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Ever since I got dumped two weeks ago, I have felt empty and look forward to nothing. Even when I laugh or smile, it feels empty. I can't even focus on anything, and it's going to screw up my studying for mid-terms and finals and I'm scared I'm going to fail and hit a downward spiral.

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29 minutes ago, c00kies said:

Ever since I got dumped two weeks ago, I have felt empty and look forward to nothing. Even when I laugh or smile, it feels empty. I can't even focus on anything, and it's going to screw up my studying for mid-terms and finals and I'm scared I'm going to fail and hit a downward spiral.

Does your university have counseling services for students? If so, you should utilize them. Or maybe chat with a friend, instructor, or someone else there if you feel comfortable. 

 

It's tough when a relationship ends, but it doesn't have to ruin your life. I got dumped in my first term of college, conveniently right when the first waves of exams/essays were due. I was pretty devastated and felt really alone since I went to school away from friends/family/and even my ex. I told one of my TAs about it and he was really great. He obviously didn't let me turn assignments in late or anything, but just being able to tell someone what I was going through and have some sympathize and say they're sorry I'm dealing with it really helped.

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52 minutes ago, c00kies said:

Ever since I got dumped two weeks ago, I have felt empty and look forward to nothing. Even when I laugh or smile, it feels empty. I can't even focus on anything, and it's going to screw up my studying for mid-terms and finals and I'm scared I'm going to fail and hit a downward spiral.

Flip side:

 

there are mega huge benefits to being single in college and in general.

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22 hours ago, Cramarossa said:

I love wearing glasses. Definitely feel you on the whole looking-better-glasses thing. 

I'm the total opposite; I hate wearing glasses. A pain to keep clean, it's annoying looking having to move your entire head to look up or down, hats/headsets are less comfortable...I could go on. 

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6 hours ago, Cramarossa said:

Does your university have counseling services for students? If so, you should utilize them. Or maybe chat with a friend, instructor, or someone else there if you feel comfortable. 

 

It's tough when a relationship ends, but it doesn't have to ruin your life. I got dumped in my first term of college, conveniently right when the first waves of exams/essays were due. I was pretty devastated and felt really alone since I went to school away from friends/family/and even my ex. I told one of my TAs about it and he was really great. He obviously didn't let me turn assignments in late or anything, but just being able to tell someone what I was going through and have some sympathize and say they're sorry I'm dealing with it really helped.

Thanks. I've already talked with a couple people about it, which has eased the pain, but I'm still stuck with emptiness.

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8 hours ago, c00kies said:

Ever since I got dumped two weeks ago, I have felt empty and look forward to nothing. Even when I laugh or smile, it feels empty. I can't even focus on anything, and it's going to screw up my studying for mid-terms and finals and I'm scared I'm going to fail and hit a downward spiral.

The first few weeks to a month is the hardest. But keep busy, do things that you like, work on yourself, talk to close friends and family - it'll get better. 

Maybe try to study with a friend, as I found that being alone with my thoughts was the worst part.

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7 minutes ago, Psylocke said:

The first few weeks to a month is the hardest. But keep busy, do things that you like, work on yourself, talk to close friends and family - it'll get better. 

Maybe try to study with a friend, as I found that being alone with my thoughts was the worst part.

I've been talking to family and friends, forcing myself to go out when I don't feel like it, but nothing feels fulfilling. 

 

I can only study alone, so it would just be an outing rather than a study break. Even then, a lot of my friends are her friends too, and we kept the relationship a secret from them. So that makes it very awkward too.

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13 minutes ago, c00kies said:

I've been talking to family and friends, forcing myself to go out when I don't feel like it, but nothing feels fulfilling. 

 

I can only study alone, so it would just be an outing rather than a study break. Even then, a lot of my friends are her friends too, and we kept the relationship a secret from them. So that makes it very awkward too.

Try going to the gym or some other form of exercise. It helps to clear your mind and boost endorphins. 

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19 minutes ago, Psylocke said:

Try going to the gym or some other form of exercise. It helps to clear your mind and boost endorphins. 

I work out at home. I go on the treadmill and do curl-ups. I'm really out of ideas aside from maybe professional help, but I'm not going to be able to just make time out of nowhere, nor do I want to pay for it either :/

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52 minutes ago, c00kies said:

I work out at home. I go on the treadmill and do curl-ups. I'm really out of ideas aside from maybe professional help, but I'm not going to be able to just make time out of nowhere, nor do I want to pay for it either :/

Keep on doing that, and let yourself go through all the emotions. 

A breakup is a loss, so you have to allow yourself to go through the stages of grief (it actually feels more like a cycle or roller coaster rather than stages). Unfortunately, there's no timeline to this process, and sometimes you might find yourself feeling okay one day and then feel like you're moving backwards the next. However, it will get better with time, but you have to be patient. 

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1 hour ago, c00kies said:

I work out at home. I go on the treadmill and do curl-ups. I'm really out of ideas aside from maybe professional help, but I'm not going to be able to just make time out of nowhere, nor do I want to pay for it either :/

Treat it like a death and allow yourself to grieve. Loss of a relationship can be an incredibly jarring thing. I was in a very good relationship last year, and it ended kind of suddenly (mutually, so slightly easier than what you're going through I'll admit) and it took me several months to recover fully. I poured my heart and energy into the things I like to do, even though at the time they didn't interest me even slightly. You need to be cognizant of the fact that while you're incredibly mentally defeated right now, still doing those things is important while you fight through the grieving process.

 

Look for low-income mental health centers, too. The income cut off is incredibly high, and as long as you're honest about not being able to afford it they'll probably link you up with a cheap/free counsellor if you can find the time. Men's health centers often offer similar services.

 

You don't know me well, but I'm also will to be an objective ear to listen if you need to get something out. My inbox is always open.

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