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OP's idea of the NHL trade market:

Dude #1: "Hey, brah! Mind if I deuce in your mouth?"

Dude #2: "Uh... what do I get in return?"

Dude #1: "Well, you get my deuce in your mouth and I get to raid your fridge and take whatever I want."

Dude #2: "Hmm... SURE!"

Dude #1 is Mike Gillis. Dude #2 is Brian Burke.

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