Dealing with Depression and Other Mental Illnesses

[\/ijay]

On 9/26/2018 at 3:21 PM, brownky said:

The guy gets home, locks the door, doesn't speak to a soul until 'tomorrow'. The house is dark, his life is dark. It's never been light. There's no medication prescription or otherwise, none of it makes a difference, so no overindulgence to try to make the darkness go away... it's just dark. No reason for it to BE dark. He has everything one usually 'sets out' in life for, all the toys. All meaningless. None of it brings any light. He struggles to motivate himself to do required household-like tasks because there's no feel or benefit to doing it. Mowing the lawn, painting windows. It's all temporary, so why waste the effort when you'll just have to do it again? Ironically, same argument against making the bed in the mornings.

That really speaks to me. I have a lot of trouble just doing required household tasks. I ended up having to get a housekeeper to come by every 2 weeks or so.

 

I can't relate the lack of feeling that some people get, its quite the opposite, I feel everything very intensely.

[Cramarossa]

4 hours ago, \/ijay said:

I experienced the same. Everyone wants you to open up but it just makes the few friends you have drift farther apart from you. Depression is, well, depressing and it wears people down to hear about it. They start out really supportive at first and if you're just temporarily sad that works out well. But if you are depressed its not going to disappear overnight. They get to the point where enough is enough and they expect you to just get over it.

I feel it. I also keep encountering people that take a "tough love" approach and think being harsh will just snap me out of it, I guess. Or people who try to counter my feelings with facts as if my sadness/fears/phobias can just be reasoned away. 

 

I tell people what I need (to be heard and comforted- no solutions, no suggestions, no judgement), and they can't or won't provide it. It feels like no one understands.

[riffraff]

On 2018-10-15 at 2:44 PM, Cramarossa said:

I feel it. I also keep encountering people that take a "tough love" approach and think being harsh will just snap me out of it, I guess. Or people who try to counter my feelings with facts as if my sadness/fears/phobias can just be reasoned away. 

 

I tell people what I need (to be heard and comforted- no solutions, no suggestions, no judgement), and they can't or won't provide it. It feels like no one understands.

Please down take this the wrong way.  But my question to you is:

 

have you listened to the to the right people make suggestions and attempted to follow through with those suggestions to see if they help?

 

speaking to the right people is key.  People who have lived life may have gone through similar problems to what you are going through and their experiences may offer some help.

 

im not judging you or telling you what to do.  All I’m saying is sometimes what you want to hear isn’t what is going to help.

[Cramarossa]

40 minutes ago, riffraff said:

Please down take this the wrong way.  But my question to you is:

 

have you listened to the to the right people make suggestions and attempted to follow through with those suggestions to see if they help?

 

speaking to the right people is key.  People who have lived life may have gone through similar problems to what you are going through and their experiences may offer some help.

 

im not judging you or telling you what to do.  All I’m saying is sometimes what you want to hear isn’t what is going to help.

The folks I'm referring to are friends and family- the first line of defense most people try to lean on in tough times. I'm not sure what you mean by me speaking to "the right people", but I've finally been able to book an appointment with a therapist Monday who I imagine is better equipped than most to help.

 

I've been trying to get actual professional help for a while, but my insurance makes it so difficult (weeks of phone calls and getting transferred), so I tried reaching out to people I know. Didn't help much. I am feeling optimistic about my treatment though.

[JM_]

37 minutes ago, Cramarossa said:

The folks I'm referring to are friends and family- the first line of defense most people try to lean on in tough times. I'm not sure what you mean by me speaking to "the right people", but I've finally been able to book an appointment with a therapist Monday who I imagine is better equipped than most to help.

 

I've been trying to get actual professional help for a while, but my insurance makes it so difficult (weeks of phone calls and getting transferred), so I tried reaching out to people I know. Didn't help much. I am feeling optimistic about my treatment though.

Professional help is hard for people to get up here too. The psychiatric side is covered in our health system for free, but even then its very hard to find one that deals with teens e.g.. For counselling though you are on your own for costs and its pricey, around $200/hour. 

 

Friends and family want to help so much that they sometimes can't provide objective help and that makes it harder sometimes I think.

 

[PhillipBlunt]

1 hour ago, Cramarossa said:

The folks I'm referring to are friends and family- the first line of defense most people try to lean on in tough times. I'm not sure what you mean by me speaking to "the right people", but I've finally been able to book an appointment with a therapist Monday who I imagine is better equipped than most to help.

 

I've been trying to get actual professional help for a while, but my insurance makes it so difficult (weeks of phone calls and getting transferred), so I tried reaching out to people I know. Didn't help much. I am feeling optimistic about my treatment though.

I've had numerous counseling appointments over the years. Some have worked, some haven't. I've really had to learn how to ride the wave and keep myself sane while navigating very dark areas. Exercise and music keep me focused, but some days the pressure and standing staring into the abyss takes it's toll.

 

I hope the best for you, Cramarossa.

[canucklehead44]

Bi-polar disorder mixed with severe anxiety - lethal combination. I naturally have a neurotic personality so my thoughts can spin and I have a hard time sleeping (especially in manic states). I started getting really bad panic attacks as well and nearly destroyed my life a few times. Rationally my life wasn't that bad but mentally it was so hard to deal with I felt it wasn't even worth being a live anymore despite having a terrible fear of death, being alone etc. 

The weird thing is my brain did a complete 180 and I am not sure how or why. It is almost like I overloaded my mental state and the whole thing just blew up and I started fresh with a default setting. I was bi-polar my entire life (even as a young child) but not diagnosed until adult hood. 

 

I used to hate being by myself now I thoroughly enjoy solitude. My sadness/happiness levels are blunted down to about 1/100th of what they used to be and my anxiety is pretty much gone. My mind still races and I over analyze things but overall I've become just super chill other than getting annoyed (mainly by leaf fans haha). 

I've improved my diet, started lifting weights 3 days a week and am now playing hockey 2-3 days per week. 

I've tried to simplify my life as much as possible (especially when it comes to things like finances), started cooking more, and getting into routines. I have a VERY hard time making mistakes - there is almost a demon inside of me that pounces any opportunity it gets to destroy me. It is like I get a crazy drive to ruin my own life. Hard to explain - therapist calls it my bad roommate. So I've started planning ahead and creating a strategy or a foundation/set of morales so I don't run into "I should have done this not that" mentally which is harmful. 

So in short I am not sure what exactly did it but I did make positive changes to my life. My advise: start with exercise. Either short weight lifting sessions or something you really enjoy like a sport. Then focus on diet. Simplify things as much as possible to minimize decision making. Create a routine. Then find meaning or a goal that isn't something too risky. My new goal is to try and put additional money down on my house. Old me would be obsessing about high risk investments. 
 

[Just1CupB4IDie]

Sinead O'Connor , who has struggled with mental health, announced conversion to Islam...

[Cramarossa]

On 10/20/2018 at 10:20 PM, canucklehead44 said:

Rationally my life wasn't that bad but mentally it was so hard to deal with I felt it wasn't even worth being a live anymore despite having a terrible fear of death, being alone etc.

Me, right now.

 

On 10/25/2018 at 8:04 PM, Just1CupBeforeIDie said:

Sinead O'Connor , who has struggled with mental health, announced conversion to Islam...

Are you trying to imply the two are related?

[coastal.view]

12 minutes ago, Cramarossa said:

Me, right now.

enjoy whatever small things you can

look for magic where possible (ep40) as that gives you hope for other possibilities

try to hold on to the belief that the black/grey clouds will pass, because you know they will

and you'll wake up to a sunny day (even if that is only once in a while)

some are challenged to endure more and there is some reward for just hanging in there

[Cramarossa]

25 minutes ago, coastal.view said:

enjoy whatever small things you can

look for magic where possible (ep40) as that gives you hope for other possibilities

try to hold on to the belief that the black/grey clouds will pass, because you know they will

and you'll wake up to a sunny day (even if that is only once in a while)

some are challenged to endure more and there is some reward for just hanging in there

I'm trying. Everything just feels so empty and hopeless. Even hockey isn't too fun or exciting to me, which is how I know it's bad. Right now all the game tix I've purchased seem more like a burden than a blessing.

[HI5]

 

Bit of a different take on depression and some which most certainly helps me. Simply just having goals and staying fit helps a ton.

[Nuxfanabroad]

10 hours ago, Cramarossa said:

I'm trying. Everything just feels so empty and hopeless. Even hockey isn't too fun or exciting to me, which is how I know it's bad. Right now all the game tix I've purchased seem more like a burden than a blessing.

All the best, Cram. This life is a tough slog sometimes, but usually some form of consolation/inspiration/motivation arrives.

 

I don't really remember the easier times in my life, that well, or vividly . But the tougher memories. Periods I didn't think I'd be able to endure. It's strange how looking back, those hard memories usually make me smile.

 

I've been wondering if people today(perhaps from tech) have lost the necessary grace to empathize & console? Or maybe it's taken a different form? Sometimes we must find this consolation, healing & motivation within ourselves. It might well be a creative process (?).. Answers vary with one's pov, but I'm seeing things this way, nowadays...

[The Beagle had landed]

I've never been diagnosed with depression but I have felt it throughout my life.  It started when I was a teenager.  I would always have this intense feeling of loneliness even though I had tons of friends and a loving family.  I felt disconnected from everything and never talked to anyone about it.  I just went about projecting a false image of happiness and instead of trying to make myself better, I ended up being the shoulder for everyone else to lean on.  Because I didn't like expressing my emotions, others could come to me and just talk, and I would just listen and be there for them.

 

As I grew older the stresses of adulthood added to the depression building inside of me.  Social anxiety, negative outlook on the world, feelings of helplessness and not being understood made me lethargic and complacent.  I was physically unhealthy, scrambled mentally and the depression turned into this living monster that was eating me alive from the inside.  This fake me that was trying to portray happiness had enough and was tired of pretending.  I became outwardly distant and cold to friends and family, and began to feel like a burden to the people I loved.  Suicide was always a lingering thought, but I turned to drug and alcohol abuse to make the "easy way out" a little easier.  I had all these demons cheering me on, pushing me to the edge, but I always woke up the next day, most of the time not knowing where I was or how I got there.  I knew that family and friends saw my negative behaviour but never really engaged me about it.

 

It wasn't until I reconnected with an old friend whom I hadn't spoke to in few years that things began to change.

 

I dont know why, but during that phone conversation I let my guard down.  I allowed myself to be vulnerable.  I opened up to her about how I was feeling and the depression I was in.  She allowed me to just talk about it all for the first time.  15 years of repressed depression.  And it was such an eye opening relief.  To hear yourself admitting all these feelings as opposed to keeping it as a personal dialogue in my head was an amazing feeling.  It was the most important 2 hours of my life.

 

Coincidentally, that same night I recieved a call from another friend who had just moved away, and I was able to open up to her and we shared are experiences with depression and I began feeling even more relief.

 

That evening, 2 friends and 4 hours of serious personal discussion was the beginning of change for me, all because I was able to talk about my depreaaion and allow myself to be vulnerable.

 

I had a new sense of energy, which I translated into exercise, which reduced my stress and anxiety.  I started eating healthier, quit smoking cold turkey, stopped doing things that were negatively affecting me and became a happier person.  I left a toxic girlfriend and fell in love with my current one who understands me and treats me like a king.  All of this happened within a year and I've never felt better both physically and mentally.

 

Now when things come up in conversation, I'm not afraid to use my depression as an example of things.  Everytime I talk about it i feel less and less burden by it.

 

My take away from my personal experience with this is to allow yourself to be vulnerable.  Talk about it. Keep talking about it.  And when someone comes to you about it, just listen.  Don't tell someone how they should feel or what they're feeling because you just don't know.  A person who's depressed just needs to talk about it without interruption or judegement.

 

A close friend, a therapist, strangers on a hockey forum, they're people who genuinely want the best out of you, but you need to give them your all if you expect things to change.

 

Obviously everyone suffers depression differently, and I'm hoping my story can relate to someone and motivate them to make a change.

 

 

 

 

[HI5]

Some more Tyson Fury opening up about his depression and about how he was the boy who cried wolf one too many times. 

 

 

Really hope he wins is upcoming fight in a massive comeback attempt. Hopefully it helps someone here or motivates someone to dig out of whatever hole they find themselves in. 

[PhillipBlunt]

On ‎10‎/‎29‎/‎2018 at 2:51 PM, The Beagle had landed said:

I've never been diagnosed with depression but I have felt it throughout my life.  It started when I was a teenager.  I would always have this intense feeling of loneliness even though I had tons of friends and a loving family.  I felt disconnected from everything and never talked to anyone about it.  I just went about projecting a false image of happiness and instead of trying to make myself better, I ended up being the shoulder for everyone else to lean on.  Because I didn't like expressing my emotions, others could come to me and just talk, and I would just listen and be there for them.

 

As I grew older the stresses of adulthood added to the depression building inside of me.  Social anxiety, negative outlook on the world, feelings of helplessness and not being understood made me lethargic and complacent.  I was physically unhealthy, scrambled mentally and the depression turned into this living monster that was eating me alive from the inside.  This fake me that was trying to portray happiness had enough and was tired of pretending.  I became outwardly distant and cold to friends and family, and began to feel like a burden to the people I loved.  Suicide was always a lingering thought, but I turned to drug and alcohol abuse to make the "easy way out" a little easier.  I had all these demons cheering me on, pushing me to the edge, but I always woke up the next day, most of the time not knowing where I was or how I got there.  I knew that family and friends saw my negative behaviour but never really engaged me about it.

 

It wasn't until I reconnected with an old friend whom I hadn't spoke to in few years that things began to change.

 

I dont know why, but during that phone conversation I let my guard down.  I allowed myself to be vulnerable.  I opened up to her about how I was feeling and the depression I was in.  She allowed me to just talk about it all for the first time.  15 years of repressed depression.  And it was such an eye opening relief.  To hear yourself admitting all these feelings as opposed to keeping it as a personal dialogue in my head was an amazing feeling.  It was the most important 2 hours of my life.

 

Coincidentally, that same night I recieved a call from another friend who had just moved away, and I was able to open up to her and we shared are experiences with depression and I began feeling even more relief.

 

That evening, 2 friends and 4 hours of serious personal discussion was the beginning of change for me, all because I was able to talk about my depreaaion and allow myself to be vulnerable.

 

I had a new sense of energy, which I translated into exercise, which reduced my stress and anxiety.  I started eating healthier, quit smoking cold turkey, stopped doing things that were negatively affecting me and became a happier person.  I left a toxic girlfriend and fell in love with my current one who understands me and treats me like a king.  All of this happened within a year and I've never felt better both physically and mentally.

 

Now when things come up in conversation, I'm not afraid to use my depression as an example of things.  Everytime I talk about it i feel less and less burden by it.

 

My take away from my personal experience with this is to allow yourself to be vulnerable.  Talk about it. Keep talking about it.  And when someone comes to you about it, just listen.  Don't tell someone how they should feel or what they're feeling because you just don't know.  A person who's depressed just needs to talk about it without interruption or judegement.

 

A close friend, a therapist, strangers on a hockey forum, they're people who genuinely want the best out of you, but you need to give them your all if you expect things to change.

 

Obviously everyone suffers depression differently, and I'm hoping my story can relate to someone and motivate them to make a change.

 

 

 

 

Thank you for sharing this, Beagle. I agree. When I've been in deep with depression, having someone to talk to, who doesn't try to fix you or help you but just listens to you, is huge. There are family members I don't speak to about my depression, because they immediately stop listening and just play psychologist, which is exactly the last thing someone who is depressed needs.

 

Happy to hear that you're doing well.

[Drive-By Body Pierce]

Depression has wrecked my life. Working to climb out, but I am in some of the deepest darkest trenches I could've ever imagined.

[HI5]

On 1/30/2019 at 11:13 PM, Drive-By Body Pierce said:

Depression has wrecked my life. Working to climb out, but I am in some of the deepest darkest trenches I could've ever imagined.

Keep grinding away to beat it, things can only get better. The simple things like diet, sleep, exercise and striving towards a specific goal go a long ways in helping stay motivated to get through this. You got this!

[PhillipBlunt]

On ‎1‎/‎30‎/‎2019 at 10:13 PM, Drive-By Body Pierce said:

Depression has wrecked my life. Working to climb out, but I am in some of the deepest darkest trenches I could've ever imagined.

Sorry to hear that you're in the midst of the dark places, Drive-By. I've been there and it's overwhelming and all-encompassing. That being said, I've made it out, and do have to ride the wave when the current takes me under, but I've conditioned myself to prepare for the onslaught and fight.

[Alflives]

On 1/30/2019 at 10:13 PM, Drive-By Body Pierce said:

Depression has wrecked my life. Working to climb out, but I am in some of the deepest darkest trenches I could've ever imagined.

There are posters here, who have similar feelings.  Sharing your experiences with others is a good way to get many hands to help pull you out of those trenches.  You don’t need to climb alone.