Phasing her out (to me) means gradually reducing contact to the point where not talking to her becomes normal - whereas I talked to her every single day.
Look, I'm kind of confused about where I am in life so I don't have the answers. Evidently, I am not a person that a woman should be looking for, which is why I'm just going to take a step back from society.
Do what you gotta do, but don't take that guy's advice, he doesn't know what he's talking about.
When you stop thinking you're ordinary, doors will open for you.
I used to think I sucked, and was ordinary, and no different than anyone else.
I got lucky, I got into a relationship with a ridiculously gorgeous girl. No idea why she liked me, but she did. It opened up the world! I realised I didn't suck! I became confident, girls started to talk to me. I'd have women buy me drinks at the bar.
If you like this girl, do what you said. Take a few steps back, take it casually, don't get caught up on her, and try talking to other women.
I used to have a really awesome philosophy when I was single.
I called it "planting seeds". I'd meet new girls, talk to them, give them a reason to want to continue talking to me, and never over water (never give too much attention). Just a little bit at a time, but never too much. You keep doing this, and if one blossoms, then you're gold. If you really like one girl, and she seems interested in you, go with it, but never over commit until it's a sure thing dude. You over committed. But it's all good, show less interest, get on with your life, and try to talk to other women.
And the worst thing you can do, is feel sorry for yourself when you get rejected. I've been rejected more times than I can count! EMBRACE IT! It's an amazing thing! You learn from it. Make sure it doesn't bother you, and respect that not everyone's going to like you.
But if you're still interested in the girl, screw everyones comments about how it's a lost cause. It isn't. It's far from lost. But just don't let it consume your life. Let her know you'll still talk to her, but you're not going to be a sucker for her. Just keep occupied, make her earn your attention, and don't drop everything you're doing for her. Even over little things. You're watching a movie and she texts you? Screw it, you're into the movie, respond with "hey, yeah sorry just in a movie I'll talk to you later".
Forget to respond? Beautiful, girls love that for some sick reason. She'll probably text you later asking why you didn't respond. Just apologize again, and say you'll talk later, or whatever you gotta do.
GIRLS ARE INSANE. ADAPT.
And never forget. You'll never stop being ordinary until you start telling yourself otherwise.
I also agree with what Deb says.
Just go with it. It's likely just a small crush. She'll be more into you if you just live your life. She'll realise you're not such a sucker after all.
Edited by Stefan, 14 March 2012 - 03:43 PM.