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[CDC: MAFIA] The Case of the Disappearing Radishes [Game Over - Town Wins]

Aladeen

By Aladeen
in White Noise

What Happened to Master Radishes?  

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Aladeen Canucks Hall-of-Famer

Aladeen

Posted
Posted

Welcome to Mafia: The Case of the disappearing Radishes:

 

It's New Year's Eve 2017. @Master Radishes is ringing in the New Year in London and is drunk down by the South Bank of the Thames River to watch the fireworks and listen to his favourite music: the soulful Arianna Grande. 

800px-New_Years_2014_Fireworks_-_London_

 

The fireworks start and as everyone looks up to watch the cascading flares of lights with the massive audience saying "oooo" and "awww" in unison between the thunderous pops and crackles overhead.  

 

Three masked people come up behind our beloved Master Radishes and throw a potato sack over him (pure humiliation for such a noble Radish to be seen in all things: a potato sack).

 

These three villains are part of the MAFIA.

 

The London Mafia has found the new economy harder to navigate than they once have (thanks Brexit) and have resorted to starting an underground Radish-sex trafficking ring. 

 

Now they have their ultimate prize: The very sexy and sensual: @Master Radishes

 

His capture has ensured that, for the London Mafia, 2018 will be a very prosperous year.... that is unless YOU can stop them!

 

 

General Rules:

 

http://cdcmafia.wikia.com/wiki/CDC_Mafia_Rulebook

 

No PMing (unless your role specifically allows for it)

Please notify me immediately if someone has PMed you about the game.

 

No talking about the game outside of this thread!

Again please notify me immediately if someone has spoken about this game outside of the thread.

 

Minimum of 5 Posts per round + a vote each round (Vote: No Lynch is fine) 

Please do not sign up for this game if you think you can't meet this very basic requirement. Ideally there will be subs waiting to fill in for slankers. 

 

Other standard rules Please read carefully:

Spoiler

1. One Game, One Account

You may not use an alt (alternative account) to gain information from players in a game you are in. You may not pretend to be two separate human beings. Virt I'm looking at you


2. Do Not Sabotage

You are expected to play to your win condition(s). Intentionally undermining your team is not allowed. Joining a game with sole intent to troll is not allowed. ("Bad" or "alternative" plays, however, are allowed, if you sincerely believe in their merit.) 


3. Do Not Directly Quote or Screenshot PMs Relating to the Game

You may not directly quote your Game Host, your role PM or any private communication with other players. (You may however, paraphrase in a way that leaves room for reasonable doubt). You may also not refer at all to any private communication with the Game Host, whether you are lying about this or not.

Similarly, you may not ask fellow players questions with intent to make them break these rules. ("What color was the word "Town" in your Role PM?")

Fake screenshots and quotes will be treated the same as genuine ones.

Game Hosts may redefine what is acceptable to quote.

4. Do Not Exploit Loopholes

You are expected to abide by the spirit of the rules, not merely the letter.

5. Do Not Discuss Ongoing Games Outside the Game

As long as a game is ongoing, you may talk about that game only where the host gives you explicit permission.

Simply mentioning ongoing games without elaboration ("I'm playing in Game Q") is potentially dangerous. You can severely compromise a game's integrity by adding a new and unwanted source of information to the game.

6. Do Not Share Accounts

You are not allowed to share accounts with other players during a game.


7. Do Not Make or Utilize Ciphers or Use Personal "Tells" to "prove" you are a certain role

All information in a game thread needs to be accessible to all players. Secret codes requiring keys are thus banned. Also please do not post things you would only post as a certain specific role (Example: Dral's TP Catchphrase)

8. Beware Flaking

Signing up for a game is a commitment. It is unfair to other players if not everyone signs up able to meet this commitment. You are expected to meet your host's definition of sufficient activity.  If you sign up for a game and then discover you will not be able to maintain a reasonable level of activity, you should notify your Game Host and request a substitution.

9. Do Not Edit or Delete Posts

You are not allowed to edit or delete your in-game posts, even if you believe it to be an innocent action (fixing a typo, for example). 

10. Do Not Deadpost

You are not allowed to post in the game thread after you have died.

11. In-Game Posts Have No Enforceability Elsewhere

Bets made within a game are not enforceable outside a game. 

 

Code of Conduct:

Spoiler

1) Treating others as you would like to be treated, is sometimes not enough. Do more. Lowering your own standards will not grant you the right to mistreat others. Treat others as they wish to be treated.


2) Forum mafia is a game between friends. Not all players wish to be competitive, and no one is required to be excellent at the game; that is an individual's right. Do not degrade your fellow guests and fellow players by calling them stupid or bad. 

3) Remember that while you are playing for fun, others take the game seriously. Please do not play against your win condition or play in a manner which is deliberately harmful to your side.

4) Treat each other with civility even if you are frustrated. You have every right to get irritated or upset with someone, but it is better to let them know that in a civil manner.

5) Treat each other with civility even after and outside the game.

6) Be considerate of those around you who have invested in Mafia. Do not spam, troll, sabotage, or be passive-aggressive. Do not threaten or otherwise provoke people. 

7) Play with a sportsmanlike attitude.
 

 

Nightfall will be 9:00 PM PST or as close to that as possible. 

 

Setup:

(13 Players)

 

Mafia Goon

Mafia Goon

Mafia Goon

 

Sheriff (Begins the game with a random investigation on one Vanilla Townie)

Vanilla Town

Vanilla Town

Vanilla Town

Vanilla Town

Vanilla Town

Vanilla Town

Vanilla Town

Vanilla Town

Vanilla Town

 

 

Game will start when we have 13 players...

 

Players:

 

1. Darth Vader Sidious Nihilis Revan Melvin 

2. Two One Zero Negative One

3. Bugle Wail

4. Blow Jay

5. Mike Keenan

6. Qweefs

7. Zfeltch

8. J69

9. Beer.

10. Etherwise

11. Slime Lord

12. g_rapey

13. Dralsack

 

13/13

 

Subs:

 

1. 

2.

3.

 

0/3

 

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Aladeen Canucks Hall-of-Famer

Aladeen

Posted
  • Author
Posted

@Two one one, @Beluga Whale, @Zfetch, @Time Lord, @ilduce39, @DarthMelvin, @J-23, @Alain Vigneault, @Intoewsables, @milk and honey, @Alchemy Time, @Blue Jay 22, @John Locke, @mau5trap, @King Heffy, @falcon45ca, @Stamkos, @Dr.Strangelove, @Dral

 

 

Let's get this thing rolling

 @Baer., @Kakanucks, @otherwise, @Peaches, @Qwags, @Where's Wellwood, @shiznak, @Go Faulk Yourself, @g_bassi13, @thejazz97

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Master 112 Canucks All-Star

Master 112

Posted
Posted
11 minutes ago, Two one one said:

In

 

@Beluga Whale do you still have that copypasta you posted ages ago that was basically a huge block of insults? I tried finding it but was unsuccessful. I need it for creative inspiration.

Found it!

 

You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. I wager you couldn't empty a boot of excrement were the instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you. Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly.

You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs. You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus.

And what meaning do you expect your delusional self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have to us who think and reason? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake? You are a waste of flesh.

You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed , drooling meatslapper. You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill.

You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away. I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on.

This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half-baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective.

True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known, that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.

You're an idiot. A moron of the highest order. You're so stupid it's a wonder and a pity you can remember to breath. Intelligent ideas bounce off your head as if it were coated with teflon. Creative thoughts take alternate transportation in order to avoid even being in the same state as you. If you had an original thought it would die of loneliness before the hour was out. On an intelligence scale of 1 to 10 (10 corresponding to the highest attainable IQ) you're rating is so far into negative numbers that one would need to travel into another quantum reality in order to even catch a distant glimpse of it.

Your personality is that of a rabid Chihuahua intent on destroying its own tail. Your powers of observation are akin to those of the bird that keeps slamming into the picture window trying to get that other bird it keeps seeing. You are walking, talking proof that you don't have to be sentient to survive, and that Barnum was thinking of you when he uttered his immortal phrase regarding the birth of a sucker. You are, at varying times, tedious, boring, and even occasionally earth shatteringly hilarious in your idiocy, routinely childish, moronic, pathetic, wretched, disgusting and pitiful.

You are wholly without any redeeming social grace or value. If God ever decides to give the planet an enema you'd better run like the wind because anywhere you stand is a suitable place for The Insertion. There is no animal so disgusting, so vile that it deserves comparison to you, for even the lowest, dirtiest, most parasitic member of the animal kingdom fills an ecological niche. You fill no niche. To call you a parasite would be injurious and defamatory to the thousands of honest parasitic species. You are worse than vermin, for vermin do not pretend to be what it is not. You are truly human garbage. You are a fraudulent, lying, predatory charlatan. You are of less worth than a burnt-out light bulb. You will forever live in shame.

You have nothing to say, and Godwin's Law does not apply when writing about you. You are the anti-Midas, for all that you touch becomes valueless and unusable. Mothers gather their children close when you appear. You are an aberration, a corruption, and a boil that needs to be lanced. You are a poison in need of being vomited. You are a tooth so rotten it infects the whole body. You are sperm that should have been captured in a condom and flushed down a toilet.

I don't like you. I don't like anybody who has as little respect for others as you do. Go away, you swine. You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, and a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon. You are a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. Meaningful to no one, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts that sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done.

I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I wretch at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, and the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell? Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. You are a waste of flesh. On a good day you're a halfwit. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.

You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away. I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, study, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.

You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libellous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystrophic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, abrasive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, and socially-retarded.

Shut up and go away lest you achieve the physical retribution your behaviour merits.

Thank you for your kind attention to and expected cooperation in this matter.

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Aladeen Canucks Hall-of-Famer

Aladeen

Posted
  • Author
Posted
5 minutes ago, Dral said:

If you get enough people for a bigger game, I'm in... not really a fan of the small vanilla games

Small and Vanilla reminds you too much of your penis huh? I'm so sorry Dral I should have been more considerate.

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