confessions

[Alflives]

1 minute ago, BananaMash said:

My confession is that even though I have a strong group of very loyal friends, I feel lonely all the time and it bothers me. I'm not really sure why either.

There are times we all feel alone; we are unique individuals.

Love yourself, and count your blessings (family, friends, health, home, etc.) every time you feel alone.  Remember, you are loved by many.  

 

 

[BananaMash]

Just now, Alflives said:

There are times we all feel alone; we are unique individuals.

Love yourself, and count your blessings (family, friends, health, home, etc.) every time you feel alone.  Remember, you are loved by many.  

 

 

Thanks man.

I actually do love myself and my friends dearly. They're amazing people. It's just a feeling I can't ever seem to shake, but I wouldn't trade the people I keep around for anything.

[Alflives]

Just now, BananaMash said:

Thanks man.

I actually do love myself and my friends dearly. They're amazing people. It's just a feeling I can't ever seem to shake, but I wouldn't trade the people I keep around for anything.

Talk to your family and friends.  Share with them.  They will listen.  

You are most welcome.

 

[Cramarossa]

I really don't like Travis Greene's face. I think it's the round, babyish features. His look makes me irrationally angry; I can't stand to watch him in interviews. He's probably a nice guy, but something about him is so off-putting I don't even want to give him a chance.

[Guest]

41 minutes ago, Cramarossa said:

I really don't like Travis Greene's face. I think it's the round, babyish features. His look makes me irrationally angry; I can't stand to watch him in interviews. He's probably a nice guy, but something about him is so off-putting I don't even want to give him a chance.

After real good Willie, I'm okay having someone with an edge around

[J-23]

1 hour ago, Incursio said:

After real good Willie, I'm okay having someone with an edge around

Yeah I agree, just want a coach like AV back, someone who is going to stick long term. I don't want anymore Torts or Willie, coaches that we fire every 2-3 years. It's not good for our players.

[JM_]

On 9/11/2017 at 7:01 PM, BananaMash said:

My confession is that even though I have a strong group of very loyal friends, I feel lonely all the time and it bothers me. I'm not really sure why either.

Are you doing what you want to do with your life? 

[riffraff]

13 hours ago, Cramarossa said:

I really don't like Travis Greene's face. I think it's the round, babyish features. His look makes me irrationally angry; I can't stand to watch him in interviews. He's probably a nice guy, but something about him is so off-putting I don't even want to give him a chance.

I kinda feel ya here. Not into hearing his voice much either.

[Tre Mac]

14 hours ago, Cramarossa said:

I really don't like Travis Greene's face. I think it's the round, babyish features. His look makes me irrationally angry; I can't stand to watch him in interviews. He's probably a nice guy, but something about him is so off-putting I don't even want to give him a chance.

 

13 hours ago, Incursio said:

After real good Willie, I'm okay having someone with an edge around

I trust Jam Banning's scouting but you know, I just don't like the way, you know, he talks in , you know , interviews.

[BananaMash]

13 hours ago, Jimmy McGill said:

Are you doing what you want to do with your life? 

At the larger scale not yet, really. But I'm working toward it. I do take satisfaction in the fact that I'm not complacent and genuinely building toward my life goals. At the present I'm not particularly happy with my life but I know it's temporary.

 

On a smaller level, definitely. I do all the things I like, and I put all my effort into them. 

 

I think I just struggle with letting myself connect with people, even friends and family. I have valid reasons for this, but it's something I'm working on too. It's a mindset that makes you feel isolated.

Edited September 13, 2017 by BananaMash

[JM_]

9 minutes ago, BananaMash said:

At the larger scale not yet, really. But I'm working toward it. I do take satisfaction in the fact that I'm not complacent and genuinely building toward my life goals. At the present I'm not particularly happy with my life but I know it's temporary.

 

On a smaller level, definitely. I do all the things I like, and I put all my effort into them. 

 

I think I just struggle with letting myself connect with people, even friends and family. I have valid reasons for this, but it's something I'm working on too. It's a mindset that makes you feel isolated.

I understand that. I needed to move out of province before I could work through that. 

[BananaMash]

3 hours ago, Jimmy McGill said:

I understand that. I needed to move out of province before I could work through that. 

That's why I'm looking forward to leaving here again. Living somewhere with no real personal history always feels refreshing to me.

[zombieksa]

I am 27. 

I live at home because my last two relationships failed and I couldn't kick them out.

I have severe depression and bipolar disease. I rarely feel like I will accomplish anything, I constantly remind myself that the parking garage a Ceasars Windsor is high enough to do what I want to do, and even though I know I have loved ones, I know I wouldn't know that after. i am not happy. 

 

When I was single and lonely, I would sleep with anyone I found attractive, even friends' girls. Because I needed some sense of reason and touch.

Hell my last ban for Floyd vs Mayweather was for people to like me.

I hate myself.

 

and I worry myself this is a last goodbye whenever I admit it to myself.

 

Edited September 13, 2017 by zombieksa

[JM_]

21 minutes ago, BananaMash said:

That's why I'm looking forward to leaving here again. Living somewhere with no real personal history always feels refreshing to me.

For me I think it may have been growing up in a family business, it was hard for me to think of myself outside of that context, but once I did get away from all that all the things that matter to me started to occur and show up in my life. 

[Cramarossa]

1 hour ago, zombieksa said:

and I worry myself this is a last goodbye whenever I admit it to myself.

 

Have you tried getting any kind of treatment? Does your family know what you're going through? If not, I think should reach out. I am not familiar wit what kind of resources are available in Canada or suicidal ideation and counseling (like a national help line, etc) but I can look one up when I'm off work. 

[chon derry]

1 hour ago, zombieksa said:

I am 27. 

I live at home because my last two relationships failed and I couldn't kick them out.

I have severe depression and bipolar disease. I rarely feel like I will accomplish anything, I constantly remind myself that the parking garage a Ceasars Windsor is high enough to do what I want to do, and even though I know I have loved ones, I know I wouldn't know that after. i am not happy. 

 

When I was single and lonely, I would sleep with anyone I found attractive, even friends' girls. Because I needed some sense of reason and touch.

Hell my last ban for Floyd vs Mayweather was for people to like me.

I hate myself.

 

and I worry myself this is a last goodbye whenever I admit it to myself.

 

i know its just a song  but listen to it

 

 

[JM_]

9 minutes ago, Cramarossa said:

Have you tried getting any kind of treatment? Does your family know what you're going through? If not, I think should reach out. I am not familiar wit what kind of resources are available in Canada or suicidal ideation and counseling (like a national help line, etc) but I can look one up when I'm off work. 

https://mindcheck.ca

 

@zombieksa this site was really good for a close family member of mine

 

Edited September 14, 2017 by Jimmy McGill

[BananaMash]

4 hours ago, zombieksa said:

I am 27. 

I live at home because my last two relationships failed and I couldn't kick them out.

I have severe depression and bipolar disease. I rarely feel like I will accomplish anything, I constantly remind myself that the parking garage a Ceasars Windsor is high enough to do what I want to do, and even though I know I have loved ones, I know I wouldn't know that after. i am not happy. 

 

When I was single and lonely, I would sleep with anyone I found attractive, even friends' girls. Because I needed some sense of reason and touch.

Hell my last ban for Floyd vs Mayweather was for people to like me.

I hate myself.

 

and I worry myself this is a last goodbye whenever I admit it to myself.

 

I know that it might not mean a whole lot coming from someone on the internet, but I would just like so say a few things. I've been in a very similar place for a very long time until recently, and I know how you feel. Between the cycle of wanting to improve and then hating yourself too much to even bother, I know it all feels suffocating most of the time. There's no reason for you to feel shame for these things, not even the suicidal thoughts. I hope you know that. The things you are dealing with are already rough, don't make them harder by blaming yourself for things out of your control. 

 

You might not feel like you accomplish a whole lot, but you still trying your best to keep going forward while dealing with the demons you're dealing with is an accomplishment. You might not be the ideal version of yourself right now, and might be experiencing very heavily suicidal thoughts, but you're still here. That's an accomplishment, man. I'd argue that's the biggest accomplishment someone dealing with this sort of thing can have. And right now, you're accomplishing that at a minimum every single day. Be proud of this. Because it sure as hell isn't easy.

 

Baby steps can make a world of difference. A year ago I had a set date in my head to kill myself, and today I can happily say those feelings are gone. I was in that mindset for 8 years too. If you ever need to talk, you can always PM me. Hell, I'd give you my phone number to talk if you needed to. Just remember, this fight doesn't have to be just you vs. the world. Many people would have your back, mental illness isn't a joke.

[Twilight Sparkle]

On 12/09/2017 at 7:59 PM, Cramarossa said:

I really don't like Travis Greene's face. I think it's the round, babyish features. His look makes me irrationally angry; I can't stand to watch him in interviews. He's probably a nice guy, but something about him is so off-putting I don't even want to give him a chance.

Maybe the team does so bad this year that he turns heel and starts cutting promos on everyone. Not everyone has the gift of gab like torto, but at least he won't be a filthy normie 

[Tre Mac]

It always feels good to vent and get things off your chest so to speak even if it's to strangers on the internet.  The path to a better way of life begins with just one step.  I wish you guys good luck!

 

On a lighter note, I can't believe all this time I thought the saying was 'nip it in the butt' when in fact it's 'nip it in the bud' a gardening reference and I used to be a landscaper too.  #$%^ no wonder everyone thinks I am a some kind moran