Sultan of Sarcasm

I guess when you disappear for a couple of years things are bound to change...unless it's CDC!

Is this thing on?

Leaving with a sick feeling in my gut.

I get why it happens, but every time Stealth nukes a thread that's just getting good, a little part of me dies.

And I know what I have to do now. I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?

I'm going to try sitting at home for a couple weeks to see if my boss will give me a $200k raise.

Hamburgers! The cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast. What kind of hamburgers?

Look, I've always liked you, but take a hint. I'm not going to talk about it. It's her story to tell.

If I wanted a joke, I'd follow you into the john and watch you take a leak. Now are you gonna help me or are you gonna stand there like a slab of meat with mittens?

Don't let me stand in your way, please don't let me stand in your way. The last thing I want to be remembered as is an annoying blabbermouth... You know, nothing grinds my gears worse than some chowderhead that doesn't know when to keep his big trap shut... If you catch me running off with my mouth, just give me a poke on the chubbs...

Your life is defined by opportunities...even the ones you miss.

But I don't want anyone else to know that I approve of you 83. What would the good people of CDC say?? I can't be getting grouped with Mr. Dee!

Alright I admit it. I totally wanted to say hello.

I tried to click on the thread and hit your name instead. Didn't want you to think I was creepin', so here's a hello I didn't really want to give you.

Never saw it. That's the problem. Should I?

Apparently emoticons don't work in this setting.

It stumped me.

One of the classics has returned. Welcome home Bucky.

Never been to Empire Field. I hear it's a bunch of thieving bastards that hang out there.

What do you mean, what. Listen to me; I, I've been speed talking for about sixty kilometers now. I, I talk when I'm nervous, I mean, I, I talk like this when I'm nervous. I'm gonna shut up now.

They’ve done studies, you know. 60% of the time it works, every time.

If you vote for me all your wildest dreams will come true. Thank you.

It's the cape. People step aside for the Sultan.

Your wish is my command.

Man, I'm starting to sound like all the other guys around here that fall over themselves for you. Scary.

I was. It's true. You make me weak in the knees. Is there anything I can do to improve your day?

*cough* Yep, sure is. *cough*