Mike Macri's Blog

Hilarious! Keep 'em coming!

6. To that really thirsty guy sitting in the centre of the row: I know beer is important to you. It's important to all of us. But as much as I appreciate your desire to get liquored up before the lineups form at intermission, I didn't spend 40 bucks so I could miss an important play because I'm looking at your ass while you're trying to push past me en route to the concessions. Sit down and wait for the goddamned whistle.

7. To that guy who likes to bang on the glass every single time a player skates past:

the players aren't paying any attention to you and there's probably a better way to announce

your virginity to the world. If you really want someone to notice you, try banging your head

against the glass next time, preferably till it bleeds.

I don’t think I’m ‘That Guy’. Gee, I’ve only been to my first Canucks game last week. I've watched plenty on TV over the years though. But then again, would I have the chance to go more often, you know, I think I could become ‘That Guy’! Actually, I’d love to see ‘That Guy’ all over GM Place, although with a certain respect to those around you I totally agree.

After all, I’d say that at least half the reason to go to a game is to be part of the crowd experience to put it simply. I’d hate to sit near those that dread ‘That Guy’, and feel like I can’t display my enjoyment of the game on the pretext that I’m not a master of the game, that I can’t get excited being on the Jumbotron displaying what ever I want to display the least of which a dreaded #1 (I’d tend to question the person’s mental stability to use any other ranking, but then again, I support free-speech and it could actually be quite funny), that I need to comply with a specific dress code that forbids me from wearing another team’s jersey because I love the game so much that I go see the other teams play.

Ugh, I read a lot of contained bitterness in this letter. These hockey games must be an absolutely horrendous experience and I feel for you.

Well wake up my friend. This isn’t the Symphony. Expand your boundaries and open up a bit to the lesser of you. It’s OK. Not every one will judge you under this same arrogant light, and then again, for those that would, you’ll know all about it from your vantage point. If you can accomplish this, well chapeau. I would then suggest that you try to go even further:

1- Shout your knowledge to the players a little more. You might find that it actually feels good to let it out a bit during a tense game as opposed to mumbling it, because you do mumble it don't you. And you might impress those around you and even teach them a thing or two.

2- Try to get on the camera for once and put up a good and supportive face for your team. (Most) fans will love it and so will the TV audience. Or be brave and show a nice #4. But do it.

3- Don’t be so blend, try wearing your team’s paraphernalia as it may make you feel a bit more part of the crowd and the team experience and help bring more joy around you. May I suggest boxer shorts for a more subtle start?

4- Lastly, next time ‘That Guy’ attempts to chant again, be a little more assertive and join-in at his first attempt and make it a successful one, instead of letting him try 32 times. If still painful to do, it will certainly be of a much shorter duration.

If you’ll have none of it, then maybe this isn’t your place. The TV/radio may be more appropriate.

If fans shy away from being ‘That Guy’, what an apathetic crowd we’d have. Oh, wait a second, that’s pretty much what we have, sorry. I’m the one who appears to be out of place. Might as well just stay away from this lethargic crowd and watch the game on TV and save a bundle since without a passionate crowd, the game is better with the play-by-play, stats, and all the commentary that brings depth to the game.

But one thing is for certain though; those who dare to be ‘That Guy’ are having a lot more fun than you. I only wish I could afford to be ‘Him’.

I don’t think I’m ‘That Guy’. Gee, I’ve only been to my first Canucks game last week. I've watched plenty on TV over the years though. But then again, would I have the chance to go more often, you know, I think I could become ‘That Guy’! Actually, I’d love to see ‘That Guy’ all over GM Place, although with a certain respect to those around you I totally agree.

After all, I’d say that at least half the reason to go to a game is to be part of the crowd experience to put it simply. I’d hate to sit near those that dread ‘That Guy’, and feel like I can’t display my enjoyment of the game on the pretext that I’m not a master of the game, that I can’t get excited being on the Jumbotron displaying what ever I want to display the least of which a dreaded #1 (I’d tend to question the person’s mental stability to use any other ranking, but then again, I support free-speech and it could actually be quite funny), that I need to comply with a specific dress code that forbids me from wearing another team’s jersey because I love the game so much that I go see the other teams play.

Ugh, I read a lot of contained bitterness in this letter. These hockey games must be an absolutely horrendous experience and I feel for you.

Well wake up my friend. This isn’t the Symphony. Expand your boundaries and open up a bit to the lesser of you. It’s OK. Not every one will judge you under this same arrogant light, and then again, for those that would, you’ll know all about it from your vantage point. If you can accomplish this, well chapeau. I would then suggest that you try to go even further:

1- Shout your knowledge to the players a little more. You might find that it actually feels good to let it out a bit during a tense game as opposed to mumbling it, because you do mumble it don't you. And you might impress those around you and even teach them a thing or two.

2- Try to get on the camera for once and put up a good and supportive face for your team. (Most) fans will love it and so will the TV audience. Or be brave and show a nice #4. But do it.

3- Don’t be so blend, try wearing your team’s paraphernalia as it may make you feel a bit more part of the crowd and the team experience and help bring more joy around you. May I suggest boxer shorts for a more subtle start?

4- Lastly, next time ‘That Guy’ attempts to chant again, be a little more assertive and join-in at his first attempt and make it a successful one, instead of letting him try 32 times. If still painful to do, it will certainly be of a much shorter duration.

If you’ll have none of it, then maybe this isn’t your place. The TV/radio may be more appropriate.

If fans shy away from being ‘That Guy’, what an apathetic crowd we’d have. Oh, wait a second, that’s pretty much what we have, sorry. I’m the one who appears to be out of place. Might as well just stay away from this lethargic crowd and watch the game on TV and save a bundle since without a passionate crowd, the game is better with the play-by-play, stats, and all the commentary that brings depth to the game.

But one thing is for certain though; those who dare to be ‘That Guy’ are having a lot more fun than you. I only wish I could afford to be ‘Him’.

You're definitely that guy. Or, at least one who takes a humour piece a little too seriously.