Rib Shaming

[Aladeen]

I don't know where else to turn guys, I am so depressed, I have lost sleep, I need advice on what to do.

Here is my story and I will warn you it may be too sad for some of you to read. 

On Sunday I went to Montana's Cookhouse... I was stoked to say the least! All you can eat ribs any day of the week! Frack Yah!

I get there and the place is empty, I go up to the hostess lady and she hands me a pager... like really? a pager? whatever... it takes about 20 minutes for my pager to flash and buzz.

So I sit down at the table and go straight to colouring with crayons on the big paper sheet they use for table clothes  because I knew what I was going to get so I didn't need the menu. 

The waitress comes over and I tell her all you can eat ribs please. She's like "oh how about we start with your drink order" in her Quebecois accent. Great idea I think to myself, I will need to wash down all the delicious ribs with something... so I order a Pepsi. 

That comes after about 5 minutes, but she doesn't take my order yet, she's busy so it's understandable. After about another 10 minutes she comes over and asks me what I want to order. I say all you can eat ribs!!! She says "great choice what kind will you have"  Uh apple butter... come on! "and what sides would you like?" here I am thinking IDGAF, I am here for the ribs dammit, other stuff just gets in the way. But I decide on salad and fries to humour her. 

So she takes my order and so I entertain myself by drawing more and more elaborate boobies in such a way that you can't tell they are a boobies unless you really look... it's a family restaurant after all. After about 30 minutes my ribs come... I am stoked, then the waitress says the most magical words I have ever heard "why don't you order your next ribs now so they come sooner?" I was like "You are a goddamn genius!" So I order up some Tangy Peach ribs.

I devour the first set of ribs in record time... by the time I finish the ribs, no Tangy peach ribs. Well about 15 minutes of more booby drawings and picking at rib bones for minute morsels of meat, the next batch comes, brought to me by a different waitress. These ribs are definitely smaller than the first apple butter ribs, so I think I will order the apple butter again (in case the rib size is defined by the flavour) right away, like the first waitress taught me. 

Well the same amount of time passes as last time and the new apple butter ribs come but they seem to be about the same size as the second ones (so I have now deduced that rib size is NOT depended on flavour). I proceed to order Honey Garlic. Same old song and dance, next up Honey Chipotle, Then Apple Butter (cause it is that good), about here is when I make the determination that I want to try ALL the flavours, I did order apple butter again but no big deal there are only two flavours left. 

Something horrible happens when they bring out the latest apple butter ribs, there are only 2 ribs on it. It is so small! Well I decide that maybe I have eaten them out of apple butter ribs, so I say to the latest waitress (a new one that seemed to be straight out of highschool, but they all look the same in their cowboy top and blue jeans) that has brought my ribs that I will go for the Texas Bold for my next round.

She looks at me in disgust and says "Oh my god you seriously want more?" so here I was taken aback. I just calmly and politely said "yah" She walks away shaking her head as she goes to serve another table. I do what any logical person would do and I ate the ribs. Well since there wasn't much to those ribs I finished them quickly. After that waitress was done serving the table she walked past my table on the way back to the kitchen, at first she passed by but then she backed up and looked at me and said, "Did you really finish all those ribs? Already?" I just lowered my head and said "Yes" Fighting back the tears of shame. 

Well the ribs took about 30 minutes to come out this time and were again the size of the last ones. The same waitress dropped them off on to my plate and waited for a second not saying anything. I just shook my head and she left. I didn't even eat the last ones I just boxed them up, paid then left. I never got to try the Mango Habanero. I never got to try the Mango Habanero. 

TL;DR Went to All you can eat ribs, got rib shamed by waitress for eating too many ribs. Never got to try Mango Habanero Ribs. 

[Duds]

Most tragic story I have read all day, and that's saying something since this morning I was engrossed in Schindler's List and this afternoon was focused on the refugee crisis and the difficulty of keeping Trudeau's hair in pristine condition. I feel for you Aladeen.

[slickjim23]

Why didn't you just have her executed? 

 

[coastal.view]

nice read

made me chuckle

but you know how it goes bud

all that marketing is just to get you into the place and ordering

it's not really to give you all you can eat, to make you truly happy, and it seems you have a hollow leg, which seemed to annoy the establishment

but i will avoid that place based on your description

i do love my ribs from time to time and have other places i target for that

p.s  if you had ordered 5 beers during your feast i think your second, third, fourth, etc portions might have been more to your liking

[MedicineHatCanuck]

IDK if this is a ture story but something similar happened when my hockey team went to Montanas. A guy order 5 racks of ribs and they progessively got smaller and took longer to arrive. 

[CBH1926]

1 hour ago, Aladeen said:

I don't know where else to turn guys, I am so depressed, I have lost sleep, I need advice on what to do.

Here is my story and I will warn you it may be too sad for some of you to read. 

On Sunday I went to Montana's Cookhouse... I was stoked to say the least! All you can eat ribs any day of the week! Frack Yah!

I get there and the place is empty, I go up to the hostess lady and she hands me a pager... like really? a pager? whatever... it takes about 20 minutes for my pager to flash and buzz.

So I sit down at the table and go straight to colouring with crayons on the big paper sheet they use for table clothes  because I knew what I was going to get so I didn't need the menu. 

The waitress comes over and I tell her all you can eat ribs please. She's like "oh how about we start with your drink order" in her Quebecois accent. Great idea I think to myself, I will need to wash down all the delicious ribs with something... so I order a Pepsi. 

That comes after about 5 minutes, but she doesn't take my order yet, she's busy so it's understandable. After about another 10 minutes she comes over and asks me what I want to order. I say all you can eat ribs!!! She says "great choice what kind will you have"  Uh apple butter... come on! "and what sides would you like?" here I am thinking IDGAF, I am here for the ribs dammit, other stuff just gets in the way. But I decide on salad and fries to humour her. 

So she takes my order and so I entertain myself by drawing more and more elaborate boobies in such a way that you can't tell they are a boobies unless you really look... it's a family restaurant after all. After about 30 minutes my ribs come... I am stoked, then the waitress says the most magical words I have ever heard "why don't you order your next ribs now so they come sooner?" I was like "You are a goddamn genius!" So I order up some Tangy Peach ribs.

I devour the first set of ribs in record time... by the time I finish the ribs, no Tangy peach ribs. Well about 15 minutes of more booby drawings and picking at rib bones for minute morsels of meat, the next batch comes, brought to me by a different waitress. These ribs are definitely smaller than the first apple butter ribs, so I think I will order the apple butter again (in case the rib size is defined by the flavour) right away, like the first waitress taught me. 

Well the same amount of time passes as last time and the new apple butter ribs come but they seem to be about the same size as the second ones (so I have now deduced that rib size is NOT depended on flavour). I proceed to order Honey Garlic. Same old song and dance, next up Honey Chipotle, Then Apple Butter (cause it is that good), about here is when I make the determination that I want to try ALL the flavours, I did order apple butter again but no big deal there are only two flavours left. 

Something horrible happens when they bring out the latest apple butter ribs, there are only 2 ribs on it. It is so small! Well I decide that maybe I have eaten them out of apple butter ribs, so I say to the latest waitress (a new one that seemed to be straight out of highschool, but they all look the same in their cowboy top and blue jeans) that has brought my ribs that I will go for the Texas Bold for my next round.

She looks at me in disgust and says "Oh my god you seriously want more?" so here I was taken aback. I just calmly and politely said "yah" She walks away shaking her head as she goes to serve another table. I do what any logical person would do and I ate the ribs. Well since there wasn't much to those ribs I finished them quickly. After that waitress was done serving the table she walked past my table on the way back to the kitchen, at first she passed by but then she backed up and looked at me and said, "Did you really finish all those ribs? Already?" I just lowered my head and said "Yes" Fighting back the tears of shame. 

Well the ribs took about 30 minutes to come out this time and were again the size of the last ones. The same waitress dropped them off on to my plate and waited for a second not saying anything. I just shook my head and she left. I didn't even eat the last ones I just boxed them up, paid then left. I never got to try the Mango Habanero. I never got to try the Mango Habanero. 

TL;DR Went to All you can eat ribs, got rib shamed by waitress for eating too many ribs. Never got to try Mango Habanero Ribs. 

So, how many slabs of ribs you consumed?

[Aladeen]

1 hour ago, slickjim23 said:

Why didn't you just have her executed? 

 

Unfortunately it seems Canada doesn't recognize my divinely constituted right to capital punishment... Write your MP!

56 minutes ago, MedicineHatCanuck said:

IDK if this is a ture story but something similar happened when my hockey team went to Montanas. A guy order 5 racks of ribs and they progessively got smaller and took longer to arrive. 

It's all true

55 minutes ago, CBH1926 said:

So, how many slabs of ribs you consumed?

6, though the only true half rack slab was the first one then they got progressively smaller the last two were only like a quarter rack combined! 

Edit forgot to mention I didn't eat the last little rack but brought it home.

[King Heffy]

 

 

[Rounoush]

Aladeen. I don't use the word hero very often but YOU are the greatest hero in American history.

[CBH1926]

30 minutes ago, Aladeen said:

Unfortunately it seems Canada doesn't recognize my divinely constituted right to capital punishment... Write your MP!

It's all true

6, though the only true half rack slab was the first one then they got progressively smaller the last two were only like a quarter rack combined! 

Edit forgot to mention I didn't eat the last little rack but brought it home.

That's not too bad, I mean all you can eat doesn't want you too eat too much but it all evens out.

Buddy of mine who played football and his teammates were asked to leave buffet once, because they consumed lot of food.

i am also not popular when it comes to buffets since I can eat a lot.

 

i went with some buddies to Brazilian steahouse once, it was almost $50 per person.

So I thought I should get my monies worth, they were eating salads, sides and other stuff so they got full quickly.

I focused only on big ticket items, filet, ribeye, lamb etc.

 

 

[Gurn]

Perhaps if we knew which Montana's it was we could agree to show up on a picked date, and eat the place under?

 

 

[Aladeen]

11 minutes ago, gurn said:

Perhaps if we knew which Montana's it was we could agree to show up on a picked date, and eat the place under?

 

 

The one in Victoria at Tillicum mall.

[King Heffy]

 

18 minutes ago, gurn said:

Perhaps if we knew which Montana's it was we could agree to show up on a picked date, and eat the place under?

 

8 minutes ago, Aladeen said:

The one in Victoria at Tillicum mall.

I can definitely get behind this.

[Gurn]

OK dinner and a movie at the Silver City. Might take me a few days to get down that way, but pick a day and I'll try to make it.

This could be fun.

[King Heffy]

5 minutes ago, gurn said:

OK dinner and a movie at the Silver City. Might take me a few days to get down that way, but pick a day and I'll try to make it.

This could be fun.

For sure.  Was planning on going over the next couple of weeks anyway but this gives me a good excuse.

[Toni Zamboni]

they sure dont make ribs like they used to in the good old days!

 

[Twilight Sparkle]

i liked the montanas i went to in nanaimo, but i couldn't help myself in drawing a stick figure cowboy riding a penis, like it were a bull

[Baer.]

My dads ribs are the best. I can't even eat other people's ribs cause it all tastes like crap compared to his.

[coastal.view]

ok i'm down as well to join up to do a rib fest as a small group

but i'll appease the establishment a bit by ordering a couple beers during the extended meal

this is all subject to schedules lining up nicely

[-Vintage Canuck-]

Funny thing is, All-You-Can-Eat-Ribs commercial came on TV, while reading your post.