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Extremely accurate analysis on why the Canucks will win in 7.


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#1 High Violet

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Posted 06 May 2013 - 06:47 AM

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So I know we're down 3-0. It's not pretty and the luck isn't with us.

But destiny is.

Here are the facts, because I'm a facts kind of person. We'll start with San Jose.
Let's look at "San Jose".

SAN
JOSE

IT IS NO COINCIDENCE THAT THEY ARE BROKEN THE WAY THEY ARE

SAN = 3 LETTERS = first three wins -> SJ
JOSE = 4 LETTERS = next four wins -> VAN

the proof is amazing
but there is more

When's the next game?

May 7th.

SEVENTH

SEVENTH

SEVENTH

and when we win, it will start the fifth game ---> FIFTH MONTH OF THE YEAR

COINCIDENCE?







NO



IT IS A SIGN FROM OUR GOD. And who is God's son?

Godson. CODY HODGSON. GODSON. And he has already sacrificed himself to the SABRES
FOR US
SLASHED AND STABBED TO DEATH BY SABRES AND THEN EATEN BY COWS


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he even still bleeds blue and green

also do not forget "hodgson" has 7 letters -- for 7 games -- and "cody" has 4 letters -- for 4 wins

But it's not over yet...
ZACK KASSIAN

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his name ALSO 4 LETTERS FOLLOWED BY 7

IT MEANS that he and GODSON ARE THE SAME PERSON


IT IS DESTINY
(DESTINY ALSO HAS 7 LETTERS)

here is some more data/projections that i have crunched using my superbrain.

Players that will excel in the next 4 games:

Dan HAMHUIS = 7 letters for game 7, each letter in first name for total goals to be scored in series (therefore 3 goals)

Alex BURROWS = 7 letters for game 7. (4 goals)

Tom SESTITO = 3 goals

Zack KASSIAN = 4 goals

Chris HIGGINS = 5 goals

Keith BALLARD = 5 goals

Mason RAYMOND = 5 goals

Frank CORRADO = 5 goals

Andrew ALBERTS = 6 goals <-- hero

total: 3 + 4 + 3 + 4 + 5 + 5 + 5+ 5 + 6 = 40 goals!!!! In 4 games!!!!11

also note that 4 players will score 5 goals.

FOUR. FOUR WINS...AND NIEMI ONLY HAS 5 LETTERS IN HIS NAME
AKA HIS LUCK IS UP (also remember that we have, hitherto game 4, scored only 5 goals)

may i also recommend (although hopefully unnecessary) to MG/AV to start Joe Cannata -- the prophecy says that he will score 3 goals, somehow. I am not sure how, but I believe it.

I

BELIEVE

IT



This concludes my statistical research. There is absolutely no conceivable way that the Vancouver Canucks can lose their playoff series against San Jose. The math simply does not add up, and the probability of San Jose winning has literally become 0 (see below):

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Notes:
I calculate that the margin of error in my mathematical models is approximately 0%, which means the projections are within reasonable bounds.

Edited by High Violet, 06 May 2013 - 07:16 AM.

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#2 uber_pwnzor

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Posted 06 May 2013 - 06:48 AM

Bullet proof!
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#3 ghjffbali

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Posted 06 May 2013 - 06:49 AM

Days like these make me miss the minus button.....
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#4 topbananas

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Posted 06 May 2013 - 06:52 AM

Days like these make me miss the minus button.....


wise up man......this is absolutely superb!!! well done OP, love it ::D
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stan smyl 2.0

Posted Yesterday, 09:07 AM

It's not 7.5 per year, Kesler's at 5 million and Malhotra's at 2.5 million

#5 RUPERTKBD

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Posted 06 May 2013 - 06:53 AM

Good to see that someone can still inject some humor after last night's game. It certainly beats all of the Fire everyone! Trade everyone! threads that will be the norm for the next while.
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Orland Kurtenbach and Dennis Kearns had just been torched 8-1 by the Habs, but they still took time to come out to meet us, some fellow BC boys who were playing hockey in Montreal. THAT"S what being a Canuck is!

#6 ghjffbali

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Posted 06 May 2013 - 06:55 AM

lol I'm sorry I was too tired to notice the sarcasm :lol:
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#7 timberz21

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Posted 06 May 2013 - 06:59 AM

or it could means

SAN = 3 LETTERS = first three wins -> SJ
JOSE = 4 LETTERS = number of days before AV gets fired, which would be thursday, meaning 2 days after the sweep (wednesday for Gillis to think about it and official announcement thursday..
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#8 Ginu

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Posted 06 May 2013 - 07:00 AM

Good laugh
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#9 MANGO

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Posted 06 May 2013 - 07:19 AM

Thank you op, you just made my day.The Kassian 7 sign made me rotfl hahaha.
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formerly......puck n icehole


#10 Not A Fruit

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Posted 06 May 2013 - 07:26 AM

how could someone minus this? :lol: thanks for the laugh!! we will win for sure.
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Special Thanks to Twilight Sparkle ^

#11 Gustavo Fring

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Posted 06 May 2013 - 07:29 AM

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA

+1
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#12 Prngr44

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Posted 06 May 2013 - 07:30 AM

Ok that is hilarious.
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I hate the Canucks so much they're my second favorite team.
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#13 raymondsplayoffbeard

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Posted 06 May 2013 - 07:34 AM

I like you attitude! :towel:
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Pack 'er up


#14 Xbox

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Posted 06 May 2013 - 07:37 AM

Did you know that after a Canadian team hosts the olympics that the team wins the cup the next year? Well, it was true and so were all the stats in 2011.

2011 was our time and we came up short. I like the positivity in here, but the odds of us coming back are next to none. I think it was only like 3 or 4 teams that came back from a 3-0 deficit to win and only 6 or 7 were able to win 3 after losing 3 (Chicago....)

This team needs a Re-Tooling. And we need to get Edler someone who he can play with. (Salo, Ehrhoff). He can't play with Garrison or Bieksa.

Edler, Kesler, and Schneider should be our core. Re-Tool around them.

Edited by Henrik Sedin, 06 May 2013 - 07:43 AM.

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small.pngGM - STHS                                  Sig Cred to -Vintage Canuck-

 

 


#15 Kumquats

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Posted 06 May 2013 - 07:53 AM

Go Canucks Golf!
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#16 crime911

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Posted 06 May 2013 - 08:06 AM

we will win game 4 then lose game 5 series is over.. gm and coach will be same next year.. because of weak division we will be in top 3 position .. team will be same... sedins will still struggle and never show up in the playofffs... (this is not my usual self talking.. its fan frustration towards its teams.
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#17 TheTruthHurts

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Posted 06 May 2013 - 08:10 AM

This isn't funny and get over the loss.
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#18 Merely

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Posted 06 May 2013 - 08:16 AM

AHAHAHAH the Kassian one!
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#19 Pears

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Posted 06 May 2013 - 08:18 AM

This isn't funny and get over the loss.

How about stop trolling? The OP's post and Apples's GDT have been the only funny things over the last 5 days.

+1 OP that was awesome
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In my eyes drouin is overrated he can score in the qmjhl but did nothing in last two gold medal games that canada lost. Fox will be better pro than him talk to me in five yrs


   ryan kesler is going to the chicago blackhawks ...       quote me on it


#20 PolishSausage

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Posted 06 May 2013 - 08:26 AM

Using probability theory, the canucks have a aprox. 50/50 chance or 1/2 to win each of the next four games. 1/2*1/2*1/2*1/2 = 1/16 or 6.25% chance to win the series in 7 games.

So not impossible, but it aint happening.

I do prefer to look at it from High Violets perspective, his evidence is bullet proof.
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#21 NUCKS4CUP 28

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Posted 06 May 2013 - 08:31 AM

I would also like to add that "Bobby Lu" and "Roberto" both have 7 letters, therefore I came to the conclusion Luongo takes this team to round 2.
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Believe in bLUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

#22 -Vintage Canuck-

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Posted 06 May 2013 - 08:32 AM

This isn't funny and get over the loss.


Your username fits well.
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#23 Average Joe

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Posted 06 May 2013 - 08:33 AM

um..No since trading Cody Hodgson, this team has gone downhill. Sorry to say but Canucks just isn't a canucks anymore. This team has no heart, grit and toughness.
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You want the truth, you can't handle the truth! But I can.

#24 Durl Dixsun

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Posted 06 May 2013 - 08:35 AM

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#25 OptionalPants

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Posted 06 May 2013 - 08:38 AM

um..No since trading Cody Hodgson, this team has gone downhill. Sorry to say but Canucks just isn't a canucks anymore. This team has no heart, grit and toughness.

Some people just don't know what a joke is anymore. Good Job on the thread! Funniest I've seen for a while
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Credit to euphoria/ for the awesome sauce sig

#26 thundernuts

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Posted 06 May 2013 - 08:47 AM

Awesome! I'll go place my bet!
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#27 elvis15

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Posted 06 May 2013 - 10:48 AM

Thank you op, you just made my day.The Kassian 7 sign made me rotfl hahaha.

Yup, that was the Glenn Beck stretch that made me laugh the most.

But good lawd was that a welcome change from the thousands (well, maybe only tens, but it seemed like thousands) of threads from last night and this morning.
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If this team lets go of Sang he will burn this team next year. 

 


#28 Stick-in-Rink

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Posted 06 May 2013 - 10:54 AM

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, this made me literally laugh out loud. I needed this hahahaha.
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#29 TheFastOne21

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Posted 06 May 2013 - 10:54 AM

Well done OP. Good laugh out of that. A much much needed good laugh.
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#30 Mrjimmy

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Posted 06 May 2013 - 10:56 AM

Funny post :lol:
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