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College Student Wins Stalking Order Against Parents

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College Student Wins Stalking Order Against Parents

By LINSEY DAVIS and KELLY HAGAN | Good Morning AmericaFri, Dec 28, 2012 3:46 AM EST

http://gma.yahoo.com/college-student-wins-stalking-order-against-parents-084658542--abc-news-parenting.html

A 21-year-old theatre student has obtained a civil stalking restraining order against her parents after convincing a judge that they attempt to control all aspects of her daily life.

Aubrey Ireland is a gifted theatre major at the College-Conservatory of Music at the University of Cincinnati, often winning major roles in her school's musicals.

Her latest win wasn't at her prestigious music conservatory, but in court after she filed a civil stalking order against her parents. Earlier this month, Common Pleas Court Judge Jody Luebbers ruled in her favor, ordering that her parents must stay at least 500 feet from their only child until September 2013.

"They basically thought that they were paying for my college tuition and living expenses that they could tell me what to do who to hang out with ... basically control all of my daily life," Ireland told ABC News.

The dean's list student's complaints against her parents began when she realized they'd installed monitoring software on her computer and her phone. They paid unannounced visits, traveling 600 miles from their home in Kansas, to meet with Aubrey's department head.

They also accused their daughter of promiscuity, doing drugs, and having mental issues to the point where they were considering going to court to order that she get treatment.

"My mom has always been very overly involved," Ireland said. "I would have to get on Skype all the time to show them that I was in my dorm room, or there were nights I had to leave my Skype on all night and my mom would watch me basically sleep."

She claims her parents, David and Julie Ireland, have been diagnosed with co-dependency disorder. Her parents, however, say their daughter is just a good actor, and is lying. They said she is "an only child who has been catered to all her life."

Because Aubrey has cut all ties with them in a very public way, they now want a refund of the $66,000 they've already paid toward her education.

"We're not bothering her," Julie Ireland said. "We're not a problem."

But Aubrey said that taking the issue to court was a last resort.

"I never wanted this to happen, that's the last thing I wanted," she said. "But I wasn't in control of my life at all anymore. I knew that they were holding me back emotionally, mentally, and professionally and that it got to the point where that was basically my last option.

Psychologists say boundaries can be tricky for parents with college-age children.

"I have no idea whether she is mentally ill, nor if the parents have any problems that may lead to the type of behavior that is described," Dr. Gail Wyatt told ABC News.

"What do you do when a person is 21 and you're still concerned about the well being of your child? If your child has a mental health problem you are still responsible for that child, even though they are 21 years old or 25 years old."

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She's an adult and capable of making her own decisions.

I find it weird that she would go so far to ensure they don't try and control her, but it seems like she had a case to do so.

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Putting skype on the whole night watching her sleep? What ? The ? Frack ?

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Yet another dysfunctional family and another case of who gives a crap.

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If they truly beleived her to have mental/emotional issues their money would have been better spent and their concerns better directed had they spent the money on getting her treatment instead of enrolling her. Their demands for return of the money now is just one more attempt to control her. She is obviously a gifted student and she wouldn't be a good actor if she didn't have issues. But find me most anyone anywhere who doesn't and I'll show you a morgue.

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If they truly beleived her to have mental/emotional issues their money would have been better spent and their concerns better directed had they spent the money on getting her treatment instead of enrolling her. Their demands for return of the money now is just one more attempt to control her. She is obviously a gifted student and she wouldn't be a good actor if she didn't have issues. But find me most anyone anywhere who doesn't and I'll show you a morgue.

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She's an adult and capable of making her own decisions.

I find it weird that she would go so far to ensure they don't try and control her, but it seems like she had a case to do so.

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Exactly. Plus she won the suit. She would not have won it, if she did not have significant evidence.

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It's so sad when parents get so overly involved in their kids' lives.

I'm an only child as well, so my parents spend a lot of time with me and they like to come to all my sporting events and stuff but they know their boundaries and they know when to back off and let me have some private time with my friends. By comparison, my cousin's parents were too pushy and didn't let him make any decisions for himself. He moved to NYC at the drop of a hat and has yet to visit since he left two years ago.

People think that being super involved makes them better parents but that's not always true. Everyone needs their own space.

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