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Marijuana Cures All Disease

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https://newmainenews.com/2019/01/03/marijuana-cures-all-disease-reports-unhealthiest-person-youve-ever-met/?fbclid=IwAR2XY_jGNegyfwzOJE5nCcpm5MmapCUrzmZIEPGJw1BkyZD-In4rHzap7eE

 

Marijuana Cures All Disease, Reports Unhealthiest Person You’ve Ever Met

 

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Medical marijuana treats and alleviates all known sicknesses, reports a man with chronic conditions of the skin, lungs, and other vital organs.

 

Eben Levesque, 58, a life-long marijuana user and decrepit bag of loose skin and bones, swears the substance can cure any disease known to medical science.

“They dipped a pacifier in weed oil, give it to a baby one time,” the wheezing, dandruff-ridden man reports, “after one treatment, the baby was cancer-free. Swear to God.”

Levesque, who walks with a pronounced limp thanks to untreated infections in his filthy feet, is a self-taught scientist on the subject of marijuana’s curative properties.

“One time when mumma had the flu, the doctor tells her ‘go home and rest,’ so she went home and rested. Didn’t smoke at all. Took her 2 weeks before she was right again,” he said.

“But when I had a cold, I smoked a few bowls and I was feeling better in a week. Stuff is almost magical.”

Levesque said marijuana will never catch on as a treatment for all human diseases as long as there’s money to be made “treating the sick but not curing them.”

The expert on human health lit up a Marlboro red after a tremendous coughing spell brought on from a bong hit.

“Cigarettes get you 10% higher, guy.”

 

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2 hours ago, Qwags said:

Old people are so wise.

They are wise.

 

 

The truth is that ignorant & arrogant folk across the human race is rampant.

 

Also, controversy sells. It is startling how many examples there are of people making claims they do not believe.

 

I'd also like to add that marijuana cured me of blindess; Where once there was darkness, now I see the light.

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4 hours ago, falcon45ca said:

They are wise.

 

 

The truth is that ignorant & arrogant folk across the human race is rampant.

 

Also, controversy sells. It is startling how many examples there are of people making claims they do not believe.

 

I'd also like to add that marijuana cured me of blindess; Where once there was darkness, now I see the light.

I was lost.

 

but now I am found.

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My thoughts changed on pot when at 15 I saw my grandma smoke it just so she could eat.  I tried it myself at 18 and never looked backed. 

 

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What the Hell is this nonsense all about? Are you trying to be sarcastic or did you actually go out find the worst example you could to try and directed cannabis as a treatment? Seriously if it’s the latter, you might as well give up! No one is buying your $&!# anymore (if you’re a newspaper then literally) multiple studies back it up, it seems like everyday we get a new use or treatment from this wonder plant.

One of the comments, I think he/she meant detract instead of directed. 

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24 minutes ago, 189lb enforcers? said:

It also creates a lot of unfinished Home Reno projects and yard art. 

:lol:

Lmao!

 

Yard art?... Is that what they call random scraps of drywall and some manky old pieces of carpet in a pile?

 

I'll have you know, I only half complete outdoor renos, like my greenhouse, because the kids' hockey, swimming, skating, basketball and school seasons happened before I could finish. Also, it's too &^@#ing dark to hang glass at 6:00 when I'm home from work.

 

Get off my case, dad, geez. You just stressed me out, I need a toke now. 

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