one guy even tossed)...they just handed me the pot. Crazy thing is, it was true. Not a proud moment at all.

[Sean Monahan]

8 hours ago, Junkyard Dog said:

There is a dance open cage in the bar I go too.

 

A particular song came on I couldn't help myself. I kicked out the two girls dancing in the cage already and danced my ass off to this one song. 

 

 

I literately had like 20 people cheering me on. I wouldn't be surprised if there's some video on the internet of me. I went pretty intense.

Roosters?

[Master 112]

I'm not too big on drinking/really any substance that isn't tobacco, but I did get very intoxicated while homeless in an effort to get arrested. (I wanted a place to rest- hadn't had more than an hour's sleep per day in a week.) I ended up on the ground not being able to coordinate myself somewhere just outside of the central library and that's when the voices started. :/ Anyway I got thrown in a detox place for a few hours and had my own mat on the floor, which was adequate. I ended up getting denigrated by the staff person onsite, but I'd do it again. Looking back I'm glad I wasn't charged with anything. That would not have helped my situation. #cleanrecord

[ShakyWalton]

There was a few... but this one stands out as the worst..many years ago when I was in my teens...I went along with my friend to Seachelt on a milk run..he worked for a major dairy and delivered there..the plan was to go drinking after his route ..stay the night at a hotel and head home in the morning...I must point out that we were just kids.. around 18 I would think...well..we finished the route and went drinking at the pub in the hotel we were staying at..we were big for our age and drank underage all the time....got extremely drunk and went upstairs to bed... I guess during the night I had the urge to defecate . because when my friend woke up in the morning he noticed that I did alright..out the window of the room,, down the front of the hotel...in the sink in the room and later a maid reported seeing me going down the hall with my pants around my feet....needless to say my friend was livid and had alot of explaining to do... to the hotel and his company...going home he threw me in the back of his truck with all the empty milk boxes and thats where I rode all the way home.....I did not remember doing any of this but it was ingrained in my mind forever.

[Junkyard Dog]

14 hours ago, Sean Monahan said:

Roosters?

Oh yeah.

[Sean Monahan]

1 hour ago, Junkyard Dog said:

Oh yeah.

 I think those cages have gotten the best of a few people. They're always good entertainment.