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The Stoopid Genie!

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DarthMelvin

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1 hour ago, Cpt.Clutch said:

Wish granted!  All Cancerians are healed of their dependence on their Astrological signs and horoscopes.  
 

i wish for stress free lifestyle. 

Wish granted!

 

You have now been turned into a single cell organism who, lacking a central nervous system, is unable to feel stress. 

 

I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat & a '6-4 Impala

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4 hours ago, falcon45ca said:

Wish granted!

 

You have now been turned into a single cell organism who, lacking a central nervous system, is unable to feel stress. 

 

I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat & a '6-4 Impala

Your wish is my command! You now have a rabbit in a hat with a bat and a 64 impala. You also don't have feet or hands, AND you have AIDS.

Congrats!

 

 

I wish I was a little bit taller

 

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3 hours ago, luckylager said:

Your wish is my command! You now have a rabbit in a hat with a bat and a 64 impala. You also don't have feet or hands, AND you have AIDS.

Congrats!

 

 

I wish I was a little bit taller

 

Your wish is granted except he forgot the taller part and now your stuck in a drill spinning at 5800rpm

 

i wish I had some

cookies 

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19 minutes ago, riffraff said:

Your wish is granted except he forgot the taller part and now your stuck in a drill spinning at 5800rpm

 

i wish I had some

cookies 

Congrats.  You now have all the cookies!  Now as you watch the internet, it watches you!

 

i wish california raisins would come back 

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Granted.  You get caught in a tornado and get thrown a mile away, paralyzing you and causing severe brain trauma.  You now are such a maths wizard, you have figured out the calculations of how tornadoes work and can successfully predict every movement.  Unfortunately that tornado looks like its coming back for round two...

 

I wish for snow on christmas day. 

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29 minutes ago, Cpt.Clutch said:

Granted.  You get caught in a tornado and get thrown a mile away, paralyzing you and causing severe brain trauma.  You now are such a maths wizard, you have figured out the calculations of how tornadoes work and can successfully predict every movement.  Unfortunately that tornado looks like its coming back for round two...

 

I wish for snow on christmas day. 

Your wish is my command. You get Snow on christmas day, except it's that hack who sang "Informer" and he's in your house with his posse, they're drunk, high on blow and keep singing that one crappy song over and over.

Merry &^@#ing Christmas.

 

"Informer duh nut a nutty something bout a gay, a licky bum bum down"

 

 

I wish for the world's largest collection of fine whiskey

Edited by luckylager
  • Haha 1
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12 minutes ago, luckylager said:

Your wish is my command. You get Snow on christmas day, except it's that hack who sang "Informer" and he's in your house with his posse, they're drunk, high on blow and keep singing that one crappy song over and over.

Merry &^@#ing Christmas.

 

"Informer duh nut a nutty something bout a gay, a licky bum bum down"

 

 

I wish for the world's largest collection of fine whiskey


 

fine, have all the whiskey jacks.  
 

i wish i could see the northern lights 

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1 minute ago, Cpt.Clutch said:


 

fine, have all the whiskey jacks.  
 

i wish i could see the northern lights 

Wish granted! You are now sitting by yourself in the remote artic, gazing at the majesty of the northern lights as you begin to freeze to death.

 

 

 

 

I wish I could drink gasoline and not die

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42 minutes ago, falcon45ca said:

Wish granted! You are now sitting by yourself in the remote artic, gazing at the majesty of the northern lights as you begin to freeze to death.

 

 

 

 

I wish I could drink gasoline and not die

Wish granted.

But I rigged your toilet with an igniter on a 5 second delay.

Boom.

Bet you thought having the clap made your pee burn.

 

 

I wish I knew everything.

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1 hour ago, luckylager said:

Wish granted.

But I rigged your toilet with an igniter on a 5 second delay.

Boom.

Bet you thought having the clap made your pee burn.

 

 

I wish I knew everything.

Wish granted

But because of the last person to claim that, nobody takes you seriously

20170617-07j03AWpEH4IZKsSMpd0?auto=forma

 

I wish for 28 hour days so I can get a decent sleep.

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On 11/21/2019 at 9:48 PM, Wilbur said:

Wish granted

But because of the last person to claim that, nobody takes you seriously

20170617-07j03AWpEH4IZKsSMpd0?auto=forma

 

I wish for 28 hour days so I can get a decent sleep.

You wish is granted...4 more hours added to the day...but it only creates 4 more hours which you are restless, tossing and turning in your bed. 

 

I wish I were 15 again....

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20 hours ago, DarthMelvin said:

You wish is granted...4 more hours added to the day...but it only creates 4 more hours which you are restless, tossing and turning in your bed. 

 

I wish I were 15 again....

Granted

oops, I think I just made your brain and emotional state permanently frozen at age 15.  Your body is still aged (except for that nagging perma-boner 15yo get), you still have all the responsibilities of life and you still have to make a good impression at work (good luck with HR with that log in your pants!)  


i wish the stars were visible at night. 

 

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On 11/29/2019 at 7:52 AM, Cpt.Clutch said:

Granted

oops, I think I just made your brain and emotional state permanently frozen at age 15.  Your body is still aged (except for that nagging perma-boner 15yo get), you still have all the responsibilities of life and you still have to make a good impression at work (good luck with HR with that log in your pants!)  


i wish the stars were visible at night. 

 

Granted.

Rather than reduce light pollution and pollution pollution, the movie channel has introduced a new technology that allows movies and TV shows to be projected onto our smoggy night skies.  First up, the full original run series of Roseanne.

 

I wish for cold fusion to become a reality.

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On 12/1/2019 at 2:40 PM, Wilbur said:

Granted.

Rather than reduce light pollution and pollution pollution, the movie channel has introduced a new technology that allows movies and TV shows to be projected onto our smoggy night skies.  First up, the full original run series of Roseanne.

 

I wish for cold fusion to become a reality.

Wish granted, I just fused your cold with a flu. Enjoy sneezing while you barf!

 

 

I wish I lived somewhere warm.

 

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4 hours ago, luckylager said:

Wish granted, I just fused your cold with a flu. Enjoy sneezing while you barf!

 

 

I wish I lived somewhere warm.

 

Wish granted!

 

You know live on the surface of the planet Venus! At a balmy 867 degrees Celsius, not only does the lead melt but so does your face!

 

 

 

I wish I rolled the craps table 10 wins straight

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On 12/2/2019 at 9:36 PM, falcon45ca said:

Wish granted!

 

You know live on the surface of the planet Venus! At a balmy 867 degrees Celsius, not only does the lead melt but so does your face!

 

 

 

I wish I rolled the craps table 10 wins straight


 

Granted

you crapped on the table 10x straight Amd rolled in it.  What a weirdo.  Why did you want that?  
 
I wish for truthful and honourable political leaders

 

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6 hours ago, Cpt.Clutch said:


 

Granted

you crapped on the table 10x straight Amd rolled in it.  What a weirdo.  Why did you want that?  
 
I wish for truthful and honourable political leaders

 

Wish granted. Now everybody just skips around singing catchy jingles and giggling.

The world's become a beautiful, loving place free from oppression, poverty and violence.

Unfortunately, everybody is too busy skipping around singing to notice the giant asteroid approaching our planet. We failed to send nukes into space to blow that mother&^@#er up because we stopped producing and developing weapons, and now we're all gonna die.

 

Way

To

Go

 

 

I wish I could do whatever I wanted without it having a negative impact on my mental, physical or finacial health.

 

 

Edited by luckylager
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On 12/8/2019 at 8:54 PM, luckylager said:

I wish I could do whatever I wanted without it having a negative impact on my mental, physical or finacial health.

Wish Granted...

 

Now you can do what ever you want and it won't have any impact on your life in any way. You will remain just as you are now. You realize that anything and everything you do is Pointless. 

 

I wish there were actual pet Wookies. 

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