Jump to content
The Official Site of the Vancouver Canucks
Enter Search Term. Use arrows to navigate between autocomplete results. If no results appear, use Enter to do a full site search.
Forum Closure ×
Canucks Community
Forum Closure

BananaMash Scores the Canucks 2017 Draft Based Entirely on Player Names

BananaMash

By BananaMash
in White Noise

Recommended Posts

BananaMash Canucks All-Star

BananaMash

Posted
Posted

Elias Pettersson - The kid may have offensive instincts out the rear end, but his name feels like the Swedish equivalent to John Smith. From a name perspective, I really dislike this pick. There were some premium names on the board at the time, and I really think Jim Benning wasted an opportunity here. 2/10. While Pettersson's praying mantis frame is out in the garden catching bugs and scoring goals, guys like Rasmussen will be selling jerseys. Detroit model proves indestructible yet again.

 

Kole Lind - On one hand, his parents clearly have some sort of special snowflake syndrome by being "oh so original" and spelling Cole with a "K". On the other hand, his last name is very close to Lindt. Lindt makes good chocolate. 5/10. Could be better, but we are heading in the right direction.

 

Jonah Gadjovich - This is what I'm talking about. Gadjovich is the type of name that makes you think you're about to be punched directly in the face. Bonus points for looking like the David Backes and Ryan Kesler's 38 year old illegitimate son. Mayne Ryan skipped Kelly and said "hi" to David? Either way, 10/10.

 

Michael DiPietro - Woah there cowboy, shoutout to Rick "Sami Salo" DiPietro. Jokes aside, great goaltending name. Lets just hope he holds up better than his father (who isn't really his father) 8/10.

 

Jack Rathbone - Jack might be a boring name, but Rathbone is a creative last name that really works well. Bonus points for being able to call it a "Rathboner" when he fumbles the puck in his own end. Really find of this pick. We haven't had nickname potential like this since Errorhoff. 7.5/10.

 

Kristoffer Gunnarsson - I don't have much to say about this. His name sounds decent enough, but I'm pretty sure it's Swedish for "you could have probably signed me in a few years once I wasn't draft eligible." I'll admit though, I like the cut of his jib. His name is needlessly long and I'm getting bored of writing these. 4/10.

 

Petrus Palmu - Petrus Palmu potted a plethora of pickled power play points past plenty of proven pipe protectors. 10/10.

 

Matt Brassard - Could you be any more generic? 3/10.

 

Overall draft name score? 5/10. Not our finest work. What's your opinion?

Link to comment
joe-max Abbotsford Star

joe-max

Posted
Posted

Apart from Petrus and Gadjovich I'm disappointed. There would certainly have been some more intriguing names like...

- Urho Vaakanainen

- Kailer Yamamoto

- Ukko-Pekka Luukkonen

- Grand Mishmash, I mean Grant Mismash

- Lane Zablocki

- Jan Drozg

- D'artagnan Joly

Link to comment
BananaMash Canucks All-Star

BananaMash

Posted
  • Author
Posted
3 minutes ago, joe-max said:

Apart from Petrus and Gadjovich I'm disappointed. There would certainly have been some more intriguing names like...

- Urho Vaakanainen

- Kailer Yamamoto

- Ukko-Pekka Luukkonen

- Grand Mishmash, I mean Grant Mismash

- Lane Zablocki

- Jan Drozg

- D'artagnan Joly

D'artagnan wins best first name of the year honestly.

 

2 minutes ago, Glory_Days said:

How long did this take you?! :lol:

Longer than I care to admit. Hahaha.

 

3 minutes ago, Alflives said:

Taking the first letters of each pick's name, you can make a 75 point triple score Scrabble word.  That's gotta be a good draft.

Good point, I didn't think of this. I hope you get hired to replace DeLorme. 

Link to comment
Cramarossa Canucks Third-Line

Cramarossa

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, BananaMash said:

Elias Pettersson - The kid may have offensive instincts out the rear end, but his name feels like the Swedish equivalent to John Smith. From a name perspective, I really dislike this pick. There were some premium names on the board at the time, and I really think Jim Benning wasted an opportunity here. 2/10. While Pettersson's praying mantis frame is out in the garden catching bugs and scoring goals, guys like Rasmussen will be selling jerseys. Detroit model proves indestructible yet again.

Petrus Palmu - Petrus Palmu potted a plethora of pickled power play points past plenty of proven pipe protectors. 10/10.

The praying mantis comment made me snort :lol: "Petrus" is the name of an excellent sour beer, and I always love a good Finn so I am definitely on board. Speaking of which, 

 

58 minutes ago, Fanuck said:

Anyone noticed there was another Virtanen drafted.   I know,  no relation but.....

Virtanen is one of the two most common names in Finland. Means "Smith", I believe. Also speaking of Finnish names, 

33 minutes ago, Jaku said:

We missed out on Ukko-Pekka Lukkonen.

This really was a missed opportunity. 

Link to comment
Vinny in Vancouver Canucks Regular

Vinny in Vancouver

Posted
Posted

We could have had a whole slew of sons, but instead, we managed to get only 2: Pettersson and Gunnarsson. Dallas managed to nab 3! Here's the list:

  • Lias Andersson, picked 7 by the Rangers - not only did they steal our only Coach whose last name starts with a 'V'...
  • Marcus Davidsson, picked 37 overall by Buffalo
  • Jason Robertson, picked 39 overall by Dallas
  • Jacob Bryson, picked 99 overall by Buffalo
  • Michael Anderson, picked 103 overall by LA Kings
  • Drake Batherson, picked 121 overall by Ottawa
  • Kyle Olson, picked 122 overall by Anaheim
  • Jacob Peterson, picked 132 overall by Dallas
  • Sebastian Walfridsson, picked 151 overall by Washington
  • Olle Eriksson, picked 153 overall by Anaheim
  • Jonathan Davidsson, picked 170 overall by Columbus
  • Dylan Ferguson, picked 194 overall by Dallas
  • Filip Sveningsson, picked 202 overall by Calgary
  • Anton Andersson, picked 206 overall by St. Louis
  • Croix Evingson, picked 211 overall by Winnipeg
  • Matthew Hellikson, picked 214 overall by New Jersey
Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...