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I am often jealous of cats and the simplicity and luxury of their lives. I think I'd be a great cat if the universe ever decides to reincarnate me.

Average indoor cat lifespan: 15 years. If you are much over that you would be dead now.

Edit: Confession: I once punched a baby but in my defense he was being a total dick. I dont know what that babies problem was.

Edited by Offensive Threat
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Also, I'm going to build a rack for my bicycle to save space in my apartment, but I don't know enough about handymanning to know how to do it. I suspect I need to find two studs and just drill a good sized bar or hook in to hold the weight of my bike.

But this is all moontalk. I don't have the sticktoitiveness to follow this project through to the end.

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I'm browsing Backpage and I suspect these hookers aren't going to be as pretty as their picture...

you're over 30 and don't have a girlfriend yet, so you might as well take what you can get at this point

Ryan Kesler is probably in my top 300 favourite NHL player list.

i feel the same about corey perry D:

Edited by Twilight Sparkle
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Forgive me Father TS for I have sinned it has been 526,600 minutes since my last confession. I accuse myself of the following sins.

- My sister pees a little when she laughs so last Thanksgiving dinner when she took the last piece of cornbread I tickled her merciless and took her cornbread while she was crying and hiding in the bathroom.

- When I sleep over peoples houses I kiss them on the mouth while they sleep.

- I tell people I will pray for them but then I just go home and get drunk and eat sushi.

- I think about Aladeen's bulge sometimes.

- I clip my toenails then throw them off my balcony.

- I lie about my genital size because I assume all women are bad at math.

- I am bored and no longer wish to confess my sins so I am not going to finish this confession.

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Forgive me Father TS for I have sinned it has been 526,600 minutes since my last confession. I accuse myself of the following sins.

- My sister pees a little when she laughs so last Thanksgiving dinner when she took the last piece of cornbread I tickled her merciless and took her cornbread while she was crying and hiding in the bathroom.

- When I sleep over peoples houses I kiss them on the mouth while they sleep.

- I tell people I will pray for them but then I just go home and get drunk and eat sushi.

- I think about Aladeen's bulge sometimes.

- I clip my toenails then throw them off my balcony.

- I lie about my genital size because I assume all women are bad at math.

- I am bored and no longer wish to confess my sins so I am not going to finish this confession.

lord. please guide this man in to your arms, please rid him of all his evils, PLEASE, OH HOLY GHOST, BRING THIS MAN IN TO THE LIGHT~ AND SATAN; YOU'RE NOT WELCOME HERE. YOU PREY OFF THE MIND OF THE WEAK. I COMMAND YOU TO GET BACK BEHIND ME, SATAN. GET BACK BEHIND ME

i can feel it now. all of your demons are leaving your body. HAAAA MAAAALLICICICKAHINYHOOOOOO

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