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Kids Are Idiots

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I got the kids these "stress ball" queeze toys a few weeks ago at bolan books while Christmas shopping for my dad.

Both kids are like me an tend to fidget so I thought it would help them focus on their homework.


Well my daughter couldn't put it down. She spent the last few weeks trying to kill it... tonight, she was successful.


The wife and I warned her it'll break


"I don't care" she says


We remind her 


"I LOVE SQUISHING IT!" She announces


Well tonight she murdered it. The thing blew up right in her hands and shot some sort of weird shaving cream substance on the floor, wall, coffee table...  her face, her pj's and all up her arms!

What does she do?


She screamed like she just squished a beloved pet with a brick.

A blood curdling scream that was probably noted by child protection services. Permanently on record as if this poor child had witnessed, and been party to, a murder.


My wife is still mad at me and the boy. We both shed tears. Tears of laughter

I havent laughed so hard at somebody's anguish since 1995. 

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