Dealing with Depression and Other Mental Illnesses

[Master 112]

11 minutes ago, Dazzle said:

If you're going to make a joke about a topic that is obviously more important to other people, you can go smoke that doobie and never come back.

They can scroll by my post?

 

How much of a prude does someone have to be to take offense to that?

 

e: and I legitimately have that as one of my diagnoses; I was in part highlighting how absurd our doctors/mental health system can be.

[Master 112]

On topic: does anyone feel like the attention depression has gotten in the media over the past bunch of years has led to other, often more serious, mental illnesses being overshadowed or not given their deserved spotlight? I wonder how much funding is going specifically to depression via private donors because of this that might otherwise have found its way into the research of, say, various psychoses and personality disorders.

[Mr.DirtyDangles]

2 hours ago, Nuxfanabroad said:

Appreciate your candour & insights, Kloubek. Gonna mull this over a bit, as the day's just getting started here. Typhoons..now earthquakes. Lots of people here in Japan today, with reasons to feel despondent.

 

Will add a little more later in the day. Cheers

Hoping your footing is solid and dry Nuxfan

 

I am betting if you talk openly with any person they will be able to tell you a few incredible life stories, especially Smithers Joe   After living with a mother who had serious depression and seeing many friends as well as my self struggle with it at times,  I will really only say this....  life itself will rapidly mold any per-existing mental or physical conditions into life long hurdles if given the smallest chance. Add an actual form of depression into that mix if it hasn't already set in and you will have a wicked game to play with yourself for a really long time.

 

 

 

[-AJ-]

3 hours ago, kloubek said:

 

 

It's an understandable point, but one from the perspective of somebody who hasn't had depression, because (no offense) you obviously don't understand it.

 

I do.  In fact, I've had it for most of my live since a teen and there have only been relatively brief periods over the last three decades where I actually feel normal.  I haven't felt even more than half an hour of being "normal" for probably about 6 years straight. 

 

Depression isn't being upset that you lost your dog or you are in severe debt.  Those are reactions to unfortunate circumstances.  You might feel depressed, but that's a normal human emotion to have. Just like being sad about something. But imagine having that feeling for weeks.  Months.  Years.  Decades.  It's knowing that when everything around you is awesome, you are still going to feel like crap.  It's not getting any enjoyment out of life - at least for the most part. It's existing, instead of living. It no longer is a reaction, but instead just becomes a part of who you are.  THAT is depression.  I could win a million dollars today and although there would be some level of excitement as a result, never would I think it would make me happier.  Honestly, that simply isn't possible.  I could have everything I've ever dreamed of both physically and emotionally, and I would still have a grey cloud over my head every.  Single.  Day.  As it stands, my life is pretty good.  I have a good paying job, a wife, a healthy 5 year old son, a loyal dog, a nice luxury house and I drive a Jag. And how much of that brings a smile to my face?  Virtually none of it.  

 

So believe me - there is actually a great distinction between what I experience, and what somebody who just got broken up with feels. One is a sense of loss or feeling upset about _________.  You can place it.  You understand it.  The other is simply being unhappy about living.  Being unhappy having to drag myself through yet another day of unyielding emptiness.  It doesn't follow logic and it doesn't make sense to those unfamiliar with how depression feels.  

 

Now of course, depressed people experience unfortunate circumstances as well.  And that only drags them deeper into the depression and makes it that much harder to get out of it.

 

Note that I want to address the fact that what I just wrote is about typical "uni-polar" depression. Such depression that has gone on for years or decades like mine can be called "Dysthymia", although Dysthymia is often interpreted to only account for those with chronic mild depression so the term isn't concrete.  There are also those with Bi-Polar or Manic-Depression, which combines the deep lows with feelings of highs and frenetic feeling which presents itself more like a roller coaster ride than uni-polar depression.  These people may seem more than happy at times and you could never believe they had depression but their lows are often really, really deep lows.

 

I feel there is still a lot of misinformation and misconceptions about depression in general, and while I am glad there is more light put on it and it is a bit more acceptable to talk about now, I am not sure there is a heck of a lot more understanding by those who have never experienced it. I implore everyone to take an hour and read up on it because the concept is really quite fascinating.  The fact that the human mind could cause one to experience such negativity even in light of so much good in one's life is truly astounding.  It's almost like taking an drug and having a mild bad trip.  You KNOW what you are feeling doesn't have a basis in reality but there isn't anything you can do about it.  But at least with a drug you know it will eventually wear off; like I said, with enough time, sometimes depression can be come all-consuming.

With this topic brought up, I'd also like to offer my opinions/experiences to anyone who wishes to know more about depression in any context.  My only request is that any discussion remain respectful and asked with an open mind.

Thanks for this. I've been feeling very stressed in the last year and I've had some greater mental battles than ever before, but this helps clear things up for me. 

[BananaMash]

Hey, y'all. Diagnosed bipolar here, and I've struggled with suicidal ideation since I was 13. I'm in a place where life continues in spite of the issues, and I don't talk about them with strangers much as my friends are beautiful and supportive, but I just wanted to say this thread is really nice. I hope it genuinely helps someone open up

[kloubek]

2 hours ago, Drive-By Body Pierce said:

I would fall under the category of both. Thankfully my son has not shown signs of depression, and I hope he never does. I'm terrified more than anything of him going through the same struggles. Having my father, his father and myself showing clear mental illness, I put a huge amount of responsibility on myself to sort out my issues so that I can hopefully help whatever path he follows.

I can relate 100%. I'm hoping more than anything that I dont pass this onto my son. If he can lead a happy life and I can help direct him there, thatd probably be my biggest solace.

 

A sincere "good luck".

[riffraff]

1 hour ago, 112 said:

On topic: does anyone feel like the attention depression has gotten in the media over the past bunch of years has led to other, often more serious, mental illnesses being overshadowed or not given their deserved spotlight? I wonder how much funding is going specifically to depression via private donors because of this that might otherwise have found its way into the research of, say, various psychoses and personality disorders.

Maybe depressed people are medicated and sent on their way while people hope they improve and don’t commmit suicide, meanwhile those with more obvious mental health issues are hospitalized?

[YEGCanuck]

In my limited experience I think a key is to listen to family/friends who may be going through anxiety, depression or other challenges. Their experience is very real and can be totally overwhelming and debilitating.

 

Providing a safe place to listen to someone is sometimes easier said than done. Some people find it difficult to open up about their feelings. My only suggestion is to seek out professional help. That being said I have found that in itself is easier said than done. There is no one go-to place to deal with mental illness or one simple answer or remedy.

[luckylager]

Depression and addiction seems to be a hallmark on my father's side of the family.

I go through both. 

 

I drown my sorrows, blaze away my burdens and stresses. Sometimes it just builds up and I run away from it all. But in all honestly I've been running away from myself for decades. If only for a week at a time.

 

 

I'd rather talk to a tree after eating a mushroom caps than ever talk to a shrink again

I refuse to be a manufactured victim.

Those assholes are motivated to profit from suffering anyways. "Here's some pills, see ya next week" 

Rinse.Repeat

 

I run to the forests, the ocean, the rivers, the mountains

I scream at the Valley below

To &^@# off and leave me alone

 

But it won't

It's always there and my problems with it never go away

 

I get back from my retreats

I stare in my childrens eyes 

I feel guilty for leaving them without a father for a week.

Yet I know I'm doing them a favour by leaving to chase my demons. 

Better that than to let those demons consume their father before those innocent eyes

Like mine did.

[Canuck Surfer]

I speak in a subtle daze sometimes.

 

Its the peace ant-deppresants offer. And I'm still grateful!

 

For years portions of my life spiralled, small items at a time, in the wrong direction. In the midst of an otherwise happy and productive life.

 

That suddenly was not!

 

No one moment momentous.  And I knew I was getting a bit stressed. And more so. Then afraid. Then my life out of control & hard to explain to people. And even then that they might not trust to listen anymore?

 

A little daze. 

 

And you don't wake up in the middle of the night with a dull headache. Or in panic. Then freak out at work. Take a day off and realize you have not really slept in weeks. Or for years. And had no days off, but got nothing done. 

 

Without, and I stress without any hidden meaning, the first step is often help. Which offers a good nights sleep.

 

My best wishes and all help to those, including myself, as they need it.

[kingofsurrey]

My doctor diagnosed me as suffering from Depression...

i had some serious health issues at the time... that really got me down. 

 

This depressed me though as i am pretty certain i actually suffer from some kind of acute anxiety syndrome.

Flushed the pills.... after a week.  Side effects bothered me. 

 

Oh, well.    I am dealing with my anxiety in my own way.   Exercies, exercies and excercise .with a lot of self talk.   I am another one that likes to hike / walk the local rivers in solitude......Doing better the last year. 

 

 

 

 

[Rounoush]

First, go see a doctor and get medicated. Then go exercise more, eat healthier and challenge yourself. These are the things I did and (for the most part) I am doing much better these days.

[kloubek]

3 minutes ago, Rounoush said:

First, go see a doctor and get medicated. Then go exercise more, eat healthier and challenge yourself. These are the things I did and (for the most part) I am doing much better these days.

If it's not TOO bad, I'd say exercise, eat healthier first. At the same time, assess what your stressors are and try to remove them from your life. If it still isn't working, try talking to a professional.  None of this may work, or some of it might.  As a last resort, meds can change the mind in amazing ways. When I'm on them I can blend in, but off them I don't hold myself together remotely the same.

[Ilunga]

1 hour ago, Mr.DirtyDangles said:

Hoping your footing is solid and dry Nuxfan

 

I am betting if you talk openly with any person they will be able to tell you a few incredible life stories, especially Smithers Joe   After living with a mother who had serious depression and seeing many friends as well as my self struggle with it at times,  I will really only say this....  life itself will rapidly mold any per-existing mental or physical conditions into life long hurdles if given the smallest chance. Add an actual form of depression into that mix if it hasn't already set in and you will have a wicked game to play with yourself for a really long time.

 

 

 

Hey brother , Ratiocinator, buhdas hand here. Been thinking about a lot of people on this forum in the years I have been away , you are one of them. Hope you are doing well and winning the good struggle. I never truly realised that on a forum on the internet I could connect so well with people. In the hardest time of my life this is another joy, one I did not expect, that makes this hard time a lot more bearable. 

[Ilunga]

Just now, Canuck Surfer said:

I speak in a subtle daze sometimes.

 

Its the peace ant-deppresants offer. And I'm still grateful!

 

For years portions of my life spiralled, small items at a time, in the wrong direction. In the midst of an otherwise happy and productive life.

 

That suddenly was not!

 

No one moment momentous.  And I knew I was getting a bit stressed. And more so. Then afraid. Then my life out of control & hard to explain to people. And even then that they might not trust to listen anymore?

 

A little daze. 

 

And you don't wake up in the middle of the night with a dull headache. Or in panic. Then freak out at work. Take a day off and realize you have not really slept in weeks. Or for years. And had no days off, but got nothing done. 

 

Without, and I stress without any hidden meaning, the first step is often help. Which offers a good nights sleep.

 

My best wishes and all help to those, including myself, as they need it.

I have been thinking of you to mate. I felt guilty after visiting you on nieghbours street and then disapearing from your life. It is no excuse, but I went to such a dark place that I even stopped mountain biking and skiing. I have been going into the ice centre for a skate and watch my friend Sean's ice hockey team the night owls play. He is one of many who have helped me through this time in my life.

[luckylager]

41 minutes ago, kloubek said:

If it's not TOO bad, I'd say exercise, eat healthier first. At the same time, assess what your stressors are and try to remove them from your life. If it still isn't working, try talking to a professional.  None of this may work, or some of it might.  As a last resort, meds can change the mind in amazing ways. When I'm on them I can blend in, but off them I don't hold myself together remotely the same.

I was put on meds in my early teens for ADHD but they made me depressed so I got meds for that too.

 

Then I started getting anxious and lashing out in anger, so I got more meds. Not just teen angst. Police involved stuff

 

15yrs old on a cocktail and I was still just sad and angry. Really really angry. So I ran away from home. 

I started "self medicating", doing other drugs that made me feel good and allowed me to explore my conciousness without the fear of having to talk about it, or explain myself to anyone.

 

Then in one month, two of my best friends died and two others went to jail (juvie). That was a harsh toke to say the least.

 

So I went back to my family. In one of my many acid or mushroom trips I somehow accepted my failings and made peace with myself. Prior to my friends passing I was feeling happy even when sober, solely because I'd accepted responsibility for my life. Their deaths hurt me a lot, they still do, but they helped me too.

 

So I brought this new me home to hugs and kisses, went back to school and did really well while self medicating for my ADHD (weed). The depression stuff comes and goes in waves, but never seems to go until I've run away for a little while. 

 

Btw, I have absolutely zero faith in the mentality health industry. I genuinely believe hallucinagenics and nature saved my ass.

[Cramarossa]

I suffer from depression. I suffer from anxiety. I suffer from ruminations.

 

The ruminations (obsessive thoughts) are the worst. Thoughts are like a record skipping and repeating, repeating, REPEATING in my mind that I can't control. Sometimes the thoughts are innocuous and don't make sense (I once got the thought of Ovechkin coming back from injury stuck in my mind) but oftentimes they are negative and fabrications from my many insecurities. The thoughts will repeat, repeat, repeat keeping me up all night so that I can't sleep and distracting me during the day. It's a constant hum of painful thoughts ("they don't like you, no one loves you, you're ugly,  you're awful") cycling in my mind.

 

Pair these recurring thoughts with my many phobias and the anxiety kicks in bad. I fear things like driving and flying, but also the thought that all my ruminations are true. I know objectively they're not, but they feel so real and I can't shut that out. So then I get depressed.

 

I'm on medication. I thought it was helping, but now I'm not so sure. The last month has really brought me to my knees. I'm not coping well at all. 

[JLD]

I don't suffer from depression or anxiety but something is going on with me that I think could qualify as a mental illness and I'm wondering if anyone has gone through the same thing. I have had two emotionally traumatic, though not incredibly serious, events in my life related to sex. And I've recently been diagnosed with a nerve disorder where the nerves in my 'special area' hurt when touched. But there's nothing wrong with the nerves themselves, it's that my brain sends a pain response when it shouldn't. There's not that much research that's been done with my condition, but psychological events can be a cause. Has anyone had similar experiences where emotional trauma manifests itself as a physical condition? Any advice for me on strategies I might be able to use to help me recover?

[kloubek]

Keep in mind that there is the potential for drugs which once worked dont work so well anymore. Ive been on at least a half dozen different types with varying degrees of success, and longevity.

 

If the drugs arent working, perhaps its time for a mixup.

[Fan since 82]

41 minutes ago, Cramarossa said:

I suffer from depression. I suffer from anxiety. I suffer from ruminations.

 

The ruminations (obsessive thoughts) are the worst. Thoughts are like a record skipping and repeating, repeating, REPEATING in my mind that I can't control. Sometimes the thoughts are innocuous and don't make sense (I once got the thought of Ovechkin coming back from injury stuck in my mind) but oftentimes they are negative and fabrications from my many insecurities. The thoughts will repeat, repeat, repeat keeping me up all night so that I can't sleep and distracting me during the day. It's a constant hum of painful thoughts ("they don't like you, no one loves you, you're ugly,  you're awful") cycling in my mind.

 

Pair these recurring thoughts with my many phobias and the anxiety kicks in bad. I fear things like driving and flying, but also the thought that all my ruminations are true. I know objectively they're not, but they feel so real and I can't shut that out. So then I get depressed.

 

I'm on medication. I thought it was helping, but now I'm not so sure. The last month has really brought me to my knees. I'm not coping well at all. 

Thanks for sharing - it takes a lot of courage to open up, even in an anonymous forum. 

 

I must admit that I don't understand this world from a personal experience pov, and I have been guilty of the 'just suck it up' mentality, but as I get older (have lived for over half a century now) and have seen friends struggle I realise that I actually don't know anything. I am a recovering addict/alcoholic and have had my own struggles, but have in all honesty never struggled with any serious depression or anxiety.

 

I hope that you all find some peace, and would love to see some progress in treatment of mental illness.