LDR

[canuckster19]

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[canuckster19]

Hey guys,

Just a heads up on our situation now.

She's been really busy with university lately and we have began to distance apart from each other more and more. We used to talk everyday but up until a couple weeks ago we spent 4 days not talking to one another. When we did talk again she said to me that she wasn't sure what to think or feel about our relationship any more. That day, we were supposed to Skype at night (different time zone) and when I asked if she was ready to Skype. She said that she had a friend over and couldn't. It was about 8:30 pm her time and I didn't think much about it. An hour later I had to go to work so I asked her if she was done hanging out with her friend, who they were and what they were doing. She saw it and didn't reply but had seen the message a few times. She went out to a university party after that.

When we Skyped' I told her to be completely honest with me and why she didn't tell me who she was with the night before. She said she didn't want to tell me because It sounds like I don't trust her. She spoke about how she was unsure about us and how it might not work when I get there. I asked her if she wanted to break up and she said she didn't. I also asked if there was another guy in the equation and she said no. I think she could just be very confused right now? Another thing to note is her father doesn't like me one bit and she always tells me how he says we should break up.

We didn't communicate very well the past couple months through Skype, only Skying once or twice per week. Should we try to communicate more? Texting just creates problems I feel. Also I ordered her flowers that were delivered to her house today. I also had an artist make custom made necklaces, bought a cd of her favourite singer, a book on long distance relationships. I also wrote a letter that I wrote with the help of my best friend. Basically describing the night we met and the first few dates as funny as possible. Also at the end of the letter I give her a little inspiration.

When she received the flowers she sent me a text saying "awww thank you" and i asked if she could skype today. She saw the message and didn't reply. I went out for a couple hours and when I got back home I sent her another message. She also saw that one and didn't reply. I went on fb and noticed she was online and active talking to other people so why would she ignore me like that? Am I just over thinking the entire thing or should I be worried?

I want to help her reignite the spark we had. She wants to but is just having trouble right now. How could I get her to without her feeling pressured and also the thought that I am smothering her. We have survived 5/8 months apart so far. I'd like your opinion and thoughts of our situation. Also any tips you may have to help us make it work! Thanks

Wow, you just committed a bunch of don't do's. She's moved on my friend and nothing you can do will bring her back. I can't say it's your fault, but you became way too needy, and that's hard in a LDR. As the poster above mentioned I've had something very similar happen to me as well and it just ended up she was with another guy weeks (days perhaps I don't remember) later.

I was in a LDR with my wife. One day I just decided screw it, I hate college and I don't want to live with my parents anymore. It was a bit of a cop out, but I moved from Vancouver to Europe and haven't looked back, been here for nearly 15 years now.

[canuckster19]

DP

[Silfverberg Snipes]

Yeah, it's over.

[drummer4now]

Wow, you just committed a bunch of don't do's. She's moved on my friend and nothing you can do will bring her back. I can't say it's your fault, but you became way too needy, and that's hard in a LDR. As the poster above mentioned I've had something very similar happen to me as well and it just ended up she was with another guy weeks (days perhaps I don't remember) later.

I was in a LDR with my wife. One day I just decided screw it, I hate college and I don't want to live with my parents anymore. It was a bit of a cop out, but I moved from Vancouver to Europe and haven't looked back, been here for nearly 15 years now.

hmm lol I have always contemplated doing that if all goes downhill.. How expensive is Europe compared to North America?

[LMAO]

I understand what you guys are saying. I am trying to contact her to end things. She has been avoiding me today as well. I did become needy because I felt her slipping away and I didn't know how to save her. I let the man in me down. Thanks guys.

[drummer4now]

I understand what you guys are saying. I am trying to contact her to end things. She has been avoiding me today as well. I did become needy because I felt her slipping away and I didn't know how to save her. I let the man in me down. Thanks guys.

Next time in the future never become too desperate and play it cool. She lost the chase with you, and instead it ending up you chasing her... Always try to be one step ahead of the girl. Don't be too down though, there are plenty of fish in the sea... We have all been there.

Also I think it was risky from the get go. In my opinion the only type of LDR that works is if the girl or guy is from the same country as you and they have temporarily gone somewhere far away, but visit here and there..

[hsedin33]

Sorry to hear bro. Yah the flowers and things were probably too much. The way I see it, if they cheated or are thinking of it, nothing you could have done, that is their problem, let them stew in their own guilt while you man up and move on without any drama whatsoever. Don't contact them. Instead go build yourself up, start something new in your life, meet a couple new people guys and girls, eat healthy and pound some iron at the gym.

[drummer4now]

Sorry to hear bro. Yah the flowers and things were probably too much. The way I see it, if they cheated or are thinking of it, nothing you could have done, that is their problem, let them stew in their own guilt while you man up and move on without any drama whatsoever. Don't contact them. Instead go build yourself up, start something new, meet a couple new people guys and girls, eat healthy and pound some iron at the gym.

good advice.

[Stick-in-Rink]

From a girls POV:

She's obviously distancing herself from you, and probably preparing or has already gotten over you. If she doesn't respond once, that's a tad worrisome, but the fact that she's ignored you countless times means that she probably isn't interested anymore, and some other guy may have caught her eye.

From the way you describe the situation I can tell you were really into her, but each time you message her after she blatantly ignores you only makes her distance herself more and more. Like the above poster noted, girls become very bored when a guy repetitively shows their interest especially when they're obviously not reciprocating the same feelings back. We like it when guys aren't too upfront and definitely not clingy since that comes off as being insecure. The chase is the one of the most thrilling parts of a relationship, and with the distance and all diminishing it even more I think she just got bored of it and moved on.

I'm confused that she is not being more straight forward though. You guys are/were in a relationship, not just in the flirty stage and obviously if it's a LDR I can't see why she can't just cut you loose already since it seems like she has already gone ahead and done that herself. She owes you some closure, and hopefully she comes around to it soon because clinging onto any remaining hope won't do you any good (true story).

The distance at this rate is insurmountable, if you message her again it should be for a breakup.

It may be completely devastating right now, but you'll get over it and find someone even better. You seem like a special guy, the right girl will fall into your arms soon enough

[TheAntar]

I was gonna say I had to move away from

My girl for a year for school and now we live together and are happy. But I guess it's too late.

[LMAO]

So she ignored me all day today again. I just said to her we should skype because she can't avoided the situation right now. She saw it and didnt reply

[LMAO]

The parcel I sent her will get to her house on Thursday. Do you think there's any chance she would change her mind? Or should I man up and break up with her before then?

[THERETOOL]

I'm sorry to say, but it's textbook at this point. You two are done. She's either lost interest in you completely, or she's found someone else.

I've had literally the exact same situation happen to me, literally sequence for sequence (except sending her a bunch if stuff), and it turned out to be the latter.

Let her go. You'll continue to be hurt inside if you don't.

i must agree ,, if you really want a chance of getting her back then you have to be a gentlemen and drop out .. we always want what we can't have .. and you shouldn't be feeling like this ... this comes from expierience ,,, i married my ldr but it took a lot of careful work on my part ... I needed her to know that I wanted a future with her but I also needed her to know that I couldnt be messed with ... tough situation .. i feel for ya bud .. i really do .. i know exactly how your feeling .. it really sucks ..

[TheAntar]

Dude she's ignoring you.

Post some nice pics of you and a girl having a drink on FB and let the chips fall. If it's suddenly a problem then you can tell her how you feel. If she doesn't take the bait, move on because she clearly has.

[Blame Obama]

if you can make it happen doo it!

[Down by the River]

Sorry dude. She is likely ignoring you because she hopes that you will just give up on things. That way, she doesn't have to engage in conflict. This is one of those cowardly things that some girls do. It really sucks, but know that just about every guy whose ever put himself out there has had it happen to him at one time or another.

It is hard to do nothing, but the more you try by sending gifts, contacting her, etc., the bigger hole you dig yourself. My advice would be to go hang out with your bros and do whatever makes you happy (hit the bar, play some ball hockey, watch some movies, whatever you're in to). Whatever it is, do it with other people, don't do it alone.

The ball is in her court now, if she doesn't bother responding or contacting you, my opinion is that that is great news for you. Not in the sense that you guys will get back together, but great news in that you don't fly to another continent to be with a person who is of poor character. You don't want to be with the type of person who doesn't have the decency to even return a phone call after an ongoing relationship.

I'm sure you'll be bummed out, and that's okay. Love is easy to find, harder to keep. She sounds like the type of person who isn't ready to start an adult relationship anyway.

[Denguin]

The parcel I sent her will get to her house on Thursday. Do you think there's any chance she would change her mind? Or should I man up and break up with her before then?

Well, if it's sent, it's sent.

I would just sit tight for now and see how she reacts. You seem unsure of where you're at, so if anything her reception of the package will just be confirmation (or the opposite) of our opinions.

This must be a tough time for you, I can tell she means a lot to you, and I think a lot of us know how it feels to be in your position right now. Don't feel pressured to "man up". The only reason we're suggesting to break up with her is in the best interest of yourself. The longer you stay with her, and the further continues along this path, the more and more you'll get hurt. It's a horrible feeling inside. Not that leaving her is any better, but I can tell you having this eat away at you will be worse for you in the long run.

You, my friend, need to do some thinking for yourself. You shouldn't be following our lead. You can factor in our opinions, but you are the one who needs to make the decisions at the end of the day.

Hang in there. By the sounds of it, she would've never been worth it in the long run.

[Gustavo Fring]

Grab the next plane ticket to her city.

Happens in every movie. Sometimes its that lil push which makes them come back.

[THERETOOL]

Grab the next plane ticket to her city.

Happens in every movie. Sometimes its that lil push which makes them come back.

i wouldn't if i were you .... maybe I'm cynical but at 21 years old I know it seems like its pretty heavy now .. but as some of us who are a little older know .. time heals all wounds .. what seems like a big deal now you will laugh about in a few years .. there will be lots of girls my studly friend ..