Jump to content
The Official Site of the Vancouver Canucks
Canucks Community

Messier's advice to McDavid on what makes a great captain


Slegr

Recommended Posts

"So what you do, is when you leave Edmonton, you play against a certain team in the finals and win the Cup. Make sure you injure their captain. A few years later, when they're financially struggling, you go to their team, become their Captain, install your favourite coach as theirs, have the GM acquire the players you want to play with (or get rid of the ones you don't) and coast for the remainder of your contract. Don't forget to wear a number that's been taken out of circulation! Make sure you have some pithy little clause in the contract that you can sue the team after for as well!"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"Well Connor. Make sure to play with pride, and when you can, stomp on someone's leg with your skate. That's what winners do. Hell, ask Milan about it. He knows all about getting players off their game by spearing them in the nutsack!"

 

"As well, you'll need to prepare for the day when the sports sponsorships dry up. I suggest aligning yourself with at least one potato chip brand, and possibly a hardware store."

 

"In the end though Connor, you'll grow to hate Edmonton for the miserable northern hole of a town that it is, and eventually ask for a trade out. I suggest going to a large American city, where you can pay people to shave your head, and other spots, for you, while you sip on Grower's cider."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

See Connor, the trick is to ride the coattails of a better player than you.  And when that doesn't work, throw the elbows and injure the opposing team to the point they can't function.  Worked for me numerous times.

 

Here have a chip

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 minutes ago, Warhippy said:

See Connor, the trick is to ride the coattails of a better player than you.  And when that doesn't work, throw the elbows and injure the opposing team to the point they can't function.  Worked for me numerous times.

 

Here have a chip

And with that one chip, Connor McDavid began a lifelong addiction to the salty prison of Lay's.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...