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#151 Buddhas Hand

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Posted 26 October 2012 - 03:08 PM



Teaching Them To Be Themselves


Posted Image

You'd Think...
Peer pressure is the thing that makes kids smoke cigarettes, do drugs and read pornographic magazines by the time they reach middle school. As countless PSAs and after-school specials taught us, we must teach our kids to be themselves and never give two halves of a frack about what their "friends" think.
But in Reality...
Remember that smelly kid in school, who never washed his hair, had no friends and once pissed in the sink at that party he wasn't invited to? That's your kid, without peer pressure. A study conducted at the University of Virginia showed that kids who were exposed to peer pressure around the ages of 12 and 13 turned out to be way more well-adjusted than the ones who weren't. They better understood the need to accommodate and make compromises when confronted with social pressure, rather than the "I'll just take my ball and go home" attitude they adopt otherwise.

Posted Image
Totally well-adjusted.

The kids who were taught to be themselves no matter what didn't become walking clones of James Dean. They actually turned out less engaged, socially challenged and statistically less intelligent, their GPAs dropping almost an entire letter grade.
Maybe more importantly, when you actually give a damn about how people view you, it develops a skill of reading the most subtle changes in people's emotional states, leading ultimately to a heightened sense of empathy. In this socially awkward age of the Internet, it turns out peer pressure at the right time can basically give you superpowers.




A bit of humour , with a pearl of wisdom in there ,to lighten things up in this thread .

Edited by The Ratiocinator, 26 October 2012 - 04:35 PM.

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The Real war is not between the east and the west. The real war is between intelligent and stupid people.

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That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons that history has to teach.

Aldous Huxley.


#152 RUPERTKBD

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Posted 26 October 2012 - 03:10 PM

And people acting like they actually give a **** is hilarious, bunch of armchair quarterbacks that sit behind their keyboards and type.


Absolutely incorrect.

I most certainly care when a young person's life is ended unnecessarily and I believe that many others in this thread (BB, 'Coaster, CJ, Wizdom, theminister, Dellins, Jai, Pimp, etc) feel the same way.

Just because you don't care, it doesn't mean that you have to attempt to paint the rest of us as hypocrites, just so you can feel better about your own callousness.
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Orland Kurtenbach and Dennis Kearns had just been torched 8-1 by the Habs, but they still took time to come out to meet us, some fellow BC boys who were playing hockey in Montreal. THAT"S what being a Canuck is!

#153 Buddhas Hand

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Posted 26 October 2012 - 03:11 PM



Teaching Them To Be Themselves


Posted Image

You'd Think...
Peer pressure is the thing that makes kids smoke cigarettes, do drugs and read pornographic magazines by the time they reach middle school. As countless PSAs and after-school specials taught us, we must teach our kids to be themselves and never give two halves of a frack about what their "friends" think.
But in Reality...
Remember that smelly kid in school, who never washed his hair, had no friends and once pissed in the sink at that party he wasn't invited to? That's your kid, without peer pressure. A study conducted at the University of Virginia showed that kids who were exposed to peer pressure around the ages of 12 and 13 turned out to be way more well-adjusted than the ones who weren't. They better understood the need to accommodate and make compromises when confronted with social pressure, rather than the "I'll just take my ball and go home" attitude they adopt otherwise.

Posted Image
Totally well-adjusted.

The kids who were taught to be themselves no matter what didn't become walking clones of James Dean. They actually turned out less engaged, socially challenged and statistically less intelligent, their GPAs dropping almost an entire letter grade.
Maybe more importantly, when you actually give a damn about how people view you, it develops a skill of reading the most subtle changes in people's emotional states, leading ultimately to a heightened sense of empathy. In this socially awkward age of the Internet, it turns out peer pressure at the right time can basically give you superpowers. cracked website

A bit of humour , with a pearl of wisdom , to lighten things up in this thread

Edited by The Ratiocinator, 26 October 2012 - 03:12 PM.

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The Real war is not between the east and the west. The real war is between intelligent and stupid people.

Marjane Satrapi

tony-abbott-and-stephen-harper-custom-da

That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons that history has to teach.

Aldous Huxley.


#154 Bertuzzi Babe

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Posted 26 October 2012 - 03:15 PM

Absolutely incorrect.

I most certainly care when a young person's life is ended unnecessarily and I believe that many others in this thread (BB, 'Coaster, CJ, Wizdom, theminister, Dellins, Jai, Pimp, etc) feel the same way.

Just because you don't care, it doesn't mean that you have to attempt to paint the rest of us as hypocrites, just so you can feel better about your own callousness.


Well said, RUPERTKBD! :)


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#155 Buddhas Hand

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Posted 26 October 2012 - 03:16 PM

Absolutely incorrect.

I most certainly care when a young person's life is ended unnecessarily and I believe that many others in this thread (BB, 'Coaster, CJ, Wizdom, theminister, Dellins, Jai, Pimp, etc) feel the same way.

Just because you don't care, it doesn't mean that you have to attempt to paint the rest of us as hypocrites, just so you can feel better about your own callousness.


What about me ? :sadno:

Edited by The Ratiocinator, 26 October 2012 - 03:18 PM.

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The Real war is not between the east and the west. The real war is between intelligent and stupid people.

Marjane Satrapi

tony-abbott-and-stephen-harper-custom-da

That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons that history has to teach.

Aldous Huxley.


#156 RUPERTKBD

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Posted 26 October 2012 - 03:17 PM

What about me ?


Sorry mate. I thought I did pretty well, for just off the top of my head...
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Orland Kurtenbach and Dennis Kearns had just been torched 8-1 by the Habs, but they still took time to come out to meet us, some fellow BC boys who were playing hockey in Montreal. THAT"S what being a Canuck is!

#157 Buddhas Hand

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Posted 26 October 2012 - 03:21 PM

Sorry mate. I thought I did pretty well, for just off the top of my head...


Thats allright brother , just trying to lighten things up :)

I wish people could try to maintain some civility when discussing things in this forum , a little respect goes a long way .
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The Real war is not between the east and the west. The real war is between intelligent and stupid people.

Marjane Satrapi

tony-abbott-and-stephen-harper-custom-da

That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons that history has to teach.

Aldous Huxley.


#158 J.R.

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Posted 26 October 2012 - 03:23 PM

Some kids do learn those things you've mentioned but are bullied anyway. Relentlessly, horrendously, inescapably........and there's a HUGE difference between learning that everyone will not always get along and being tormented and bullied every single day.


I said it may be a "contributing factor" as to why some kids are seemingly having more trouble with it. Didn't mention it had anything to do with why they're bullied or that they should "suck it up" or any similar sentiment.

I'm on your side. Please step down from the soap box...I'll even give you a hug.
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#159 Shift-4

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Posted 26 October 2012 - 03:24 PM

Absolutely incorrect.

I most certainly care when a young person's life is ended unnecessarily and I believe that many others in this thread (BB, 'Coaster, CJ, Wizdom, theminister, Dellins, Jai, Pimp, etc) feel the same way.

Just because you don't care, it doesn't mean that you have to attempt to paint the rest of us as hypocrites, just so you can feel better about your own callousness.

Well said, RUPERTKBD! :)


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Here, here


I find it more depressing/disturbing with those that don't show concern.
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#160 RonMexico

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Posted 26 October 2012 - 03:53 PM

Does anyone really know what the answer is? It's fairly self explanatory that awareness and education just do not work. I have been 'aware' and been 'educated' about bullying since grade school. We were taught not to do it, plain and simple. Something along the lines of, how would you feel if you were the bullied one. I guess maybe back then it felt like there actually could be a consequence for doing something bad. This sentiment is lost today. Rarely do teens get in trouble for anything it seems.

I don't have the answer either but a good start would be to get rid of dependence on social media that has manfiested in recent years. Easier said than done but it sure is easy to use twitter or facebook to harrass someone. On top of that, all these accounts are linked to your phone so escaping it is impossible. I am surprised these tragic events have taken so long to rise to prevalence given that facebook has been around for a few years now.
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#161 Jai604

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Posted 26 October 2012 - 03:59 PM

Absolutely incorrect.

I most certainly care when a young person's life is ended unnecessarily and I believe that many others in this thread (BB, 'Coaster, CJ, Wizdom, theminister, Dellins, Jai, Pimp, etc) feel the same way.

Just because you don't care, it doesn't mean that you have to attempt to paint the rest of us as hypocrites, just so you can feel better about your own callousness.


Agreed. Some of do care, and the irony of people calling out others as "keyboard quarterbacks" seems to be lost on some people.




This whole bullying issue really runs a lot deeper than many people care to admit. It's really the result of a cultural problem that's deep-rooted.

Bullies themselves are never happy kids. Delinquency is always the result of trouble at home. Be it absentee parents, or abusive parents or whatnot, children tend to act up because they've experienced some kind of abuse/neglect on the home front. These days, with more and more families needing dual-incomes and parents having less and less time or not creating the time to spend with their children, it's no small wonder that teenagers these days are more and more maladjusted.

How many families these days sit down each night for a family meal? Instilling strong values has to come from the parents. After a long day at work, however, how many parents have the energy or willingness to spend time with their children?

So really, what happens is you have a cycle of neglect and damaging behaviour. The bullies get abused/neglected by their parents who in turn probably developed problems from their own childhoods. Those bullies damage and abuse other children, who in turn end up maladjusted and delinquent, and then go on to be poor parents in their own right.

Children from caring loving families aren't immune either. With social media these days, bullying just can't be avoided. Amanda Todd is a great example. The girl changed schools four times and yet was unable to escape her tormentors.

Is suicide the answer? Clearly not, and don't think for one second that any of the people who are sympathetic in this thread are condoning suicide as a valid way of escaping the pressure and trouble in one's life. None of us are saying that. Suicide is never the answer. What needs to be examined, however, is why anyone would feel such a way as to think that life no longer is worth living.

Clearly anyone committing suicide is not of sound judgement and has mental illness. One of the biggest problems is that mental illness still carries with it a very large degree of social stigma. We alienate those who have mental illness and society attempts to brush those issues under the rug because they are still poorly understood. Mental illness isn't like a cut on your arm, you can't just see it. And that's precisely why mental illnesses are so insidious. They destroy a person's mind from within, unknown, unseen by the rest of the world.

These clearly are difficult issues, for which I have no easy solutions. They are deep-rooted in or society and cultural mindset.
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RIP LB RR PD


#162 Gerg

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Posted 26 October 2012 - 04:17 PM

I've often wondered how the bullying problem has gotten so bad lately, but I always assumed that it was because of social media allowing the bullies to continue their harassment outside of school boundaries, however, the lack of empathy shown by so many people in this thread tells me that the problem goes much deeper.


I think it's a combination of a few factors. Social media, as you said, being one. They have more than one avenue for attacking people now.
The big one, I think, being that kids are now raised in a consequence-free life. Parents and adults almost seem to be too afraid to discipline children these days.
Another influence, I can see is TV. For example, in Family Guy, it's 'funny' to see students tormenting Meg for being an ugly loser, and Chris for being fat. I know some parents who will sit down and watch that with their toddlers. Children are like sponges, they will pick that up.
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#163 Shea Weber

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Posted 26 October 2012 - 04:21 PM

Was your cousin one of the guys killed by Liam Neeson?


No...
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#164 Gerg

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Posted 26 October 2012 - 04:27 PM

Absolutely incorrect.

I most certainly care when a young person's life is ended unnecessarily and I believe that many others in this thread (BB, 'Coaster, CJ, Wizdom, theminister, Dellins, Jai, Pimp, etc) feel the same way.

Just because you don't care, it doesn't mean that you have to attempt to paint the rest of us as hypocrites, just so you can feel better about your own callousness.

Precisely. As someone who went through many years of it, I can sympathize with these people to an extent. I know what they went through, minus the suicidal thoughts and eventual activity.
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#165 Dral

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Posted 26 October 2012 - 04:34 PM

I might sound a little harsh, but this is getting ridiculous. Don't get me wrong, this is a tragedy. But the problem is, with what happened with Amanda Todd, bullied teens are realizing that, by committing suicide, they can get an ultimate revenge on their bullies. They'll be worshipped like they were some saint, and those kids that bullied them will get a taste of their own medicine, with these death threats yelled at them. The dead kid will have died knowing they ruined their tormentors lives, with a horrible guilt that will probably haunt the (in this case, football team,) to their own grave. The teen who died, however tragic a life they had, will become popular, LOVED, something they think no one ever showed them while they were alive. I'm sorry if I sound judgemental, and I don't pretend to know what was going through these kids heads, but I just wish people could care about these kids while they're still alive, and not make these useless facebook memorial pages when they die. R.I.P. Felicia Garcia and Amanda Todd.


This isn't harsh, it's just ignorant... you obviously have no idea what real depression is like
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Fruits?

Lord Peaches' gut is telling him that the drunken fool, aka Dral, is 100% mafia.

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Dral is 100% mafia or I will masteb_ _ _ _ a cow and like it

GOATis?

Vig kill dral he never talks like this when he's not mafia.

 


#166 Buddhas Hand

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Posted 26 October 2012 - 04:38 PM

I said it may be a "contributing factor" as to why some kids are seemingly having more trouble with it. Didn't mention it had anything to do with why they're bullied or that they should "suck it up" or any similar sentiment.

I'm on your side. Please step down from the soap box...I'll even give you a hug.


I think we all should particapate in a group hug :rolleyes:
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The Real war is not between the east and the west. The real war is between intelligent and stupid people.

Marjane Satrapi

tony-abbott-and-stephen-harper-custom-da

That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons that history has to teach.

Aldous Huxley.


#167 TOMapleLaughs

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Posted 26 October 2012 - 04:39 PM

Well, I happen to seriously care about this. But does anyone care that I care? Why not, you insensitive prck, you? My tears are falling on my keyboard here.


PS. It's amazing how many of these type of threads, instead of discussing the issue at hand, goes onto debate why you should all be sensitive to the thread's topic or not.

So what if someone on the other side of the internet is insensitive? It doesn't concern you.

At the same time, why do you think that a person who is insensitive to these issues would pull a complete 180 and start caring about you calling them insensitive?

Yes, there is a certain level of respect to be shown in these thread regarding sensitive topics, but if you don't spend time on the actual subject itself and instead point the finger at others for being insensitive, then you're really no better than a troll who is sensitive.

What's ironic is that while these posters claim to be holier than thou with regards to these sensitive topics, they have no problem belittling those on these boards who do not fall directly in line with their own particular ethical rules for posting. Are you not aware that you might be hurting somebody's feelings? (If they cared?)
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#168 Sanford

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Posted 26 October 2012 - 04:48 PM

You know this bullying suicide crap is largely the Social media's fault... I mean 10 years ago, these kinds of things were rare... For example right now when I go to youtube to watch some videos there's actually top videos that involve teens holding cards just like Amanda Todd.

I mean come on, I'm not trying to be insensitive, but its' gone a bit far now.
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#169 Gerg

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Posted 26 October 2012 - 04:49 PM

Does anyone really know what the answer is? It's fairly self explanatory that awareness and education just do not work. I have been 'aware' and been 'educated' about bullying since grade school. We were taught not to do it, plain and simple. Something along the lines of, how would you feel if you were the bullied one. I guess maybe back then it felt like there actually could be a consequence for doing something bad. This sentiment is lost today. Rarely do teens get in trouble for anything it seems.

I don't have the answer either but a good start would be to get rid of dependence on social media that has manfiested in recent years. Easier said than done but it sure is easy to use twitter or facebook to harrass someone. On top of that, all these accounts are linked to your phone so escaping it is impossible. I am surprised these tragic events have taken so long to rise to prevalence given that facebook has been around for a few years now.

I don't have the definitive answer, but I do think there are a few things that we, as a society, need to start doing for our kids.

I think the big thing is that we need to make them be prepared properly. I don't think they're doing it properly. Kids are basically told to tell a teacher or an adult, I think that makes things worse and you're viewed as a 'rat'. That only adds fuel to the fire. A lot of issues teenagers face right now, could be lessened with better preparation at a young age by parents and educators on both sides of the ball
I know everyone's different, but for me, I just let it happen. I was told from a young age to never react. Eventually, some kids got bored because I wouldn't react. I'd move from elementary to middle school to high school and new batches of bullies would try and I wouldn't do anything. I do suffer from some confidence issues, but I could see things being a whole lot worse if I kept adding to the fire.
There honestly is something to be said about 'Keep calm, carry on'.
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#170 Buddhas Hand

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Posted 26 October 2012 - 04:52 PM

Well, I happen to seriously care about this. But does anyone care that I care? Why not, you insensitive prck, you? My tears are falling on my keyboard here.


PS. It's amazing how many of these type of threads, instead of discussing the issue at hand, goes onto debate why you should all be sensitive to the thread's topic or not.

So what if someone on the other side of the internet is insensitive? It doesn't concern you.

At the same time, why do you think that a person who is insensitive to these issues would pull a complete 180 and start caring about you calling them insensitive?

Yes, there is a certain level of respect to be shown in these thread regarding sensitive topics, but if you don't spend time on the actual subject itself and instead point the finger at others for being insensitive, then you're really no better than a troll who is sensitive.

What's ironic is that while these posters claim to be holier than thou with regards to these sensitive topics, they have no problem belittling those on these boards who do not fall directly in line with their own particular ethical rules for posting. Are you not aware that you might be hurting somebody's feelings? (If they cared?)


would you like to be more informative as to who you think the people are that belittle others ?

I personally make an effort to show respect to others , and when i sometimes fail , i apologise and try to be a better person next time .
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The Real war is not between the east and the west. The real war is between intelligent and stupid people.

Marjane Satrapi

tony-abbott-and-stephen-harper-custom-da

That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons that history has to teach.

Aldous Huxley.


#171 WillyFox

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Posted 26 October 2012 - 04:53 PM

Wow what a slut she had a gangbang with 4 football players she's the one who ruined her rep and pretty much made her a easy target.
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#172 Bertuzzi Babe

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Posted 26 October 2012 - 05:01 PM

Wow what a slut she had a gangbang with 4 football players she's the one who ruined her rep and pretty much made her a easy target.


^^^

A prime example of what the problem is all about. Obviously this user did not read entire thread. Or is just trolling for shock value or to look 'big'. Either way, a sad example of why bullying is still a problem in 2012.

Edited by Bertuzzi Babe, 26 October 2012 - 05:07 PM.

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Ense petit placidam sub libertate quietem.....



#173 BananaMash

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Posted 26 October 2012 - 05:04 PM

Peer pressure is the thing that makes kids smoke cigarettes, do drugs and read pornographic magazines by the time they reach middle school. As countless PSAs and after-school specials taught us, we must teach our kids to be themselves and never give two halves of a frack about what their "friends" think.


Pffft middle school. Grade 5. ^_^
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#174 Buddhas Hand

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Posted 26 October 2012 - 05:05 PM

Wow what a slut she had a gangbang with 4 football players she's the one who ruined her rep and pretty much made her a easy target.


This post is Offensive on so many levels .
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The Real war is not between the east and the west. The real war is between intelligent and stupid people.

Marjane Satrapi

tony-abbott-and-stephen-harper-custom-da

That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons that history has to teach.

Aldous Huxley.


#175 Buddhas Hand

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Posted 26 October 2012 - 05:08 PM

Pffft middle school. Grade 5. ^_^


Never had much interest in porn myself , but i know lots about being a ten year old boy :lol:
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The Real war is not between the east and the west. The real war is between intelligent and stupid people.

Marjane Satrapi

tony-abbott-and-stephen-harper-custom-da

That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons that history has to teach.

Aldous Huxley.


#176 pimpcurtly

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Posted 26 October 2012 - 05:20 PM

Well said, RUPERTKBD! :)


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#177 Caboose

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Posted 26 October 2012 - 06:50 PM

This post is Offensive on so many levels .


I'm sorry you were deeply offended by the actions of an anonymous stranger.
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#178 Stizz19

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Posted 26 October 2012 - 10:54 PM

Absolutely incorrect.

I most certainly care when a young person's life is ended unnecessarily and I believe that many others in this thread (BB, 'Coaster, CJ, Wizdom, theminister, Dellins, Jai, Pimp, etc) feel the same way.

Just because you don't care, it doesn't mean that you have to attempt to paint the rest of us as hypocrites, just so you can feel better about your own callousness.


Just because people type they care, and reiterate by typing yet again that they care, doesn't mean they actually care. It is horrible that bullies exist, and it's even worse that people commit suicide over said bully but it doesn't affect me, or even many of you in anyway at all. Some of you may have been bullied but really, does it hit that close to home? Sh*t's going down in Syria and 99.9123445% (pulled that out of nowhere) of people could really care less, why should this be any different?
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#179 BZRK

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Posted 26 October 2012 - 10:57 PM

She made some sh*tty choices, and you have to deal with the consequences. Should this have happened? Absolutely not. But if you make a wrong decision, you have to be responsible for your actions.
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#180 Wolfman Jack

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Posted 27 October 2012 - 02:54 AM

What happened to whuppin' the bully's ass? That usually solves the problem

No it doesn't, bully's usually pick on someone half their size, so there isn't much chance of winning a fight, and even if they get whupped, either another will step in to take his place or he will come back with reinforcements, I spent years fighting bullies and got nowhere, another thing they love to do is turn your friends against you so you have no one to turn to, ever tried to take on an entire school? Ever spent years with no one you can talk to or trust? It isn't hard for me to understand why some give up and also why some flip out and show up with a gun, you hit a point where you just cannot take it anymore.

Edited by Norman Clegg, 27 October 2012 - 02:59 AM.

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Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction.
Blaise Pascal




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