BabychStache Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 i just downloaded and watched the one where they had the 3 american cars in the states. Amazing, I own an 05 Vette and i am happy that Clarkson finally fell in love with them. They are built to do what he just did with it. He now understands. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armada Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 ^He actually was a fan of it before, check out the good bad and the ugly by Clarkson, funny, and you'll probably adore it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
This Devils Workday Posted November 18, 2008 Author Share Posted November 18, 2008 I have to admit Mark Wahlberg wasn't bad, and I loved that V8 Blender and Clarkson's other idea Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
This Devils Workday Posted November 19, 2008 Author Share Posted November 19, 2008 Hammond: to get to this new car, i had to go to Toyota City, which is a whole city owned by Toyota. imagine Birmingham, but full of Toyotas. Now they are a very polite people so i'm saying this quietly. we have had something similar in the UK for some time. called a wheelchair. hip young things will forsake walking entirely and cruise around in these at night, downloading tunes to their iPod from their iReal. so you'll have a whole community of futuristic wheelchairs, going around talking to one another, communicating about one another, like a sort of Stephen Hawking Facebook. sport mode! iReal interface May: how fast does it go? 'cause i was in Rotherham and i could have done with that in cross-country. Hammond: if you had one of those i'd love to have the remote control for it. Clarkson: Captain Blur! Hammond: look at him go! oh James, knowing the scissor factory, you'll hurt yourself. May: can you kick yourself in the nuts? Clarkson: we're definitely getting you one of those. Clarkson: that jacket, how big was the bet? Hammond: pretty big May: soon we'll have that Tory transport bloke Clarkson: whose name is?? crowd member: Theresa Villiers Clarkson: who? how can you know that? because there's only a finite amount of space in your head. so if he's got that in it, what's come out? Hammond: how to dress properly Clarkson: give me one good reason why that won't work Hammond on the Aston Martin One-77: it's a striking looking thing and i think it goes to show how in tune with the times Aston Martin are. it really is a car for the moment. 7.3 liter V12 Clarkson: oh i'm glad about that. i must get a hundred calls a day from people saying, i've got to have at least 7.3L and 12 cyclinders Hammond: price, 1.2 million pounds Clarkson: literally this morning, 30 people called up - i'm not spending a penny more than 1.2mill on my next car Hammond: aston have got it bang on right because the world right now is full of stockbrokers desperate for something to blow their enormous bonus on. Clarkson: pretty soon, Aston Martin are going to be selling more keyrings than they are cars. Hammond: actually, a hundred potential customers have written to them to express their interest. Clarkson: a hundred? Hammond: yeah, written in crayon, i suspect Clarkson: good news! they've done an off-road version of the Dacia Sanderro! don't be fooled by the Renault badge, that's a Dacia, that baby! May: what the hell are you on about? Clarkson: it's Dacia! <to audience member> it's a Dacia! i know it says Renault, i just said that. you got a beard in your ears as well? why do ginger people always grow more of it on their faces? Hammond: can i just ask, you see the show last week, Will Young was the guest. and i don't know if anybody else noticed, but when he first sat down, Jeremy was not really bothered, didn't know his name, didn't know what to talk about. next minute he's going all doe-eyed and looking at him talking about interior design - oh i love cushions as well, i'm having my house done up. really? you have a Mini? they're lovely Will. May (humming): huh huh huh huh.. Hammond: Jeremy's in love.. Clarkson: are you suggesting Will Young is gay? Hammond: he is Clarkson: it's just my gaydar doesn't work as well as yours Clarkson: this is a field of unsold Landrovers. now do you know why they're unsold? Hammond: well no one's got any money. Clarkson: no. look at the colours. that's the range of colour that Landrover does. now if you go down to Homebase, to paint your walls, you can have any colour you like for a fiver. May: actually you can go in with that jacket <points to Hammond's jacket> well maybe not. you can go in with this shirt <points to his watermelon/maroon/green striped shirt> and you could say, i want that colour but a bit more orange and they can scan it with a thing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
This Devils Workday Posted November 19, 2008 Author Share Posted November 19, 2008 Clarkson: what i've got here is the Audi brochure for the A8, a 70,000 pound car. range of colours available, there you go. Hammond: they've printed it in black and white! Clarkson: for an extra two thousand four hundred pounds, they will paint it in any colour you like from that chart (rainbow coloured spectrum) Hammond: oh sir, wants it in visible light does he? May: what you need to do is buy a BMW X5, because they understand this problem. they have a special which they call "BMW Individual - the higher your standard, the less room there is for compromise." as an upshot of that, they offer it in...black, silver, silver and black! Hammond: gentlemen, you're getting hot under your tweed collars about this. can it just say, i know a little bit about this, and they have to plan their paint colours years in advance because they have to test to make sure that each colour works on the plastic and the metal. Clarkson: rubbish, what you're saying is, it has to be the same colour whether it is on plastic or metal. no, because i was painting my Citroen the other day, and the paint was exactly the same colour on the wall as it was on the wooden skirting board. and on my hand. and on the sole of my shoe. and subsequently on the stair carpet, all the same colour. May: Finland. according to a study by Leicester university, the sixth happiest country in the world. Finns also top the world table for coffee drinking, and they borrow more library books per head than any nation on earth. which is all very interesting, but it doesn't explain this: there's a popular saying in motorsport - if you want to win, employ a Finn. this sparsely populated country has produced more rally champions, 7 in total, than any other nation. it is also produced more F1 champions per head than anywhere else. May (impersonating Murray Walker): it's Hakkinen, he's going through the left-hander! May: after we'd demolished all his cones, i took took Mika out on the proper course, which he found...relaxing. May: and they're also quite reserved, the Finns, and you famously when you were a Formula 1 driver and they'd ask you a complicated and you just say, "Yes." Mika: yes. May: the reason i'm asking is because i wondered if i might be, in some way, Finnish, myself? i don't like noisy people, so does that make me Finnish? Mika: yes. May: at home, i quite like to have the spanners in my toolbox in order of size, so that i can always find the right one. is that quite Finnish? Mika: yes, it is, very much. personally, that's what i do if you're talking about toolbox and everything has to be very organised. May: i like to have the air vents on my car all pointing the same way exactly. is that Finnish? Mika: uh....no. i think Mika is ready to run away.. May: but frankly when all the other drivers started to arrive, i stopped worrying about the skills. bloke over there is about 85. and alongside him, the grid featured some housewives, a child, a teenager...and Bill Oddie. surely this can't be that difficult. that girl next to me should be doing her maths homework. May: now normally, i'd be happy to stay there, in the nice comfy ditch. but that's not what Mika would have wanted. it was time to summon up some Sisu. May: and in the end, i finished somewhere near the middle. i think all my top level Finnish motorsport training has made me exactly average. but that was average in Finland - anywhere else, and i'd have been brilliant. Clarkson: we know that nobody is buying V8 cars anymore. and i find that very sad; i don't want V8's to disappear into the pages of history. so how's this for an idea - if you're not going to use V8's to power cars, how about using them to power something else. like, for instance, a food blender! this is the 6.2 liter engine that you would normally put in a Corvette, i see no reason why you couldn't put it in a kitchen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
This Devils Workday Posted November 19, 2008 Author Share Posted November 19, 2008 May's hair doubles as earmuffs Hammond: so what can you blend with it? Clarkson: i could blend you if i wanted to. but what i'm actually going to do, is blend some beef. this is going to be a man's V8 smoothie. Hammond: is that beef still got bones in it? Clarkson: yes. and then, i'm going to put some chillies in. this is bovril, because that's a V8 man's drink. Hammond: that's a collection of manly ingredients Clarkson: tabasco <hammond gestures to add more. Clarkson poors the whole cup full> just a dash! and i think, for added bite, er, brick. Hammond: is this going to work, or is the top going to come off and we'll have a really hard time explaining to the ambulance people how he's got beef bone antlers stuck in his head. Clarkson: it needs a name Hammond: we should call it "desperate shag in a skip" Clarkson: have you tried it? Hammond: yeah! Clarkson: 'cause that will put testes on your chest Hammond: it's put hair on my eyeballs! Clarkson: i'm not sure this works May: i've got the name for it - the bloody awful! we are all Stig Hammond: weirdly, it's one of the few cars ever made that us three all like. stop, Avantime! May: this is what it's like being a dog Clarkson: while it can turn heads, it struggles to turn corners. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
This Devils Workday Posted November 19, 2008 Author Share Posted November 19, 2008 Clarkson: any moment now, Monkey and Wrench over there are going to realise they've made a catastrophic mistake... May: oh hang on...the calipers are too big for the wheels. the boys decide to have an argument over what to modify while The Stig looks on. Clarkson: and then we set about replacing the heavy glass roof. it's four and a half hammers across. Clarkson: now i suppose at this point, you two will kill me if i say power. Hammond: ooh, i don't know, why don't you say it and let's see. Clarkson: no, look, James, just old fashioned tuning - cylinder heads, camshafts, inlet manifolds. you could get filthy dirty.. Hammond: think of that, all night long, an all-nighter in the workshop... Clarkson: all those nuts and bolts you could name and line up Hammond: take spanners out, put spanners back in order Clarkson: and i promise we wouldn't gallus domesticus about, we do everything you ask us to do. i promise May: anything? Clarkson: anything. May: including leaving the workshop and not coming back until i finished Clarkson: just leaving you alone. all through the night. May: can i have a bag of chips? Clarkson: yes! i'll buy you a bag of chips May: alright. Clarkson: yesssssss! May: so it had come to this - all our hopes now rested on Jeremy's carpentry. Clarkson: hey wait a minute, this is something i've always wanted to do. i've worked in television for 20 years and never had the chance yet, okay? May: Back to the Studio! Clarkson: that's my line! what i wanted to say! at least it's better than last week's Fiat AND a Lotus Elise next week, James does his first powertest! We Await Slow's Track Experiment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShootOut4 Posted November 19, 2008 Share Posted November 19, 2008 I cant beleive they took a sip of the stuff from the blender. It contained brick and bones yo... not to mention raw meat... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
This Devils Workday Posted November 20, 2008 Author Share Posted November 20, 2008 I cant beleive they took a sip of the stuff from the blender. It contained brick and bones yo... not to mention raw meat... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armada Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Well at least he used his cooking skills Gordon Ramsay taught him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
This Devils Workday Posted November 20, 2008 Author Share Posted November 20, 2008 Well at least he used his cooking skills Gordon Ramsay taught him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
This Devils Workday Posted November 23, 2008 Author Share Posted November 23, 2008 for Aussies: Top Gear season 11 starts tomorrow! good riddance TGA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
triangulate Posted November 23, 2008 Share Posted November 23, 2008 just saw the ad (2 hrs ago) thought to post then thought..naaaaaaaaaaaaaah, knife weilding tdw will just say 'like totally dl'ed them all...pwned!' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
This Devils Workday Posted November 23, 2008 Author Share Posted November 23, 2008 just saw the ad (2 hrs ago) thought to post then thought..naaaaaaaaaaaaaah, knife weilding tdw will just say 'like totally dl'ed them all...pwned!' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShootOut4 Posted November 24, 2008 Share Posted November 24, 2008 Lol, economy drives. Imagine if jerm wasnt messing about for a good portion of the race o_O Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
This Devils Workday Posted November 24, 2008 Author Share Posted November 24, 2008 Lol, economy drives. Imagine if jerm wasnt messing about for a good portion of the race o_O Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
otherwise Posted November 24, 2008 Share Posted November 24, 2008 Thing I wonder now is how much gas is actually in your tank when the needle is on E, because for both Clarkson and Hammond both appeared to have empty tanks and would barely make it(if at all) and then after they found that Clarksons could have gone a lot farther. Anyway I liked how the zondaF beat the veyron Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
This Devils Workday Posted November 25, 2008 Author Share Posted November 25, 2008 Thing I wonder now is how much gas is actually in your tank when the needle is on E, because for both Clarkson and Hammond both appeared to have empty tanks and would barely make it(if at all) and then after they found that Clarksons could have gone a lot farther. Anyway I liked how the zondaF beat the veyron 'round the track. but mostly Hammonds reaction. lol. I also liked James' PPPPPPOOOOWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEERRRRRRR!!!!!! test. and how it helped when he wore that white helmet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShootOut4 Posted November 25, 2008 Share Posted November 25, 2008 Spoiler tags? If people havnt seen the new one or dont want it to get ruined, they shouldnt venture into this thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
This Devils Workday Posted November 25, 2008 Author Share Posted November 25, 2008 Spoiler tags? If people havnt seen the new one or dont want it to get ruined, they shouldnt venture into this thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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