nucklehead Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 No foolin' - Unicorn meat is real! Excellent source of sparkles! Rick Bite Unicorns, as we all know, frolic all over the world, pooping rainbows and marshmallows wherever they go. What you don't know is that when unicorns reach the end of their lifespan, they are drawn to County Meath, Ireland. The Sisters at Radiant Farms have dedicated their lives to nursing these elegant creatures through their final days. Taking a cue from the Kobe beef industry, they massage each unicorn's coat with Guinness daily and fatten them on a diet comprised entirely of candy corn. As the unicorn ages, its meat becomes fatty and marbled and the living bone in the horn loses density in a process much like osteoporosis. The horn's outer layer of keratin begins to develop a flavor very similar to candied almonds. Blending the crushed unicorn horn into the meat adds delightful, crispy flavor notes in each bite. We are confident you will find a world of bewilderment in every mouthful of scrumptious unicorn meat. Tasty Magical Beast Diagram Parts Unfortunately, due to restrictions on the importation of mythical processed meatstuff, we are unable to bring you Canned Unicorn Meat in the way the Sisters of Radiant Farms intended. When you open your can, you will find one tiny unicorn which has been appropriately sliced into its main cuts of meat. Simply use your Growth Ray to re-embiggen the unicorn before skinning it and processing its flesh. Or if you're lazy, just bring it to your local Mad Scientist-Butcher. He'll know what to do. Link to comment
Scottish⑦Canuck Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 Fun fact of the day: The unicorn is our national animal. Link to comment
Dancin'Droid Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 7 minutes ago, Scottish⑦Canuck said: Fun fact of the day: The unicorn is our national animal. Does that mean it is illegal for you to eat this? Link to comment
nucklehead Posted December 13, 2015 Author Share Posted December 13, 2015 I'm sorry I didn't know. That would be like selling a Canada goose down at the market. Oh well you're far away, doesn't matter. Link to comment
thejazz97 Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 9 minutes ago, Scottish⑦Canuck said: Fun fact of the day: The unicorn is our national animal. Makes sense why they go to Ireland at the end of their lives. Link to comment
HK Phooey Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 2 hours ago, nucklehead said: No foolin' - Unicorn meat is real! Excellent source of sparkles! Rick Bite Unicorns, as we all know, frolic all over the world, pooping rainbows and marshmallows wherever they go. What you don't know is that when unicorns reach the end of their lifespan, they are drawn to County Meath, Ireland. The Sisters at Radiant Farms have dedicated their lives to nursing these elegant creatures through their final days. Taking a cue from the Kobe beef industry, they massage each unicorn's coat with Guinness daily and fatten them on a diet comprised entirely of candy corn. As the unicorn ages, its meat becomes fatty and marbled and the living bone in the horn loses density in a process much like osteoporosis. The horn's outer layer of keratin begins to develop a flavor very similar to candied almonds. Blending the crushed unicorn horn into the meat adds delightful, crispy flavor notes in each bite. We are confident you will find a world of bewilderment in every mouthful of scrumptious unicorn meat. Tasty Magical Beast Diagram Parts Unfortunately, due to restrictions on the importation of mythical processed meatstuff, we are unable to bring you Canned Unicorn Meat in the way the Sisters of Radiant Farms intended. When you open your can, you will find one tiny unicorn which has been appropriately sliced into its main cuts of meat. Simply use your Growth Ray to re-embiggen the unicorn before skinning it and processing its flesh. Or if you're lazy, just bring it to your local Mad Scientist-Butcher. He'll know what to do. It looks we've got to do a little cross border shopping to get some tasty unicorn meat...dang those language cops that want bilingual labels. Link to comment
Mr.DirtyDangles Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 TS must be livid right now, probably gearing up for an assault on a unicorn meat factory as we speak. Link to comment
Nuxfanabroad Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 The tragedy is how the Chinese consider the horn an aphrodisiac..Gawd knows how many they've taken in the illicit unicorn-trade! had something about this somewheres..gotta look fer the missing link... Link to comment
Twilight Sparkle Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 a moment of silence, please .__. Link to comment
Nuxfanabroad Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 "Well there were GREEN alligators & humpbacked geese Them long-neck camels & monkeys in fleece Cats & rats & mastodons, but as shure as yer born The gamest can of spam was the UNICORN!!!" Link to comment
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