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Making new friends as an adult

Scottish⑦Canuck

By Scottish⑦Canuck
in Off-Topic General

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Scottish⑦Canuck Canucks First-Line

Scottish⑦Canuck

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Also, I'm considering taking acting classes after the new year to try and improve my confidence and help with my (already much improved but not at a level I'd ideally like it to be) social anxiety. I did enjoy it at school and it was one of the few times I was able to come out of my shell, but that's going back quite a while now.

 

Is this idea as horrendously stupid as it sounds? :lol:

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D-Money Canucks All-Star

D-Money

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Gotta put yourself out there. Can't expect them to come to you. In that respect, anything that helps you overcome social anxiety is helpful. Even just getting out there in smaller steps should help as well.

 

A lot of people make friends at work - personally though, I avoid that. If you start a friendship that turns out to be one you don't want, it could lead to problems trying to stop it.

 

If you're religious, could meet people through that. I met most of my closest friends through religious gatherings - you have something in common off the bat.

 

Community events are helpful, but only if it's a cause you feel strongly about or are related to. For instance, a library fundraiser is great if you're an avid reader, but if you're not, you're not going to have a lot in common. If you have kids, a school function is fantastic. If you don't, they might call the cops on you. :lol:

 

If you're a fan of a certain team, can search social media for events related to it. Since you're on here...is there a bar somewhere that broadcasts Canucks games? If you're in England, even one that broadcasts NHL games?

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Shift-4 Canucks All-Star

Shift-4

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I suck at making friends.

 

Looks like I have good potential through my hockey team. Really good group of people. 

 

I'm just not very good at 'hanging out'.

 

More often than not if someone said 'Wanna come over for ______' I would probably decline.

I need to change that.

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Alflives Canucks Hall-of-Famer

Alflives

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1 hour ago, Scottish⑦Canuck said:

Also, I'm considering taking acting classes after the new year to try and improve my confidence and help with my (already much improved but not at a level I'd ideally like it to be) social anxiety. I did enjoy it at school and it was one of the few times I was able to come out of my shell, but that's going back quite a while now.

 

Is this idea as horrendously stupid as it sounds? :lol:

Acting is great.  It allows your character to be judged, but keeps you (somewhat) hidden.  

How do you define a true friend?  

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SabreFan1 Canucks All-Star

SabreFan1

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1 hour ago, Scottish⑦Canuck said:

Also, I'm considering taking acting classes after the new year to try and improve my confidence and help with my (already much improved but not at a level I'd ideally like it to be) social anxiety. I did enjoy it at school and it was one of the few times I was able to come out of my shell, but that's going back quite a while now.

 

Is this idea as horrendously stupid as it sounds? :lol:

I don't mean this as a putdown, but if you have social anxiety and confidence issues, a psychologist can definitely help you with that.

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Ryan Strome Canucks All-Star

Ryan Strome

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2 hours ago, Scottish⑦Canuck said:

Fairly self-explanatory title - New city, new job... how the hell do you do it? :lol:

Start supporting Brexit, my friend. JJ I know how you feel, been there done that. Usually I made friends through work. Not much I know but just trying to give a little help.

 

Just move to Canada we are all friendly.::D

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brownky Canucks Second-Line

brownky

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22 minutes ago, Ryan Strome said:

How about a group outing on pof? :bigblush:

People still use PoF?

 

That's the more surprising thing in this thread.

 

Also, sports or activities. You automatically have 'something in common' with those people. There'll be a person or two in there you could go do other crap with as well. For example, I know of a couple people who both curl and play slowpitch, and they're good friends. Neither from around here.

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Scottish⑦Canuck Canucks First-Line

Scottish⑦Canuck

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37 minutes ago, SabreFan1 said:

I don't mean this as a putdown, but if you have social anxiety and confidence issues, a psychologist can definitely help you with that.

Oh, don't worry. I didn't take it that way. 

 

I have thought about it before and to be honest I'm not all that sure of why I haven't gone down that route in the past. It was far more severe when I was younger and I've almost naturally grown in confidence as I've got older and gained more responsibilities. Still a bit away from where I'd like to be, but definitely something to consider i guess. 

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Scottish⑦Canuck Canucks First-Line

Scottish⑦Canuck

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28 minutes ago, Ryan Strome said:

Start supporting Brexit, my friend. JJ I know how you feel, been there done that. Usually I made friends through work. Not much I know but just trying to give a little help.

 

Just move to Canada we are all friendly.::D

:lol:

 

I did have a lot of friends in my previous job, but that was with a small company in a very social and outgoing city. I'm now working for a much larger company in Edinburgh, which is a bit more "stuck up" or reserved and I'm finding most people here keep to themselves outwith the office. I'll give it time though. 

 

Sports is a good idea, but my knee is pretty much useless and can't hold out anymore. Years of being a floorball goalie really took their toll. I am working on getting back up to fitness though. Hopefully that lasts. 

 

 

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Alflives Canucks Hall-of-Famer

Alflives

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3 minutes ago, Scottish⑦Canuck said:

:lol:

 

I did have a lot of friends in my previous job, but that was with a small company in a very social and outgoing city. I'm now working for a much larger company in Edinburgh, which is a bit more "stuck up" or reserved and I'm finding most people here keep to themselves outwith the office. I'll give it time though. 

 

Sports is a good idea, but my knee is pretty much useless and can't hold out anymore. Years of being a floorball goalie really took their toll. I am working on getting back up to fitness though. Hopefully that lasts. 

 

 

I’m betting you’re the only person on our boards, who lives in Scotland.  Now that’s pretty cool.  

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Ryan Strome Canucks All-Star

Ryan Strome

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1 hour ago, brownky said:

People still use PoF?

 

That's the more surprising thing in this thread.

 

Also, sports or activities. You automatically have 'something in common' with those people. There'll be a person or two in there you could go do other crap with as well. For example, I know of a couple people who both curl and play slowpitch, and they're good friends. Neither from around here.

I actually know nothing about it I got married pretty young.

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RUPERTKBD Canucks Hall-of-Famer

RUPERTKBD

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3 hours ago, Scottish⑦Canuck said:

Also, I'm considering taking acting classes after the new year to try and improve my confidence and help with my (already much improved but not at a level I'd ideally like it to be) social anxiety. I did enjoy it at school and it was one of the few times I was able to come out of my shell, but that's going back quite a while now.

 

Is this idea as horrendously stupid as it sounds? :lol:

Nope. I have a good friend who is a transplanted Londoner. He joined the local theatre company and now has a huge circle of friends.

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Jaku Canucks First-Line

Jaku

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4 hours ago, Scottish⑦Canuck said:

Fairly self-explanatory title - New city, new job... how the hell do you do it? :lol:

Got kids? Honestly the only way I have friends right now is because we meet couples at play group and pre school.

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-AJ- Canucks Hall-of-Famer

-AJ-

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I have two close friends remaining these days, one from high school and one from university. As D-Money said, I think finding groups with whom you have a lot in common is a good start. Religious communities, video games, sports teams, other hobbies, etc. My university friends all came from a Christian group I hung out with at the university.

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Monty Canucks All-Star

Monty

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Most has already been said. One I would add is try taking up a new hobby you’ve shown passing interest in.

 

For example, I’ve always loved cooking. Since I had to cook for my family and myself anyway, thought it would be fun to get better at it. Considering a great deal of socializing happens around food, that was something I took up years ago. You meet new people in those classes, which is great to branch out. May not necessarily strike up friendships, but it’s a skill you can learn that, when you do meet people, you can hold gatherings at your place and cook for them. You’ll be known, at the very least, as the guy that cooks for everyone.

 

There’s also obscure sports you can take up (ie: fencing, snowshoeing, etc) where you go even more out of your comfort zone.

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