Team Tease - JAN.30.08
Entry posted by Sunny Dhillon
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<table width=75% align=center><tr><td><img src="http://cdn.nhl.com/canucks/images/upload/2007/09/sunny_blog.jpg" style="float: left; padding-right: 4px;">With all due respect to Adriana Lima, she’s got nothing on this Canucks team.
Lima, of course, is the international supermodel best known for her work with Victoria’s Secret. A simple Flickr search of her name produces hundreds of images of the scantily-clad Brazilian bombshell, not to mention a heart attack for whoever’s doing the typing. (I’m writing from the hospital at this very moment.)
But what you might not know about Adriana – that’s right, we’re on a first-name basis – unless you read GQ is that she’s the world’s most famous self-professed virgin.
That’s right, the woman you’ve seen prancing down the runway in little more than a bra, panties, and angel wings has yet to let anyone reach fourth base.
That led to the inevitable: men all around the world unofficially crowned Lima as this planet’s greatest tease.
But in a stunning twist, Adriana’s been knocked from her throne. The reason? January’s Vancouver Canucks are a far bigger tease than she ever will be.
<img src="http://cdn.nhl.com/canucks/images/upload/2008/01/JAN2908_Canucks-Stars05_t.jpg" style="float: right; padding-right: 4px;" />Take last night’s game against Dallas, for example.
Steve Ott made it 4-1 Stars seven and a half minutes into the third period.
Most Canucks fans thought, “Game over.”
I, essentially, thought the same thing. But my slightly-underdeveloped brain added a twist. “Game over, they’re going to lose 4-3.”
Sure enough, Ryan Kesler made it 4-2 less than four minutes later. Markus Naslund then made it 4-3 with 81 seconds to play.
How’d I know that would happen? Do I possess some sort of psychic ability? It’s certainly possible; sometimes when I’m playing Super Mario, I can sense an enemy coming before he even enters the screen.
But the more likely explanation is that we’ve seen this show from the Canucks before. A lot.
Down 3-1 to the Wild on January 21, Taylor Pyatt brought Vancouver within a goal by beating Niklas Backstrom with 29 seconds left in the third. It was as close as Vancouver got.
<img src="http://cdn.nhl.com/canucks/images/upload/2008/01/JAN1908_Kings-Canucks16_t.jpg" style="float: left; padding-left: 4px;" />Down 4-2 to the Kings on January 19, Mason Raymond capitalized on an LA turnover and beat Jason LaBarbera with just over four minutes to play. It was as close as Vancouver got.
Down 4-2 to Phoenix on January 11, Pyatt again brought Vancouver within one, this time with eight and a half minutes remaining. It was as close as Vancouver got.
Are you seeing the theme? I hope so, because my arms are getting tired from beating this dead horse.
Vancouver will do just enough to get back in the game and make you think, “Hey, maybe they’re going to pull this one out.” But then? Bupkis.
Despite what the local media might tell you, Vancouver’s problem isn’t just putting the puck in the net. They’ve proven they can do that. Vancouver’s problem is putting the puck in the net at the right time.
When it’s early in the first period and the Canucks have numerous chances to grab the early lead, they can’t finish.
<img src="http://cdn.nhl.com/canucks/images/upload/2008/01/JAN112008_Canucks-Coyotes10_t.jpg" style="float: right; padding-right: 4px;" />When it’s late in the third and they’re down by two or three, Vancouver’s forwards turn into a group of Ovechkins.
Whether they’re simply gripping their sticks too tightly when the game is on the line, or playing with a certain looseness when down by more than one goal, this Canucks team has shown its ability to get to the clutch; they just can’t quite come through during it.
As a result, Vancouver’s earned its title as the world’s greatest tease.
It’s one contest I’m hoping they’ll lose in the very near future.
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