riffraff Posted September 1, 2019 Share Posted September 1, 2019 1 hour ago, debluvscanucks said: I've had an issue with female friends in the past and, early on, became a bit of a tomboy ("she can throw a mean spiral") as a result. Mostly, I had a really popular/cute boyfriend (whom I later married) that all the girls swooned over. So they'd get close to me, mostly, to get close to him. Over time, it got tiring and I grew to not trust many females as a result. That was my own issue, but it was created out of people who weren't genuine or true "friends". I've remained pretty closed off and was mostly friends with guys over the years....what you see is what you get. No game playing. Women People can be evil. So much manipulation can be involved and it's sad that friendships aren't always at face value but, at times, can be based on someone wanting something from someone else. Even later on in life...friends sometimes have agendas beyond just wanting to share time as friends together. I ain't got time for it. I'm a bit of a loner (by choice ... too much to do, too little time to do it in) and do what I do when I want to do it. So establishing boundaries was essential for me as friends started to be controlling and demanding. The friends I have now (and they're good ones) understand me and don't expect me to be something I'm not. They take me "as is". I spent most of my younger days watching sports and water skiing with a boat full of guys. When they brought along "girlfriends" it always went down the same path, as they flirted, heavily, with my guy. Needed bear spray. I never brought drama or issues to the group ... I was there to ski/have fun but it always got more complicated when the bimbos showed up. Honest as you can get right here. nice one. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaku Posted September 1, 2019 Share Posted September 1, 2019 (edited) Told a girl I liked her, she was really "meh" about relationships for a while. She came around about a month after. Starting hanging out on a daily basis, got closer and started dating. It was a rollercoaster ride definitely had it's high points and low points. We were dating for 10 months and then she stopped texting me one day. Tried calling her, no answer, took me off of social media, no idea what was happening. Finally got a hold of her sister - all she was "allowed" to say was that she had moved on. She was moving and didn't want any ties to anyone besides her family in the area. I was absolutely devastated. I didn't hear from her for three months - she added me on FB again and kind of gave me an explanation. She moved to Salmon Arm with her Aunt and Uncle. I don't remember what she exactly said but it was along the lines of - she didn't think investing her time in me was worth it. She wanted to date someone who was marriage material. Took a long time to get over that one. Edited September 1, 2019 by Jaku 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckylager Posted September 1, 2019 Share Posted September 1, 2019 10 hours ago, Dazzle said: That is a f-d up story. You bet it is. And that was the tldr version. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crabcakes Posted September 1, 2019 Share Posted September 1, 2019 10 hours ago, Nuxfanabroad said: Regarding families that shatter/break down - on the details of elder generations, you might never get an honest account(the straight goods) - Women or men can be socio/psycho paths & destroy things. A title(Mother, Father, Whomever...) doesn't assure they're a paragon of virtue - There ARE examples of toxic relationships, that will kill a person eventually(stress, & all it encompasses). Sometimes the only answer is to walk away I don't know if any of these points pertain to your own situation. Personally I've gone through such a disaster. The best answer was to move on & live abroad. Have stated it here before, in my family there were suicides, addictions, violence & mendacious manipulation. The best decision I (prob ever) made was to leave in my mid-20's. I loved Canada, but I would do it all(2 decades in Japan) again..even sooner, if I had a 2nd chance! My Ex was advised to do the same thing by a doctor who was counselling her when she was in her early 20's. He knew that what you have said is true. I was in love and ignored the warning signs and we married. We were together 20 years and had 2 kids. The last 10 years were really difficult not just because of her mother but because the ex was a little bit crazy too (not as bad) and the damage that was done. Anyhow, separated 9 years ago, divorced 3 years and life is so much better away from that storm. When she told me this story, I was shocked that a professional would give that advice because I believe that family is the most important thing in a persons life. I feel that way with my kids and work hard at maintaining a good relationship. My daughter is well adjusted but my son has difficulties. Neither drink much. I think that you know that you made the right call. I agree. Bottom line, sometimes you have to cut yourself off entirely. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riffraff Posted September 1, 2019 Share Posted September 1, 2019 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Violator Posted September 1, 2019 Share Posted September 1, 2019 (edited) Multiple times in my life its essentially turned me jaded and untrustworthy of people. Recently a friend asked me for money and has essentially ghosted me when i was told i was gonna get paid a few days later. That was a couple months ago. Edited September 1, 2019 by Violator 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angry Goose Posted September 1, 2019 Share Posted September 1, 2019 once i ordered jalapenos for my pizza but didnt get them. i was pissed. no revenge, still not o er it 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 1, 2019 Share Posted September 1, 2019 Yeah, I left to Europe for a month to visit family and had a guy that was my "friend" try and hit on my ex. That wasn't even the frustrating part, he told her all this manipulative stuff to try and get her to break up with me (how I would lie to her when I wanted to play basketball with my friends, some other things that I can't remember now which were all slight deviations from the truth). They didn't get together but it put a big dent in my relationship and we ended up breaking up a few months later. Needless to say, it ruined my Europe trip because of all the drama. That was about 15 years ago and I just don't think of it, but I haven't forgiven him. I yelled at him a bit and told him to get lost when I saw him once a long time ago... fast forward to this summer and I'm at a wedding in Kelowna, and lo and behold it's that same guy. I just ignored him, he's just a guy without a spine or any principles so I don't have time for people like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-DLC- Posted September 1, 2019 Share Posted September 1, 2019 22 hours ago, riffraff said: Honest as you can get right here. nice one. To be truthful, my Mom was OVERLY jealous and so, at times, I'd question if it was just me. Was I overreacting and being insecure. But my gut never really steered me wrong and was really what I relied on in whether I could "trust" someone or not. How things played out pretty much confirmed that my instincts and intuition were bang on. One of the girls from the group who was part of it all back then went on to marry my brother in law. Then cheated with his very best friend. When the marriage ended at that point, she pursued my brother, then my ex (we'd split up and he couldn't stand her...told me about it). My brother's ex too...went for my ex when we split up. It's funny because we've (my ex husband and I) stayed good friends and he confides in me now. Asks for advice. But back then, he thought I was being ridiculous...now he says "you were right about them". Because he was the spirited, out door guy who lived on the edge and had a good job, nice boat/car, etc. he attracted attention. All the wrong kinds it seems. 21 hours ago, VancouverHabitant said: Yeah, I left to Europe for a month to visit family and had a guy that was my "friend" try and hit on my ex. That wasn't even the frustrating part, he told her all this manipulative stuff to try and get her to break up with me (how I would lie to her when I wanted to play basketball with my friends, some other things that I can't remember now which were all slight deviations from the truth). They didn't get together but it put a big dent in my relationship and we ended up breaking up a few months later. Needless to say, it ruined my Europe trip because of all the drama. That was about 15 years ago and I just don't think of it, but I haven't forgiven him. I yelled at him a bit and told him to get lost when I saw him once a long time ago... fast forward to this summer and I'm at a wedding in Kelowna, and lo and behold it's that same guy. I just ignored him, he's just a guy without a spine or any principles so I don't have time for people like that. My ex's friend/workmate lived in our basement for awhile. As things were going south in our relationship, he swooped in.....right in our own house! Thing is, he was married but rather than commute the 2-3 hours to work each day he stayed at our place during the week. After a Hip concert once when my ex had been a real ass to me, I arrived home and this guy came upstairs (to console me??). Put his arm around me and said I should ditch my husband so we could take off together. Thing is, I told my ex and he booted him out. But he resumed their friendship later on down the road and that was a real betrayal to me. I'd been faithful and honest and told him, right away, what had happened. I didn't feel like his "friend" could be trusted at that point and I felt like he should have just dropped him like a bad habit. Plus, it was going to be really awkward. My ex's loyalties became a little questionable to me at that point and it was a few years later that we fell apart. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
86Viking Posted September 1, 2019 Share Posted September 1, 2019 Never lend $ to anyone if you truly are wanting it back, it likely wont happen and that will ruin a relationship if its family, friend or significant other. As for being betrayed in a relationship, at some point I am sure everyone has. In today's world there seems to be no real commitment or effort to stay with someone. Just go online and find your next catch so to speak. Quite sad in my opinion 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MystifyNCrucify Posted September 1, 2019 Share Posted September 1, 2019 Boo friggen hoo. Human nature is survival of the fittest. Dont hate the player, hate the game. We have all been betrayed or dissapointed at some point. Most of us move on. The best of us learn from it and get even better. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roberts Posted September 1, 2019 Share Posted September 1, 2019 6 minutes ago, MystifyNCrucify said: Boo friggen hoo. Human nature is survival of the fittest. Dont hate the player, hate the game. We have all been betrayed or dissapointed at some point. Most of us move on. The best of us learn from it and get even better. that's not really the point of this thread 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pears Posted September 1, 2019 Share Posted September 1, 2019 Not sure if this falls under the betrayal category but in my first year of university I reconnected with one of my best childhood friends since we were in the same program together. It was a good couple of years and we started to grow close to each other again so I figured there might be something here, but that eventually changed since I took a year off school and she stayed. So then a couple years back I messaged her to see if she wanted to go out some time and she said yes and we’d stay in touch until that happened. Well that never did, and a few months after she got with someone five years older than me (I’m 23 she’s 22), so that really hurt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Gnarcore Posted September 1, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted September 1, 2019 I got an ICBC settlement on my 19th birthday. Used some of it to go to Europe including paying for my girlfriend to come along. She was born in Germany to UK parents and then raised in Canada. So she had been to the UK a ton before. She had a little spending money but I was paying for almost everything. After about 3 weeks in England we were in London and I came back from skateboarding to the hotel and found her banging some dude she'd met the year before when there (found that out later..). They freak out but calm as can be I said stay where you are while I get my things. She was broke by this point so I grabbed all the cash, tickets and such that I had there, gathered my things and went to the front desk and explained the situation. They let me cancel the next two nights with a full refund. I called up and told her she had 15 mins to GTFO of the room and left with my backpack and skateboard. I was standing there thinking '&^@# this place' and hailed a black cab and asked him the quickest way out of England. Two hours later I was on a boat to France and 4 days later was in Amsterdam. I spent another 5 months over there and had one of the best times of my life. When I got back I ran into her dad at a gas station. He saw me and just said 'you owe me $1000. I then told him what went down and his only response was 'so she's just like her mother.' Turns out they had to wire her money to cover a room and food for a few days and flight home. She ended up a junkie and a prostitute last I heard....which was unfortunate. 1 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riffraff Posted September 1, 2019 Share Posted September 1, 2019 53 minutes ago, MystifyNCrucify said: Boo friggen hoo. Human nature is survival of the fittest. Dont hate the player, hate the game. We have all been betrayed or dissapointed at some point. Most of us move on. The best of us learn from it and get even better. I agree although there is nothing wrong with being sad or angry when feeling betrayed. Those are all human emotions so to suppress one and rely on another is not natural. i pity the emotionless. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrockBoester Posted September 1, 2019 Share Posted September 1, 2019 5 hours ago, 112 said: legit thought you were like 14 The world is full of pleasant surprises, eh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post nucklehead Posted September 1, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted September 1, 2019 bought BC Lions tickets because they said they had a CFL team 1 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil_314 Posted September 1, 2019 Share Posted September 1, 2019 Being lied to that pineapples don't belong on pizza... Had to go ham on that poor soul. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kingofsurrey Posted September 1, 2019 Share Posted September 1, 2019 (edited) Life is all about taking risks.... without risk you will never experience glory.... When you take risks.. people will let you down on occasion and betray you at times.... it happens, Still it is worth taking risks... i encourage everyone to step out of your comfort zone each day...... You may be surprised at what you find and get to learn / experience.... Edited September 1, 2019 by kingofsurrey 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monty Posted September 1, 2019 Share Posted September 1, 2019 Have many times. Don’t dwell on it at all. Can’t control what others do. Whether they intend to do wrong or not. Life happens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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