THN: More explosive and shocking allegations against junior hockey in newly filed lawsuit

[Gurn]

My younger brother was being "groomed" by a perv in the Squamish hockey leagues. My mom found out, tried to get something done about it, ended up having to get my brother out of hockey.

 Predators will always target the easier victim. Single parent or dysfunctional family children are prime targets.

[Smashian Kassian]

58 minutes ago, SID.IS.SID.ME.IS.ME said:

That would be sexual assault. The forced shaving of someone else’s private area more than qualifies, under Canadian law.

That level of hazing might not seem like a big deal to many of us, but for some, such instances of abuse can be extremely traumatizing and have lasting impacts on their mental health.
 

 

 

I’m of a similar vintage to you, and while I never played hockey at that level, I did play other sports, as did most of my friends, and the same kind abuse was pretty widespread in my day, and with pretty much all of the team sports (basketball, rugby, volleyball, etc). I also had friends who played junior hockey, and they all have similar stories (especially when it comes to bus trips and “hotboxing”).

 

For me, there was a group of players (most of them multi-sport, star players, and on several teams) who made it their goal to subject every player on their team to getting “pantsed.” For most of us, this was just a one time thing, kinda embarrassing, and then you moved on. But for some, it was pure terror. I had one friend who was a very small guy and clearly hadn’t “developed” yet, and he was absolutely terrified. He took to wearing multiple pairs of underwear and tying up his shorts so tight that he had cuts and bruises around his belt line. I told the coach about the issue and he laughed it off, suggested my friend should lighten up, and that I was being a bad teammate by calling out the perpetrators by name (which was no secret as the coach and several other adults had already witnessed repeated instances). Nothing was done. I shut up and kept my head down from that point on. Another guy tried to fight them off (and he succeeded the first time). Next time, he got jumped by a group, sucker punched, and then they ripped his shorts and underwear off, in full view of the girls’ team (they had practice at the same time) and several adults (coaches and teachers). Nothing was done. Another guy happened to be quite hairy (which I guess they discovered through the first pantsing—and this also led to vicious taunting). He wasn’t a popular player, so he got it really bad. One time he was attacked in the dressing room, stripped naked, and duct tape was applied to his entire private area, front and back. He told the coach. Nothing happened. Other than the abuse just increasing. He spent the rest of high school getting jumped by his teammates on pretty much a weekly basis. 
 

Two of the guys who got some of the worst abuse ended up committing suicide before they turned 20. They may have had other issues, but I think the abuse they suffered at the hands of teammates was definitely a contributing factor in their deaths. Who know how many others are still traumatized and have mental health impacts to this day. Or how many more suicides are still coming (it seems like I hear about a new one every time I catch up with my friends from back then).

 

This **** has got to stop.

 

Its such a bizarre way to try and 'bring a team together'.

 

This Sarnia team sounds awful. I wonder who the leaders of these 'rituals' are (on the teams) and why they think its a good idea. There is something to be said for team bonding, and showing your dedication (if thats the right word) to the group. But it should be at the level of maybe buying dinners, having beers/hanging out, or doing some taxing physical activity together. (Grouse grind type idea, as an example). Not brutal/embarrassing hazing. 

 

[SID.IS.SID.ME.IS.ME]

28 minutes ago, stawns said:

 

The whole thing ruined Jr hockey for me and who knows how many others

I hear you. My own experiences pale in comparison, but the things I did see happen pretty much ruined organized team sports in general for me for a long time. I still feel guilty for not doing more to help some of the more vulnerable guys that I saw suffering. I tried to help, but at that age, you have so little power (or at least that’s how you feel) and whenever I confronted the situation, whether to coaches/teachers, or to fellow players, the results were that I either got ignored, made to feel I was breaking “the code,” or I put myself at risk for being a target for retaliation. Eventually, I just shut down, gave up, avoided the more dangerous situations, and mostly just kept quiet. 
 

I think in many ways, the sports culture is better now, at least than it was decades ago when I was a kid, but the same problems continue to exist, whether it’s hazing/bullying by teammates, or child abuse at the hands of trusted adults who hold a lot of power. Plus the whole code of silence around it and the ****ed up concepts of masculinity that make it very hard for victims to speak out, or even for the kids who see the victimization happening to call it out, without fearing reprisals or ostracization. 

[Gurn]

5 minutes ago, SID.IS.SID.ME.IS.ME said:

. I still feel guilty

Don't ever, ever feel guilty. This was not about you, it was always about abusers being abusive. Not about powerless kids being powerless.

That was easy to say, not so easy to believe though.

[SID.IS.SID.ME.IS.ME]

1 minute ago, gurn said:

Don't ever, ever feel guilty. This was not about you, it was always about abusers being abusive. Not about powerless kids being powerless.

That was easy to say, not so easy to believe though.

I know, and nice of you to say.  

 

For the most part, I’m good with the past, have processed it, come to terms with it, and have kinda closed the door on that whole time. Just sometimes, like when discussing these kinds of topics, I remember back when I was young, and some of the kids I saw getting hurt, and I wish that somehow I could’ve done more at the time to keep them safe.

[EP Phone Home]

On 6/26/2020 at 2:12 PM, gurn said:

My younger brother was being "groomed" by a perv in the Squamish hockey leagues. My mom found out, tried to get something done about it, ended up having to get my brother out of hockey.

 Predators will always target the easier victim. Single parent or dysfunctional family children are prime targets.

And people wonder why it drove players like Theo Fleury to have substance abuse addictions and internal demons that haunt them the rest of their lives. All these young and trusting athletes willing to do whatever it takes to make their childhood dream come true. Put the trust into these coaches. The predators like the ones running these junior clubs give these boys mental scars, addiction and abuse for life. Absolutely immoral. For a country that prides it’s hockey, there is so much ugly and darkness of the game we need to address and need to be better. God I feel so bad for the parents of these victims that did their best to get their kid to follow the hockey dream only to hand their child to a sick **** that’s going to damage them beyond repair. 

 

How about you talk about these kind of

stories there Ron on your hometown hockey eh?! Because it’s an uncomfortable story we don’t talk about it? Well it’s about time we get uncomfortable and talk about it, so we can get rid of the roots of the underlying issues of the (not so) good ol hockey game.