Kids Are Idiots

[falcon45ca]

Let's face it, kids are dumb, and say dumb things all the time. Post yer stupid kid's words here, and let's laugh at their stupidity!

 

 

My GF's daughter was watching Arrested Development, and saw that Tobias had painted himself blue trying to join the Blue Man Group. She asked what he used for the paint, I said "I think he just used regular blue paint."

 

She goes "That is SO DUMB! I would've used hair dye....or no, wait! Nail polish."

[Master 112]

aren't there paints specifically engineered to be applied as body paint?

 

'regular' paint could easily have carcinogens

[smithers joe]

we are all idiots to somebody. i think i make lots of people’s lists.

[JM_]

well, maybe YOUR kid. 

[bishopshodan]

Not a dumb kid, but recently I enjoyed what my 3 year old god son Jack had to say. It was about his new little brother that the family was expecting.

 

Jack had decided that his brother should be called Will. He had his mind made up even though the family was still unsure.

 

The parental units tried to get him not so set on one name.. convo went something like...

 

Dada - "Jack, what should we call your new little brother?"

Jack - "Will"

Dada -" Jack, do you think we should wait till he gets here and then decide what name we give him?"

Jack - " Ok Dada, we will wait until he gets here and then we can name him Will"

Dada - " Jack, is there any other name we could think of as another choice?"

Jack looked around the room, pretended to think about it, glanced at the shelves and said " Book Shelf"

Dada " Ok , so Book Shelf or Will, are there any other names? "

Jack - " No Dada!, those are the only names he can have!"

 

Will is about 5 weeks old now, he is affectionately nicknamed Booky by his loving family. 

 

I think I am going to start being more like Jack in my business meetings, seems to be a top negotiator. 

Edited September 10, 2019 by bishopshodan

[luckylager]

58 minutes ago, bishopshodan said:

Not a dumb kid, but recently I enjoyed what my 3 year old god son Jack had to say. It was about his new little brother that the family was expecting.

 

Jack had decided that his brother should be called Will. He had his mind made up even thought the family was still unsure.

 

The parental units tried to get him not so set on one name.. convo went something like...

 

Dada - "Jack, what should we call your new little brother?"

Jack - "Will"

Dada -" Jack, do you think we should wait till he gets here and then decide what name we give him?"

Jack - " Ok Dada, we will wait until he gets here and then we can name him Will"

Dada - " Jack, is there any other name we could think of as another choice?"

Jack looked around the room, pretended to think about it, glanced at the shelves and said " Book Shelf"

Dada " Ok , so Book Shelf or Will, are there any other names? "

Jack - " No Dada!, those are the only names he can have!"

 

Will is about 5 weeks old now, he is affectionately nicknamed Booky by his loving family. 

 

I think I am going to start being more like Jack in my business meetings, seems to be a top negotiator. 

My son wanted to name his little sister "Hockey".

He was a little pissy when we chose a different name

[bishopshodan]

7 minutes ago, luckylager said:

My son wanted to name his little sister "Hockey".

He was a little pissy when we chose a different name

To be fair, that would have been a kick ass name. 

[goalie13]

14 minutes ago, luckylager said:

My son wanted to name his little sister "Hockey".

He was a little pissy when we chose a different name

My cousin's kids wanted to name their new sibling Luke Skywalker.  Regardless of gender.

 

I like them even more now.

[RWMc1]

I said "I think he just used regular blue paint."

[Winter Soldier]

7 hours ago, falcon45ca said:

Post yer stupid kid's words here, and let's laugh at their stupidity!

[DADDYROCK]

Personally my kids have been well educated and that is good,

but for me, as long as they are healthy and happy I don't care if they do say stupid things that is all part of the growing cycle.

I'm sure our parents thought we were stupid for loving the Beatles and Rolling Stones or whatever music seemed to erk their generation.That saying what goes around comes around and when they become parents they will use the same lines on their kids that my parents used on me.

Lines like (if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all,or stop crying or I will give you something to cry about)the parents go to lines.

Give your kids love and teach them to be good people this is what is most important for their well being and for society in general.

Edited September 11, 2019 by DADDYROCK

[D.B Cooper]

My 3 yo daughter seems to come up with ridiculous rules throughout the day. 

We decided to start writing them in a book. 

Im thinking about giving it to here when she is older so she can see what we had to deal with.  

 Don’t pour water in my yard

Dont say thanks

No petting the puppy. Only me. 

 

$&!# like this.  There are a couple pages already.    Basically a bunch of stuff she says we can’t do.  Hahah

[Gurn]

4 hours ago, drummerboy said:

My 3 yo daughter seems to come up with ridiculous rules throughout the day. 

We decided to start writing them in a book. 

Im thinking about giving it to here when she is older so she can see what we had to deal with.  

 Don’t pour water in my yard

Dont say thanks

No petting the puppy. Only me. 

 

$&!# like this.  There are a couple pages already.    Basically a bunch of stuff she says we can’t do.  Hahah

It is payback for all the times you had to say "No" to her.

No:

      You can't stick a fork in the power outlet

      You  can't bath the cat

      Don't  hit your brother

      Don't use roller skates in the house

     Etc.

[-DLC-]

Personally, I LOVE kid's knowing everything in the world there is to know.

 

Ask them a question and many will, without hesitation, burst into an in depth explanation that is so far off base it's amazing.  Ask them "why" questions...."why do fish swim?", "why is water wet?", etc.  They will throw out so much BS it's fascinating.   But it's so interesting to see how their little minds work.  And how convinced they are of their own answers.

 

I miss my kids being little.

 

My Dad used to let my son "drive" at our cabin...had a large front yard so he'd let him sit on his lap and steer.  One day my son whined from the backseat that he wanted to drive.  When I said no, that he could only "drive" from Papa's lap, he proceeded to yell that he needed a cop (to tell his troubles to).  LOL

[Phil_314]

Not my kids but hearing my coworker talk about her kids...

Coworker 1 (her): my kids are so picky about their food
Coworker 2 ("Co"): how so?

Her: He won't eat grilled cheese sandwiches if the cheese oozes out the side or if hot dogs aren't in hot dog shaped buns (e.g. won't eat it if it's sliced and put into a burger)

Co: What?  That's how grilled cheese sandwiches are!  Also maybe you can find a compressed bun to put it in.

Her: Yeah, but no he still won't eat it.  It has to be really well-defined and neat, and it's not the same.
Co: How about pizza?  Sometimes the cheese pull is real or the slices aren't the same size or exactly triangle.
Her: Nope, won't have it.

Co: Well then, tell him that's all that he'll get and if he doesn't want it, eat it in front of his face.  Then tell him to come back when he's hungry.  

[D.B Cooper]

My wife has been out of town for a couple days, so I’ve been pulling the single dad duty.  

Last night was rough.   The daughter was missing mom big time and was having a full blown episode.  

Couple hours of crying and being a jerk.  Haha

In the middle of scream crying, she looked out the window and starting laughing about the round moon. 

Straight up crazy person move.  

 

Parenting is tough sometimes. 

[luckylager]

4 hours ago, drummerboy said:

My wife has been out of town for a couple days, so I’ve been pulling the single dad duty.  

Last night was rough.   The daughter was missing mom big time and was having a full blown episode.  

Couple hours of crying and being a jerk.  Haha

In the middle of scream crying, she looked out the window and starting laughing about the round moon. 

Straight up crazy person move.  

 

Parenting is tough sometimes. 

Talk about crazy person moves -

My 5y/o daughter runs out of her bedroom around 11:30 last night screaming "my pants hurt". My wife was already asleep so this was on me, I say "so take them off and go back to bed"... she whips them off then straight up pees in the middle of the living room while staring me down.

"sorry Dada, I'm going back to bad now"

 

Asked her about it this morning and she didn't remember a thing. How convenient.

[D.B Cooper]

40 minutes ago, luckylager said:

Talk about crazy person moves -

My 5y/o daughter runs out of her bedroom around 11:30 last night screaming "my pants hurt". My wife was already asleep so this was on me, I say "so take them off and go back to bed"... she whips them off then straight up pees in the middle of the living room while staring me down.

"sorry Dada, I'm going back to bad now"

 

Asked her about it this morning and she didn't remember a thing. How convenient.

This thread should be renamed. 

 

Kids are idiots/@$$holes

[brilac]

I once asked my niece when she was younger of what she thought of the Bruins.  Her reply - "AWFUL!!!".  It was a very smart response.  I think she was 5.

[falcon45ca]

My niece once gave me a cup of tea during one of her fabulous tea parties.

 

I asked her, "What kind of tea is this, Chamomile?"

 

She said "No, its oatmeal"