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"I am lonely. Will you be my friend? PLEASE DON'T EVER LEAVE ME."


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#1 Mainly Mattias

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Posted 21 February 2013 - 09:51 PM

Fact: people really do avoid the lonely guy. The lonely person can find themselves in a vicious circle whereby some behaviours aimed at achieving human contact actually have the opposite effect and scare other people away. People do not respond well to the following approaches: "I am lonely, will you be my friend?", "I'm so alone right now, please don't ever leave me."

Lonely men commonly make (or have already made) a classic mistake whereby they hope that a partner will provide for them a meaning, a social life, fun and all the things that make a "life". This is an unfair expectation on any partner and often sets things up for a problematic, and all-too-often brief, relationship. Lonely guys need to develop a friendship group with other men before embarking on any romantic relationship.

Being lonely for a partner (more common in lonely women) is not the same as being lonely in life (most common in lonely men).

As loneliness becomes chronic, the person will engage in compensatory (often solitary) behaviours - such as keeping reptiles, visiting prostitutes, becoming the drunk bar-fly, spending evenings in chat rooms on the internet, watching endless amounts of television etc. For some, work may become the main focus of their life.

Paradoxically, lonely people can feel intimidated by social invitations and may shun them. This fulfils a feedback loop whereby, as time passes, the social invites stop coming in.

A lonely person may have a pet that becomes the focus of their emotional life. For example, one colleague whose husband had left her 2 years previously had suddenly found herself alone. For example, all her friends were actually friends of her husband and all her social activities also revolved around the husband. When he left her, so did all her social outlets. Her loneliness was profound and she came across to everyone as clingy, insecure and desperate, which of course meant that people stayed away from her. She bought a pet, which then became what appeared to be the sole focus of her life and soon her colleagues were being driven mad by the daily updates in the dramas of this pet's life


ok.. so chronically lonely people:
  • Keep reptiles
  • Visit prostitutes
  • Become drunk at the bar
  • Go into the interwebz for chatz
  • Watch hours of tv
  • Work a lot
  • Shun social invites
  • Have a pet
Hmm.. I'm 3 out of 8 so far in this oh so scientific article.

...but with all that aside, all I'm thinking about is how people would react to: "I'm lonely. Will you be my friend?" and "I'm so alone right now, please don't ever leave me."

I'm tempted to take public transic just to say this to strangers.
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“Your journey has molded you for your greater good, and it was exactly what it needed to be. Don't think you've lost time. There is no short-cutting to life. It took each and every situation you have encountered to bring you to the now. And now is right on time.” ― Asha Tyson

#2 JimLahey

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Posted 21 February 2013 - 09:53 PM

What they call lonely, I call living.

:frantic:
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#3 Lillooet_Hillbilly

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Posted 21 February 2013 - 09:58 PM

im 4/8 but im not lonely im anti social
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#4 allkill326

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Posted 21 February 2013 - 10:02 PM

im 4/8 but im not lonely im anti social


Yo man, have you tried contacting Kids Help Phone?
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#5 ManUtd

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Posted 21 February 2013 - 10:04 PM

I'm also 4/8. This criteria seems to lump lonely people and introverts together. I prefer being alone and always have.
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#6 Gumballthechewy

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Posted 21 February 2013 - 10:04 PM

If you go on public transit to do that can you recored it and post it here? I would love to see that.
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#7 Grapefruits

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Posted 21 February 2013 - 10:05 PM

2 of 8 but only because I'm to cheap to visit hookers. I tend to get drunk at the bar as to not need hookers
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#8 One one two

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Posted 21 February 2013 - 10:05 PM

im 4/8 but im not lonely im anti social


Introvert might be a better word in this case.
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#9 BananaMash

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Posted 21 February 2013 - 10:06 PM

ok.. so chronically lonely people:

  • Keep reptiles
  • Have a pet


That's pretty much the exact same thing, lmao. I guess I'm number 1, 8, and whatever the internet chat one is. I'm out with friends a lot too though, so I say bah humbug to your personality test.

No nobody talk to me while I sit in the corner and cry.

Edited by BananaMash, 21 February 2013 - 10:08 PM.

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#10 Lillooet_Hillbilly

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Posted 21 February 2013 - 10:09 PM

Yo man, have you tried contacting Kids Help Phone?

im 32 years old............
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#11 BananaMash

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Posted 21 February 2013 - 10:12 PM

*
POPULAR

im 32 years old............


Just ignore allkill, it's the most practical solution.
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#12 Peaches

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Posted 21 February 2013 - 10:14 PM

If CDC counts as "chatz on interwebz" I'm 2/8
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#13 Aladeen

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Posted 21 February 2013 - 10:17 PM

If CDC counts as "chatz on interwebz" I'm 2/8

Is the other one the prostitutes?
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#14 Lillooet_Hillbilly

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Posted 21 February 2013 - 10:50 PM

btw im 5,6,7,8
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#15 Phil_314

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Posted 21 February 2013 - 10:51 PM

ok.. so chronically lonely people

  • Visit prostitutes
  • Become drunk at the bar
  • Go into the interwebz for chatz
  • Watch hours of tv
  • Work a lot
  • Shun social invites
  • Have a pet
...but with all that aside, all I'm thinking about is how people would react to: "I'm lonely. Will you be my friend?" and "I'm so alone right now, please don't ever leave me."


Surprised at number 6 (someone explain to me?), but the bolded points shouldn't. Frankly, if you also want to see the reaction it shouldn't be so difficult really, I mean frankly how would you react if someone else was really clingy with you?

Edited by g@m3b0i, 21 February 2013 - 10:52 PM.

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#16 Mainly Mattias

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Posted 21 February 2013 - 10:59 PM

If you go on public transit to do that can you recored it and post it here? I would love to see that.

thanks for reminding me that i'm alone and have no one to hold a camera to record anything.

joins bm in the corner and cries

That's pretty much the exact same thing, lmao. I guess I'm number 1, 8, and whatever the internet chat one is. I'm out with friends a lot too though, so I say bah humbug to your personality test.

No nobody talk to me while I sit in the corner and cry.

bm! you're alive!
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“Your journey has molded you for your greater good, and it was exactly what it needed to be. Don't think you've lost time. There is no short-cutting to life. It took each and every situation you have encountered to bring you to the now. And now is right on time.” ― Asha Tyson

#17 SkeeterHansen

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Posted 21 February 2013 - 11:23 PM

I always get drunk at the bars. But I'm far from lonely. It might actually be another problem...
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/=S=/


#18 ajhockey

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Posted 21 February 2013 - 11:33 PM

They may be mixing up lonely with introverted.
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#19 cadillaccts

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Posted 21 February 2013 - 11:35 PM

I'm 1 out of 8.

A life without prostitutes isn't a life worth living.
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#20 Kass9

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Posted 21 February 2013 - 11:37 PM

0 for me
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#21 BananaMash

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Posted 22 February 2013 - 12:09 AM

bm! you're alive!


I just had surgery, and they managed not to kill me! Huzzah!
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#22 Mainly Mattias

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Posted 22 February 2013 - 02:15 AM

I just had surgery, and they managed not to kill me! Huzzah!

good job on staying alive
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“Your journey has molded you for your greater good, and it was exactly what it needed to be. Don't think you've lost time. There is no short-cutting to life. It took each and every situation you have encountered to bring you to the now. And now is right on time.” ― Asha Tyson

#23 Bitter Melon

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Posted 22 February 2013 - 02:25 AM

Who needs other people anyway?
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#24 :D

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Posted 22 February 2013 - 02:48 AM

5/8, yikes
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#25 Gumballthechewy

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Posted 22 February 2013 - 11:46 AM

thanks for reminding me that i'm alone and have no one to hold a camera to record anything.

joins bm in the corner and cries


Mwa ha ha ha haaaaa!!!!

I am the spreader of misery and loneliness! All shall feel dispare at my coming!

Especially the ladies....
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#26 Scottish⑦Canuck

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Posted 22 February 2013 - 12:26 PM

  • Watch hours of tv
  • Work a lot
  • Shun social invites
I don't always shun social invites. Sometimes I just can't be bothered though, so I stay in and have a quiet night.
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#27 Tig'ol Bitties

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Posted 22 February 2013 - 12:44 PM

4 and 6 for me.
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#28 Scott Hartnell's Mane

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Posted 22 February 2013 - 01:03 PM

3 out of 8...#4, #5, and #8...when I drink it most certainly isn't at a bar. lol.
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#29 J.R.

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Posted 22 February 2013 - 01:51 PM

teh Interwebz

and I have pets
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#30 Argon

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Posted 22 February 2013 - 01:53 PM

don't worry MM, if you start acquiring reptiles, you can always have ikea meatballs with me 5>

Edited by Argon, 22 February 2013 - 01:54 PM.

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Yo Yo you cant see me anyway what i dont need to writing skills to act cool i got froobacks and steel chains to act cool i lead the new school. Iam untochable this wont be a fight ill walk away with your mic and make you suck your own tailpipe



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