Popular Post ImConfused Posted January 22, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted January 22, 2021 (edited) Okay so it goes without saying that we also have to fire Green, Benning, and all the other coaches and probably the training staff too. Might as well fire the zamboni driver while we are at it as well, just to make sure we have a clean slate going forward. That said, I have the basis for two huge deals that could really right the sinking ship for the Canucks, and I am here to offer them for free to whoever our new incoming GM would be! Trade #1: To Calgary: Demko, Hughes To Vancouver: Markstrom, Tanev, 3rd round pick Why Vancouver does this: It's time to jettison our overrated prospects who are clearly busts, before Calgary is any the wiser. Also we recoup the 3rd round pick that JB WASTED in the Schmidt trade. Why Calgary does this: It's basically a free acquisition for them as they paid nothing to acquire Marky and Tanev, and they save some money off the salary cap from their over-expensive contracts. This trade is a classic example of buy low, sell high. Demko and Hughes are at their peak value now but soon will be considered damaged goods when the Canucks continue on their 50-ish game losing streak this season. Trade #2: To Montreal: Boeser, Petterson, 2021 first rd pick, 2022 first rd pick To Vancouver: Toffoli Why Vancouver does this: We get a clear upgrade on offense in the HAT TRICK MACHINE Tyler Toffoli, and again we are selling players while value is high. Pettersson was widely regarded as a top up and coming rookie in this league up until about 10 days ago, but now it's clear that somehow he's lost all his talent like in Space Jam. Boeser and the two firsts are sweeteners as obviously Montreal doesn't give up a guy that scores 5 goals in 2 games for cheap. Why Montreal does this: They get Pettersson as kind of a reclamation project, there's probably around a 2-3% chance that Petey returns to anything more than a shadow of his former self, but even at those odds MTL would be crazy not to take a flyer on Elias. Boeser is good for their AHL depth and the two first rounders can be used to draft whoever has the most french-sounding last name at the drafts. I think if we quickly pull the trigger on these two deals and firing our entire coaching and training staff, hell, even fire the lady that makes copies in the office and bring in someone with more grit like Dan Hamhuis or Ryan Kesler to replace her - then we will be right back on track for a huge winning streak and a subsequent Stanley Cup Parade after this season. Thoughts? Spoiler Please be respectful and do not "wat" react this post Edited January 22, 2021 by ImConfused 1 1 15 16 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Pettersson the goat Posted January 22, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted January 22, 2021 U ok? do you have a emergency contact you want us to contact? 2 1 7 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EB43 Posted January 22, 2021 Share Posted January 22, 2021 I agree with everything, but we need to have insurance that Markstrom will be willing to extend his contract. 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Heffy Posted January 22, 2021 Share Posted January 22, 2021 Username of OP checks out. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post qwijibo Posted January 22, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted January 22, 2021 Quality satire 1 1 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaptainKool Posted January 22, 2021 Share Posted January 22, 2021 Very funny hahaha 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jam126 Posted January 22, 2021 Share Posted January 22, 2021 Yes please! This is how we will win! Is there any room left to bring back Gudbranson? 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarnBurner Posted January 22, 2021 Share Posted January 22, 2021 13 minutes ago, Pettersson the goat said: U ok? do you have a emergency contact you want us to contact? Don't worry about him. He's just confused! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coconuts Posted January 22, 2021 Share Posted January 22, 2021 (edited) I'll trade you a plate of drums for a plate of flats Edited January 22, 2021 by Coconuts 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RUPERTKBD Posted January 22, 2021 Share Posted January 22, 2021 44 minutes ago, ImConfused said: Okay so it goes without saying that we also have to fire Green, Benning, and all the other coaches and probably the training staff too. Might as well fire the zamboni driver while we are at it as well, just to make sure we have a clean slate going forward. That said, I have the basis for two huge deals that could really right the sinking ship for the Canucks, and I am here to offer them for free to whoever our new incoming GM would be! Trade #1: To Calgary: Demko, Hughes To Vancouver: Markstrom, Tanev, 3rd round pick Why Vancouver does this: It's time to jettison our overrated prospects who are clearly busts, before Calgary is any the wiser. Also we recoup the 3rd round pick that JB WASTED in the Schmidt trade. Why Calgary does this: It's basically a free acquisition for them as they paid nothing to acquire Marky and Tanev, and they save some money off the salary cap from their over-expensive contracts. This trade is a classic example of buy low, sell high. Demko and Hughes are at their peak value now but soon will be considered damaged goods when the Canucks continue on their 50-ish game losing streak this season. Trade #2: To Montreal: Boeser, Petterson, 2021 first rd pick, 2022 first rd pick To Vancouver: Toffoli Why Vancouver does this: We get a clear upgrade on offense in the HAT TRICK MACHINE Tyler Toffoli, and again we are selling players while value is high. Pettersson was widely regarded as a top up and coming rookie in this league up until about 10 days ago, but now it's clear that somehow he's lost all his talent like in Space Jam. Boeser and the two firsts are sweeteners as obviously Montreal doesn't give up a guy that scores 5 goals in 2 games for cheap. Why Montreal does this: They get Pettersson as kind of a reclamation project, there's probably around a 2-3% chance that Petey returns to anything more than a shadow of his former self, but even at those odds MTL would be crazy not to take a flyer on Elias. Boeser is good for their AHL depth and the two first rounders can be used to draft whoever has the most french-sounding last name at the drafts. I think if we quickly pull the trigger on these two deals and firing our entire coaching and training staff, hell, even fire the lady that makes copies in the office and bring in someone with more grit like Dan Hamhuis or Ryan Kesler to replace her - then we will be right back on track for a huge winning streak and a subsequent Stanley Cup Parade after this season. Thoughts? Reveal hidden contents Please be respectful and do not "wat" react this post I can't believe all the "confused" emojis.....I'm not sure how you could possibly have made the sarcasm any more obvious.... 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RUPERTKBD Posted January 22, 2021 Share Posted January 22, 2021 BTW: I think we should also trade Edler to Sportsnet/CBC for Bieksa and the rights to Stewie.... 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil_314 Posted January 22, 2021 Share Posted January 22, 2021 (edited) OP you forgot Schmidt, Hoglander, Podkolzin and 1st for Lucic, Horvat for Nichushkin (because big Vrussian winger, score many goal and play defense) and Miller for Alnefelt (he's obviously the solution to our goalie woes) and Mazanec's rights (or maybe he is...). Going to need that truculence, plus you know the future is overrated. Edited January 22, 2021 by Phil_314 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForzaTikare Posted January 22, 2021 Share Posted January 22, 2021 (edited) But... I thought we should trade Pettersson + Loui for Toffoli? Edited January 22, 2021 by ForzaTikare 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ImConfused Posted January 22, 2021 Author Share Posted January 22, 2021 14 minutes ago, Phil_314 said: OP you forgot Schmidt, Hoglander, Podkolzin and 1st for Lucic, Horvat for Nichushkin (because big Vrussian winger, score many goal and play defense) and Miller for Alnefelt (he's obviously the solution to our goalie woes) and Mazanec's rights (or maybe he is...). Going to need that truculence, plus you know the future is overrated. I'm sending a tweet to Benning to forward our posts to him as we speak. Good work, fellow Canuck loyalist! 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhillipBlunt Posted January 22, 2021 Share Posted January 22, 2021 1 hour ago, ImConfused said: Okay so it goes without saying that we also have to fire Green, Benning, and all the other coaches and probably the training staff too. Might as well fire the zamboni driver while we are at it as well, just to make sure we have a clean slate going forward. That said, I have the basis for two huge deals that could really right the sinking ship for the Canucks, and I am here to offer them for free to whoever our new incoming GM would be! Trade #1: To Calgary: Demko, Hughes To Vancouver: Markstrom, Tanev, 3rd round pick Why Vancouver does this: It's time to jettison our overrated prospects who are clearly busts, before Calgary is any the wiser. Also we recoup the 3rd round pick that JB WASTED in the Schmidt trade. Why Calgary does this: It's basically a free acquisition for them as they paid nothing to acquire Marky and Tanev, and they save some money off the salary cap from their over-expensive contracts. This trade is a classic example of buy low, sell high. Demko and Hughes are at their peak value now but soon will be considered damaged goods when the Canucks continue on their 50-ish game losing streak this season. Trade #2: To Montreal: Boeser, Petterson, 2021 first rd pick, 2022 first rd pick To Vancouver: Toffoli Why Vancouver does this: We get a clear upgrade on offense in the HAT TRICK MACHINE Tyler Toffoli, and again we are selling players while value is high. Pettersson was widely regarded as a top up and coming rookie in this league up until about 10 days ago, but now it's clear that somehow he's lost all his talent like in Space Jam. Boeser and the two firsts are sweeteners as obviously Montreal doesn't give up a guy that scores 5 goals in 2 games for cheap. Why Montreal does this: They get Pettersson as kind of a reclamation project, there's probably around a 2-3% chance that Petey returns to anything more than a shadow of his former self, but even at those odds MTL would be crazy not to take a flyer on Elias. Boeser is good for their AHL depth and the two first rounders can be used to draft whoever has the most french-sounding last name at the drafts. I think if we quickly pull the trigger on these two deals and firing our entire coaching and training staff, hell, even fire the lady that makes copies in the office and bring in someone with more grit like Dan Hamhuis or Ryan Kesler to replace her - then we will be right back on track for a huge winning streak and a subsequent Stanley Cup Parade after this season. Thoughts? Hide contents Please be respectful and do not "wat" react this post A work of art. Anyone wating this post, I feel for you. I truly do. By the way, the lady who makes copies is a total asshole. I've met her in line at the Costco across from Rogers. She always hoards the onions and relish. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack Fig Posted January 22, 2021 Share Posted January 22, 2021 Similar to when Nils Hoglander has a shower, this post is hogwash. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gurn Posted January 22, 2021 Share Posted January 22, 2021 1 hour ago, ImConfused said: Thoughts? Great start. Sadly a few people will think you are on the right track. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil_314 Posted January 22, 2021 Share Posted January 22, 2021 53 minutes ago, ImConfused said: I'm sending a tweet to Benning to forward our posts to him as we speak. Good work, fellow Canuck loyalist! 'Meanwhile, in the war room... "These are brilliant! Why didn't I think of these?! Time to call Brad..."' 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-AJ- Posted January 22, 2021 Share Posted January 22, 2021 I was respectful and didn't react with a "wat" reaction. 1 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Aladeen Posted January 22, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted January 22, 2021 I think we could squeeze Calgary for a bit more there maybe make them throw in Leivo and Domingue. But otherwise seems like fair hockey trades. 1 3 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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