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[Signing] Bruins Sign former Renounced Coyotes Draft Pick Mitchell Miller to ELC [UPDATE] BRUINS RESCIND CONTRACT


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8 minutes ago, -DLC- said:

I don't think it's necessary to compare despicable acts. Thing is, anything that degrades and humiliates another human, especially one with disabilities, is a bit of an emotional rape. It's about making someone feel powerless and helpless. Stripping them of their dignity.

 

Rape is the ultimate in that but it doesn't mean that other acts of degradation and using power to inflict trauma and pain aren't significantly deplorable as well. Instilling fear in someone in an ongoing basis can cause deep scars and lingering trauma. Life altering.

 

It's all messed up.

Very well said Deb. 

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15 minutes ago, MeanSeanBean said:

Odds post definitely read as they were minimizing survivors experience , if you want to continue to keep supporting that conversation that's up to you. I'm sorry for your experience.

How was I minimizing survivors experience?

 

Various forms of abuse have significant and lasting effects. Racial abuse causes psychological damage, perpetuates harmful stereotypes. Mental abuse erodes self-esteem, induces powerlessness. Physical abuse inflicts severe harm, impacting physical and emotional well-being. Sexual abuse causes immense trauma, with emotional, psychological, and physical consequences. Forcing someone to drink piss, then making them lick the bathroom stall, is a form of sexual abuse, it involves genitalia, making it inherently sexual.

 

Now take into consideration that this has happened throughout majority, if not, all of the victims childhood. It’s the length of time that makes it in the same stratosphere as rape.

 

I am making a comparison for argument sake the severity of Miller’s actions. If you think that  my original comment is somehow minimizing survivor experiences, then that is your opinion. That was simply not my intention.

Edited by Odd.
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9 minutes ago, Odd. said:

How was I minimizing survivors experience?

 

Various forms of abuse have significant and lasting effects. Racial abuse causes psychological damage, perpetuates harmful stereotypes. Mental abuse erodes self-esteem, induces powerlessness. Physical abuse inflicts severe harm, impacting physical and emotional well-being. Sexual abuse causes immense trauma, with emotional, psychological, and physical consequences. Forcing someone to drink piss, then making them lick the bathroom stall, is a form of sexual abuse, it involves genitalia, making it inherently sexual.

 

Now take into consideration that this has happened throughout majority, if not, all of the victims childhood. It’s the length of time that makes it in the same stratosphere as rape.

 

I am making a comparison for argument sake the severity of Miller’s actions. If you think that  my original comment is somehow minimizing survivor experiences, then that is your opinion. That was simply not my intention.

You said this was worse then rape. That was your quote. How are you even asking how that would be considered minimizing a rape survivors experience? There was zero reason what so ever to make the comparison in the first place.

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17 minutes ago, MeanSeanBean said:

You said this was worse than rape. That was your quote. How are you even asking how that would be considered minimizing a rape survivors experience?

How are you even equating me finding this to be as abhorrent as rape, or worse, as somehow me minimizing rape survivors? I mentioned the reasons why I think it’s worse. My fiance was raped. She even thinks what happened to Miller’s victim was arguably worse, hence why I even drew to the conclusion that it was worse. That’s not to minimize anyone else’s experience. Hell, that’s not to minimize someone else’s subjective experience and opinion that it isn’t in the same category as rape.
 

Mental, physical, racial, and sexual abuse was involved, for years, on a child with a disability. To me, more importantly, to my girlfriend, she thinks it’s worse than rape. I believe her. That’s the opinion I’ve come to drawn. You are free to think otherwise. I am not here to argue moral semantics.

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1 minute ago, Odd. said:

How are you even equating me finding this to be as abhorrent as rape, or worse, as somehow me minimizing rape survivors? I mentioned the reasons why I think it’s worse. My fiance was raped. She even thinks what happened to Miller’s victim was arguably worse, hence why I even drew to the conclusion that it was worse. That’s not to minimize anyone else’s experience. Hell, that’s not to minimize someone else’s subjective experience and opinion that it isn’t in the same category as rape.
 

Mental, physical, racial, and sexual abuse was involved, for years, on a child with a disability. To me, more importantly, to my girlfriend, she thinks it’s worse than rape. I believe her. That’s the opinion I’ve come to drawn. You are free to think otherwise. I am not here to argue moral semantics.

There was zero reason to make the comparison, and personally I think there is even less reason to broadcast a loved ones trauma over the internet to justify it.

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5 minutes ago, MeanSeanBean said:

There was zero reason to make the comparison, and personally I think there is even less reason to broadcast a loved ones trauma over the internet to justify it.

You’re a tool. How is it any different to canuck73 or Warhippy?

 

You have quite literally baited me into an argument about moral semantics and then you try and falsely equivocate that perhaps I am minimizing other peoples experience. I bring my own fiancé’s example as to where I’m coming from, and then you have the audacity to paint me out as some insensitive person.

 

I am not going to respond to you further. 

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12 minutes ago, Odd. said:

You’re a tool. How is it any different to canuck73 or Warhippy?

 

You have quite literally baited me into an argument about moral semantics and then you try and falsely equivocate that perhaps I am minimizing other peoples experience. I bring my own fiancé’s example as to where I’m coming from, and then you have the audacity to paint me out as some insensitive person.

 

I am not going to respond to you further. 

It's different because they were litterally all in response to you bringing it up in the first place...

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2 hours ago, MeanSeanBean said:

There was zero reason to make the comparison, and personally I think there is even less reason to broadcast a loved ones trauma over the internet to justify it.

Trauma is trauma. It's not your job, nor mine, to tell people what is more or less traumatic than the other. Let's face it. We are very privileged compared to most people. This IS a good thing, but we have to be mindful not to let our privilege cloud our judgement on these situations.

 

Edited by Dazzle
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37 minutes ago, Dazzle said:

Trauma is trauma. It's not your job, nor mine, to tell people what is more or less traumatic than the other. Let's face it. We are very privileged compared to most people. This IS a good thing, but we have to be mindful not to let our privilege cloud our judgement on these situations.

 

This entire conversation started because I replied to someone who was stating that something was more traumatic then something else, the very thing you are lecturing me on.... Why are you putting wuts and replying to me.

 

You are saying one thing, yet agreeing with the the person who directly compared trauma to start this entire conversation. The very thing you just told me not to do...

 

Further more, on the last page didn't you say "It's arguably just as traumatic." When comparing 2 things? Does that not fall under your own premises of not speaking of what's more or less traumatic..

 

My entire premise in this conversation is we shouldn't be comparing trauma.. What you are saying makes no sense at all dazzle, can you not see that?

 

Actually, nevermind.. the more I thought about your post, I realized I don't care. It makes so little sense to me your justification actually doesn't matter. I'm gonna toss you on the ignore for a bit, we haven't had any conversations worth having for as long as I can remember. Take care.

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2 hours ago, MeanSeanBean said:

This entire conversation started because I replied to someone who was stating that something was more traumatic then something else, the very thing you are lecturing me on.... Why are you putting wuts and replying to me.

 

You are saying one thing, yet agreeing with the the person who directly compared trauma to start this entire conversation. The very thing you just told me not to do...

 

Further more, on the last page didn't you say "It's arguably just as traumatic." When comparing 2 things? Does that not fall under your own premises of not speaking of what's more or less traumatic..

 

My entire premise in this conversation is we shouldn't be comparing trauma.. What you are saying makes no sense at all dazzle, can you not see that?

 

Actually, nevermind.. the more I thought about your post, I realized I don't care. It makes so little sense to me your justification actually doesn't matter. I'm gonna toss you on the ignore for a bit, we haven't had any conversations worth having for as long as I can remember. Take care.

This type of post reminds me about just how bad online messages are. I'll readily admit that my posting tone has involved stirring the pot a bit in the past, something I have been currently trying to work on reducing or getting rid of. The post you are replying to was my attempt to write a reasonable sounding message, but I guess I still failed at that.

 

I think I was agreeing with you, but perhaps my reply to you made it seem like I was disagreeing with you.

 

There is nothing fallacious with saying something is just as traumatic as another event. I don't know what your issue is with that. Your post is pretty incoherent. Or maybe I am just not understanding what you're trying to say.

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10 hours ago, MeanSeanBean said:

There was zero reason to make the comparison, and personally I think there is even less reason to broadcast a loved ones trauma over the internet to justify it.

We're at a point in time where there's no need to hide or be shameful about trauma that's been inflicted on us (or our loved ones) by others. The stigma of that is part of the problem, not the solution. People have had to keep things tucked away in closets and it's time to bust down that door.

 

I'm not picking sides here as I joined this conversation late and haven't gone back to read through it all. There's a good discussion happening.

 

But my two cents on this is that the more we "broadcast" this stuff the more it becomes out in the open as a topic of conversation that is likely more helpful than hurtful. Often a perpetrator's MO involves "don't tell anyone" and great manipulation. It's ok to talk about it, there's no shame for the victims and this helps place shame and ownership it where it belongs - with the perpetrators. It can help victims regain some of the power that's been stripped way TO broadcast it. It applies to many different forms of abuse and acts of (mental) and physical torture. We don't have to lock it up in a vault of shame.

 

That's part of healing....to not have to bury it deep and, with that, hold the pain in long term storage. To be able to acknowledge what has happened in order to meet it head on.  

 

What you (or others) think about revealing this stuff isn't relevant...it's not your story to broadcast (or not). How you receive that information is your deal...if it makes you uncomfortable.....it should. It's not an easy topic of discussion but it's a necessary one.

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4 minutes ago, -DLC- said:

We're at a point in time where there's no need to hide or be shameful about trauma that's been inflicted on us (or our loved ones) by others. The stigma of that is part of the problem, not the solution. People have had to keep things tucked away in closets and it's time to bust down that door.

 

I'm not picking sides here as I joined this conversation late and haven't gone back to read through it all. There's a good discussion happening.

 

But my two cents on this is that the more we "broadcast" this stuff the more it becomes out in the open as a topic of conversation that is likely more helpful than hurtful. Often a perpetrator's MO involves "don't tell anyone" and great manipulation. It's ok to talk about it, there's no shame for the victims and this helps place shame and ownership it where it belongs - with the perpetrators. It can help victims regain some of the power that's been stripped way TO broadcast it. It applies to many different forms of abuse and acts of (mental) and physical torture. We don't have to lock it up in a vault of shame.

 

That's part of healing....to not have to bury it deep and, with that, hold the pain in long term storage. To be able to acknowledge what has happened in order to meet it head on.  

I see where you are coming from, but can't agree with that. I think talking about trauma and mental health issues openly is incredibly important. I have always been open here within my comforts of discussing with strangers, and my rarely used work instagram is dedicated to being open about my mental health struggles and creating conversation.

 

But I don't think talking about someone else's experience to justify a point is right at all. I don't think it's right to openly share someone's trauma without their consent, even if they are generally open about it themselves. 

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7 minutes ago, MeanSeanBean said:

I see where you are coming from, but can't agree with that. I think talking about trauma and mental health issues openly is incredibly important. I have always been open here within my comforts of discussing with strangers, and my rarely used work instagram is dedicated to being open about my mental health struggles and creating conversation.

 

But I don't think talking about someone else's experience to justify a point is right at all. I don't think it's right to openly share someone's trauma without their consent, even if they are generally open about it themselves. 

But if they have that consent (which I'd hope they do) then I feel it's perfectly ok because there's support in numbers. The more people surrounding the victim who DO speak out on their behalf and tell their story without the "hush hush, keep it hidden" stuff the better.  Kick that door down.

 

And in going back to read a bit more....let's be clear here. Rape isn't just a sexual assault...it's an assault on all fronts. Although sure, rape involves a sexual act it's more complex than that and a sick, deviant act. It's asserting power and control over someone vulnerable.

 

Which is also the case with other forms of torture and abuse. Something doesn't have to be sexual to be awful and, particularly in the case of someone disabled, can be equally deplorable. 

 

Anyhow, it's a really important discussion to have and there's really no right or wrong commenting as we work through it all together. The more this stuff is talked about the better.

 

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Just now, -DLC- said:

But if they have that consent (which I'd hope they do) then I feel it's perfectly ok because there's support in numbers. The more people surrounding the victim who DO speak out on their behalf and tell their story without the "hush hush, keep it hidden" stuff the better.  Kick that door down.

 

And in going back to read a bit more....let's be clear here. Rape isn't just a sexual assault...it's an assault on all fronts. Although sure, rape involves a sexual act it's more complex than that and a sick, deviant act. It's asserting power and control over someone vulnerable.

 

Which is also the case with other forms of torture and abuse. Something doesn't have to be sexual to be awful and, particularly in the case of someone disabled, can be equally deplorable. 

 

Anyhow, it's a really important discussion to have and there's really no right or wrong as we work through it all together. The more this stuff is talked about the better.

 

Sure, I would complete agree with the first statement. If they did receive consent then I would be totally fine with someone using a loved ones experience as a learning opportunity.

 

But this entire conversation stemmed from the poster saying this act of bullying was worse then rape. Then backed it up by saying a loved one was raped and even they said this bullying was worse. I just have an extremely hard time wrapping my head around how this conversation would have played out, and then how they would have said "hey is it cool if I talk to random people on the internet about how you think this case of bullying is worse then being raped"? It's totally possible that's exactly how it went down, but in my experience with people suffering trauma they would not have openly said "yeah my experience was terrible, but that sounds so much worse, go ahead tell strangers."

 

I have been one of the more vocal people on this forum about talking about the results sexual assault. In multiple different threads over the years from Virtanen to Beach, I have always inserted myself if people aren't taking it seriously. I always back up how horrifying these act are with statistics and numbers. Never once have I mentioned why I'll spend hours online trying to educate people, because that doesn't feel like my story to tell.

 

I could be entirely miss reading this entire situation, but with how everything played out, that's just my opinion. I respect you for jumping in to try to clarify, but how this conversation played out left a terrible taste in my mouth and that hasn't changed.

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