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How do you deal with loneliness?


Dedalus

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3 minutes ago, J.I.A.H.N said:

More a joke, but it does work..............

 

get a puppy and go for a walk on a board walk

 

You will have more friends than you know what to do with...........

 

Seriously!

problem is everyone under 30 went out and got a covid puppy.

 

Maybe volunteer dog walker/sitter would be better? you get to still meet people and have none of the ongoing responsibility.

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3 minutes ago, J.I.A.H.N said:

@JM_

 

As I said above, great call, and you get the added bonus of meeting like minded people, who can tell great horror stories, of  dog incidences.......all people are smiling and getting fresh air at the same time...............an added bonus!

its a really good way to meet people in your building, so you would feel far less isolated.

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9 hours ago, Dedalus said:

(Mods, feel free to close or move this thread if we can't have threads like this here.)

 

To make a long story short, I had to move to Los Angeles for work in 2019. Previously, I had been jumping back and forth between Vancouver and LA, never staying long enough to make any real friends in LA, though. Right before the pandemic started, I moved to LA permanently for work. Working from home since the beginning of 2020 has made things worse in terms of my social life. I literally spend most of my time alone. I am fully vaccinated but it still kind of scares me to go out and be social. Even when I was in LA before, all my best friends were in Vancouver so I would constantly fly back to hang out with them, but with the pandemic, that's pretty hard to do now. It's also very difficult to meet people in LA and the pandemic has made it worse.

 

How do you deal with loneliness, especially now that the pandemic has made meeting people harder?

&^@# Covid, your vaccinated, stop being scared,

 

Get a hobby, join a activity group. get a pet, borrow a pet, volunteer and get out a make a difference. you will meet other people to socialize with.

 

try micro dosing shrooms

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I don't, not really, not in a meaningful way. I'm awful at meeting people and I've had friends move away over the last few years and I haven't really gotten around to replacing those local friendships. Not that you can, but you know what I mean. I know plenty of people, but I don't see em very often, adult life is that way I suppose. 

 

I've been on various forums since about 2004 so that's a thing. I wouldn't say I've made friends here, but there's rapport for sure. The internet provides plenty of options for connection, even if it's not necessarily the kind we crave. 

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One thing I will do is online gaming, specifically playing mmorpg's. I've found that if I find the right group to join in those games it can help ease times of lonliness in real life. It's never completely fixed things for me, but it does help. Plus, I can get an escape from real life through the game.

 

I know that there are people out there who think this doesn't count as a social life, but honestly I say don't listen to those people since they're likely judging something they've never experienced themselves. They're judging what is effectively unknown to them.

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11 hours ago, Dedalus said:

I don't have roommates. Coworkers seem to have their own circle of friends, because most of them are from LA or have been here for a very long time. I tried befriending one guy, but I think our personalities didn't really jibe. I found it difficult to connect with him outside of work.

 

I feel like I'm losing most of my friends in Vancouver, who I've known since I was a kid. I message them and they either reply months later or not at all. I know most will say that means they were never really my friends, but we were really good friends and spent most of the time together playing music and going out drinking and watching sports, even right before I moved to LA in 2019. They also have girlfriends or wives now, so that changes things.

 

Family is a tough one. I won't get too into it too much, but they're basically anti-Covid vaccines and lean more to the right on the political spectrum, so it's difficult to socialize with them. They're very different from me.

you seem very capable of discussing your feelings, why not journal? i'm an old man spending almost 90% of the time alone. i'm use to it now but  if i was younger, ild be drawing, painting and writing.  of course i still have visitors from my church and they do for me, all the things i can't do myself. whenever i feel sorry for myself i think of all those worse off. keep positive.

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You are very wise to reach out to a group of like minded people for suggestion and possible solutions regarding your situation.  You have received many interesting and practical ideas.  I hope you take advantage of some of these suggestions.  I would include one thing that has worked for me.  I always has lots of male friends when I was was heavily involved in sports as a younger person.  When I quit playing sports I quickly lost touch with these folks.  Several years ago I was persuaded by one of my former teaching colleagues to take up golf with a group of golfers he played with once a week   Golf was secondary to socializing with my new friends.  Expand your comfort zone ( i certainly had to) and be opento opportunities which come your way.  Don’t hesitate to use Google and type in exactly what you are looking for, eg, novice hiking groups in Los Angeles.  I wish you success in finding companionship.

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I'm a natural introvert and very independent. I enjoy doing things by myself and I don't really start conversations in my day-to-day life, outside of CDC. But people really like to start conversations with me, like at the grocery store, out walking, at the Kraken games. I may not start conversations, but I really enjoy listening to people. During the pandemic, it was easy for me to adjust to being at home. I'm sure being at home for all those months really messed with me. If you compared me now to two years ago, I over think things more now.

 

With my introverted self, I really going to the park, playing Tetris, drinking wine or champagne, taking trips pre pandemic, going on day trips pre pandemic, doing random things, going for walks, working on my quilt, hanging with the cat. Plus I live by myself and I enjoy that so much.

 

Yeah, that's me. 

 

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OP: Do you enjoy watching movies, playing video games or listening to music?  Do you/have you participated in any sports?  Do you like board games?  How old are you (approximate range)? 

 

As far as not feeling comfortable going out in public, if you're vaccinated there's really no use in worrying.  Covid is here to stay, so don't sacrifice your social life.  

 

 

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Btw to just get back to the actual question...  during Covid my answer was video games.  I made some really good friends that I spent hundreds and hundreds of hours chatting/playing games with.  They really helped me a lot as I live alone and was not enjoying the lockdown at all.  I'm not gonna lie, I was getting a bit annoyed when people that live with family/roommates would tell everyone to "just stay home!". 

 

Anyways I have given away my PS4 in the last few months and have decided to focus my free time on something other then gaming.  I do really miss chatting with my friends, but I think that I should spend that time exercising and maybe meet a girlfriend eventually.  Staying in my living room was not going to be conducive to that.  

 

I have also downloaded all of Star Trek: The Next Generation and I'm slowly getting through it.  Not the type for movies/tv shows usually but this is bringing back some major nostalgia.  

 

So OP hopefully it helps knowing that you're not the only one not enjoying the loneliness.  

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