In this thread, speak only in limericks

[Master 112]

I really like chocolate cake

It's tasty and easy to bake

It fills up my belly

Pies are too smelly

Chocolate cake is yours to make.

[avelanch]

Since Bertuzzi Babe has stepped in,

my arguments must have been thin,

therefore I'll apologize to the Sultan,

who knows I didn't want to insult him,

which is why he's gonna shake my fin.

[BruinsForCup2011]

The meter makes Peter an eater

He'll defeat her like Derek Jeter

You dance and you prance

With a lance and a glance

At your new neighbors bird-feeder

[Sultan of Sarcasm]

I cannot believe it is so

But people do need the down low

It's iambic feet

That make up the beat

Try to keep up with this show

In this line there oughta be three

Sound it off and you'll see

Now there are two

Don't get it askew

And you might just catch up to me.

[BruinsForCup2011]

I cannot believe it is so

But people do need the down low

It's iambic feet

That make up the beat

Try to keep up with this show

In this line there oughta be three

Sound it off and you'll see

Now there are two

Don't get it askew

And you might just catch up to me.

[BruinsForCup2011]

Thanks Qris for making this thread,

And Sultan for not leaving it dead

With a whimper, not a bang

A shhhh, not a clang

In shame I will now hang my head.

[daniel_canuck]

I once read through this whole thread,

"this is kinda stupid" i said,

but i'll still take part,

in this useless art,

to keep this topic well fed.

[Canuckletux]

Your meter is horribly bad,

or perhaps it's really just sad.

There's too many beats,

so get under your sheets,

and cry 'till you're face has turned red.

[Bertuzzi Babe]

Now look we've awakened the bear

Who's likely to be so unfair

Perhaps she should toke

Or learn how to joke

Or simply spend time elsewhere.

(You know that I say this in jest

We all know that you're simply the best

But it had to be said

Don't cry on your bed

This is not a thing more than a test.)

[BruinsForCup2011]

A sow once disturbed while a-toke

Found herself at the butt of a joke

She giggled in rhyme

And said "One more time"

This Sultan's an ok sort of bloke!

Amid the swirls of blue smoke

She lamented that those who doth poke

A mods furry rump

Should be bent over a stump

And flogged til they're feeling quite heartbroke

For this mod's heart is really quite tender

(You'd know if you ever did meet her)

It's those who abuse

Rules 12 down to two's

That don't meet her side that is better!

[>you]

i had a limmerick of mine published in a poetry book.

[Super19]

i had a limmerick of mine published in a poetry book.

[>you]

BAh! You can't even spell limerick!

Oh wait, you really can't

[Super19]

yeah im horrible in english. but i really did have on published, a short story too.

[egatti]

There once was a man from Surrey

who tried to get out in a hurry

Oh! what a mess

shot at a wedding no less

and now can't enjoy his curry

[Stuntnuck]

There once was a man from Surrey

who tried to get out in a hurry

Oh! what a mess

shot at a wedding no less

and now can't enjoy his curry

[Sultan of Sarcasm]

I am a big fan of this thread

Can't seem to let it go dead

It's so full of win

It's almost a sin

So let's keep it going instead.

I'm thankful to Qris for the start

These musings do come from the heart

I'm such a huge fan

Of this masterplan

To set smart and dumb far apart.

[Qris]

This early, I have to decline

So I'll post some gems found online

While I do love this thread

My brain is quite dead

But later I'll post some of mine.

There once was a man named Bertold

Who drank beer when the weather grew cold

As he reached for his cup...

"NEEEEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP!!!"

Oh, snap! You just got limerickrolled!

If you catch a Chinchilla in Chile

And cut off its beard, willy-nilly

You can honestly say

That you have just made

A Chilean Chinchilla's chin chilly

A young psychic midget named Marge

Went to jail with the most heinous charge

But despite lock and key

The next day she broke free

And the headlines said "Small Medium at Large"

A history grad student, Marta,

mis-clicked as she browsed on Encarta.

Instead of King Midas,

there appeared Leonidas --

"Phrygia? Madame, THIS IS SPARTA!"

There once was an old man of Lyme

Who married three wives at a time;

When asked "Why a third?"

He replied, "One's absurd!

And bigamy, sir, is a crime."

The bustard's an exquisite fowl,

Without any reason to growl.

It escapes what would be,

Illegitimacy,

By the grace of a fortunate vowel.

A friend of mine -- Charlie by name

Is a strategist with deadly aim.

He wants you to know

(So I'll say 'ere I go)

That you, friend, have just Lost The Game.

A flea and a fly in a flue

Were imprisoned, so what could they do?

Said the fly, "Let us flee!"

"Let us fly," said the flea,

So they flew through a flaw in the flue

A poet whose friends called him Steve

Once showed quite a will to achieve

His skill grew so strong

That his poems grew long

And he sadly was forced to abbrev.

[avelanch]

Work from home was what I was to do

But My comp decided to be poo

I drove in to work

This thing is berserk

Now, my work I can actually do.

[egatti]

There once was a man named SOS

who didn't know why he's a mess

he was slightly confused

but now he's amused

for all that he needed was a dress

There was a girl quite sick

who thought of a vicious trick

she went down the river

threw puppies in without a shiver

if I seen her I would give her a drop-kick